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Original poster

To be gutted that I’m selling my car and giving up on driving

109 replies

utuyuutjg · 27/04/2024 18:24

I’ve had my driving license for around 10 years, and in that time I’ve struggled a lot with driving anxiety, I’ve never driven more than maybe 10 miles away with a passenger next to me, and alone I’ve never driven further than the supermarket. I’ve had 3 different cars and blamed it on each one, well I finally got a perfect automatic car that I absolutely love but I’ve realised it’s never been the cars that have been wrong, it’s me. I can’t shake my fear of driving, even though I can drive perfectly fine.

I’ve put my car up for sale today as I’ve only driven it once this year and it’s just a waste of money for it to just sit there. But I feel so sad and gutted. I’m 30 and it seems too young to be giving up on driving. I’m sad that driving was never a source of freedom and independence it was for my friends, it was just stress and anxiety.

OP posts:
Solgrass · 27/04/2024 18:37

I actually think you’ve done something really positive.

There was a thread the other day when a poster says she won’t go above 45mph because of fear and has taken to driving huge cars to stop others overtaking her/not feel intimidated by disgruntled drivers backed up behind her. She doesn’t have the skill set to be driving and is indeed a danger to the roads. She sees no wrong.

You’ve recognised there’s a clear issue with anxiety and know this is a bad combo with driving, where you need to have confidence in your abilities.

However, don’t write yourself off forever. Maybe you’ll go back to it on a few years after taking some lessons. Or maybe taking the bus etc will become such a pain you force yourself to drive again.

I just don’t want you to feel like a failure. I think this shows how intelligent and perceptive you are. All things that will make you a good driver one day.

Allfur · 27/04/2024 18:34

If you've only driven it once in four months, seems you can live your life without it, no big loss

Original poster
utuyuutjg · 27/04/2024 18:33

I can get by with public transport and have been doing so already (walking past my perfectly fine car to walk to the bus stop in the pouring rain…) I work from home or in London which I take the train to. I’ve wasted thousands of pounds in cars and car insurance, and tried so many times to drive including having extra lessons. It just seems silly to carry on like this

OP posts:
LittleGreenDragons · 27/04/2024 18:32

Keep the car and take counselling courses, and/or hypnotherapy, first.

Is it only with driving that causes this anxiety or for other things too? Medication might help as I know people can get some just for their driving test. Speak to your GP before you do anything.

EmmaEmerald · 27/04/2024 18:32

I sympathise.

I had to give up driving for health reasons. It was absolutely heartbreaking. Ironically, what I have seen on the road since then, I think anxiety might have affected my driving later on.

But yes, you have my full sympathy.

However, I do believe we have both done the right thing.

Officially, I could have carried on driving, and I think I could just notify the DVLA of my condition? But I didn't think it was responsible to do that.

I was nowhere near as good a driver as I used to be.

I didn't want to be one of those really crap drivers you see on the road.

So you have done the right thing.

But you will probably be inundated with posters telling you to keep trying....

I still have family and friends who don't understand my decision, so gird yourself. But have some 💐 I know how you feel. Was in my 30s when I had to stop.

Saralouhe · 27/04/2024 18:28

I'm 39 and never driven for the same reason.

TeaKitten · 27/04/2024 18:28

Allfur · 27/04/2024 18:26

There are other ways to get around that are far more freeing

Out of genuine interest, like what?

TeaKitten · 27/04/2024 18:26

If you don’t want to give up why not try further driving courses like pass plus or something similar? It is young to give up and depending on where you live it may not be practical long term. I can’t see why you need to give up on something for life if you don’t actually want to. Maybe view it as a break and leave yourself mentally open to it again in the future.

Allfur · 27/04/2024 18:26

There are other ways to get around that are far more freeing

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