To be gutted that I’m selling my car and giving up on driving

I didn't learn to drive until I was 42, passed 1st time, but absolutely hated driving. The stress and anxiety would kick in way before any trip I had to make, and that affected my blood pressure and mental health. I'd be physically shaking in the car, and not able to enjoy anywehre I'd travelled to, because i knew I'd soon have to drive back. It's no way to live and just not worth it. It just isn't for me, and while I appreciate that it's a handy convenience at times, I am so much happier using public transport. (Gutted about the wasted money on.lessons though).
I've even taken my DD8 in wonderful holidays (in the UK) by train which has been a brilliant adventure, and I've enjoyed the journey time with her as I'm relaxed and we can chat away or read books.
I'm also pleased that we're not contributing to the hideous environmental issues by adding more car journeys to the already overloaded roads, but that's another issue.
When I am a passenger in cars (which I don't do too often), I am appalled at the dangerous drivers I see flying about, its honestly shocking how scary some of them are.
So, for me, it has been the right choice and made my life better in terms of stress levels and safety. I totally understand why you've avoided it, and good for you for being sensible and responsible by making the choice you have made. Please try not to look at it as a failure. It's a sage choice in these circumstances and I hope you're able to find ways to enjoy alternative travel options.

You don't have to let anxiety win 🤷‍♀️

CBT would be helpful for this, you would have to push yourself to drive every day but if you wanted to you could overcome this. The only way to conquer anxiety is to face it over and over again.

By avoiding driving you've taught your brain that driving is dangerous and the brain in turn 'protects' you by chucking lots of negative thoughts and feelings when you go to drive. You can retrain your brain by exposing yourself to driving and teaching your brain that driving is completely safe.

I say this as someone who completely recovered from severe anxiety.

The book panicking about panic is useful.

Only if you're a seagull.

It's not exactly the safest or most practical means of transport, though.

I completely agree.
@utuyuutjg you did the right thing. And now you’ll have less stress in your life.

Cycling! Love a bike ride. Very liberating🙂

Good for you OP, you’ve made a difficult decision but you sound like you know it’s the right thing to do. If you’d rather catch the bus in the rain than get in your car then you really must hate driving! And that’s fine. I think there are more people than we realise who dislike driving enough not to do it for one reason or another, we just don’t notice because they get by on public transport and do a lot of walking.

If you don't want to give up then I don't think you should. Have more lessons, have therapy, get more practice. Do whatever you need to do because I suspect in the future if you need to drive you won't feel able to go back to it.

Honestly, it's an important skill to have and it gets better with practice. The worst thing you can do is avoid something you are anxious about.

Don’t give up, Op is my advice. Driving is a useful skill, and although I wish that there were better options with public transport than there are, it’s severely limiting in a lot of ways outside the big cities.

Try and find a sympathetic instructor and have some brush up lessons, maybe one who’s used to dealing with these perfectly normal fears people have around driving. Maybe look into advanced driving tuition.

As a confident driver, much of this is about knowing your space on the road, how to drive assertively and confidently but not aggressively. The vast majority of drivers out there are decent and will give you the space you need. Sure, a minority are dicks but you just have to ignore them and most importantly not be afraid of them- just give them as wider birth as possible.

Same 😏 wish I could though

I wish more people followed suit

I dont drive far. I'm not a long distance driver but it gets to me work, do school runs and days out. That'll do me lol If I need to travel further a field I love a train ride where I can kick back and relax.... when they're not striking that is lol 😆 I've learnt limitations. I'm confident on the roads I know, but you wouldn't see me driving up the M1 lol

I think it’s a good thing when people recognise that driving isn’t for them.

i have a relative that took 16 attempts to pass their test and is an absolute danger on the road but people kept on and on and on and on and on at her that it’s a must have skill and she should just keep practicing.

The roads would be far safer for everyone if people who shouldn’t drive didn’t.

See it as a positive that you’ve recognised that it’s not doing you any good and wasting money.

I’ve been driving for around 10 years. I hate driving, I’m shit at parking and can never judge if my car will fit through gaps or into parking spots etc. If I could get away with using just public transport I would. Don’t be so hard on yourself, drivings not for everyone and as you’ve said you really don’t need to drive

If I could wave a magic wand and never drive again, then I would. I have been driving for 40 years and I do not enjoy it any more.

In my area, there are far more cars, local amenities have closed so more traffic on the main roads as people have to travel to do stuff they could have walked to previously, plus the roads are disintegrating!

You have passed your test, you are just giving up a car, not your licence. So don't be sad, it's a decision taken that is relevant for now. Who knows where you will be living or what your life will be like in 10 years. You might chose to drive again in the future.

It seems a shame to give up now. If you really want to drive can you try something for anxiety?

Ooh I've never tried that 🚀

I had to give up driving 5 years ago down to a chronic health condition. I take taxis 3-4 times a week and spend far less than the cost of running a car.
Yanbu at all, I totally get it. But it doesn’t mean you won’t be able to do things/go places. And it does mean that all that driving anxiety will disappear, sit back and call a cab instead!

A space rocket.

On a positive note, you have learned a new skill. Who knows when you may need to drive in future? My elderly neighbour only kept up her driving in case she had to take her DH to hospital.

Please don't give up if you don't want to.

Have you considered extra lessons like PassPlus? I was a really nervous driver but I then moved somewhere where I had no choice and it was surprising how quickly it just became second nature when I knew there was no other option.

Have you tried therapy for the driving anxiety? Can you remember when/why it started?

Cars are costly to run, think of all the money you're saving and supermarkets deliver.

It sounds like you are doing the right thing. Driving isn't for everyone and it's great that you are accepting that - and I'm sure you have things that you are great at!

Driving these days is very stressful indeed. Potholes, too many cars, too many road signs, so many roundabouts and traffic lights and speed cameras. Tiny parking spaces. I don't blame you at all for wanting a more stress-free life.

I don’t drive far, but being able to get to the supermarket and take my kids to their friends houses is really helpful.

I’ll never be able to drive on motorways or through busy city centres, but I’m ok with that. Being able to drive has still improved my life, just not as much as others!

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, why not keep the car and use it for the things you are comfortable with and maybe in time you’ll go further (but you don’t have to)