To be gutted that I’m selling my car and giving up on driving

OK, I'll rephrase it.
Public transport is woeful where I live.
HTH

"I can't think of anywhere I might want to go in the UK that I'd consider inaccessible." were my exact words. For that matter I can't even think of anywhere I don't want to go that I'd consider inaccessible. Some combination of train/bike/bus will get me there.

Go on, try me. Stick a pin in a map and I'll tell you how I'd get there. You never know, I might even have already been there.

You can't think of anywhere in the UK you can't get by train... ok then.

You've definitely got a point there.

You seem very absolute when you're telling me what I "can't" do. I'd understand if you said that you wouldn't be prepared to do something, or that it might be difficult, but imagine telling me that things I do can't be done.

Why can't someone do the school run with two kids on a bicycle? When the kids are small you use a bakfiets, a child seat on the rack, or a trailer. When they get bigger they can ride independantly alongside. When I used to ride to secondary as a teenager I always used to pass a father escorting his daughters to the primary in the opposite direction, I thought that was a lovely routine, quite an improvement on the behaviour that school drop-offs are often associated with.

Why couldn't I do a big shop? My pannier rack is rated for 25kg so I used to sling a sack of spuds over them every few months. I've now got a trailer rated for 40kg, and there are heavy-duty options if I really wanted them.

Motorways are never the only possible route to somewhere. If I want to go anywhere further afield than I would be prepared to cycle, I just ride to the station and catch a train. I can't think of anywhere I might want to go in the UK that I'd consider inaccessible.

I hear you, OP.

I can no longer drive. I used to love it. I would just drive aimlessly (no destination) with music blaring. It helped my mental health a lot, and was very therapeutic! I also had to sell my motorbike. I ended up crying so much... pathetic really.

You're wrong on 50% of that

I have been driving for 30 years. I only drive to work, to see friends and family and locally for shopping and days out. I am too scared to go on motorways. I can drive on them if someone is with me but otherwise I have a full blown anxiety attack, I recognise this makes me dangerous so I keep to my limits.
The local driving I do is an absolute lifeline. It means I am independent. I would urge anyone that even if you a nervous driver to think twice before you give up, especially if you live in a rural area. Even if you can only get to your local Tesco and back it is a huge help.

I am 29 and still don't drive for this reason. Everyone keeps pressuring me to learn and I have taken lessons but I have a legit fear and anxiety and I can't imagine driving alone with my kids.

You have a very narrow view of the world

It’s not, because I actually couldn’t live the life I’m living without one. I’m nit defensive, that’s just a fact. I’m a supply teacher so get last minute work at a variety of places, often not served well be public transport. I sing in a choir and play in a band, neither of which are accessible by public transport due to where they rehearse. One I could arguably do on a bike, but the roads aren’t particularly safe. Plus I like to visit places and public transport over bigger distances is prohibitively expensive.

Not if you want to be able to go out if the area in which you live. So much of this is ‘no need for a car in London’ or ‘my area has great public transport’. Fine. But what if you want to visit somewhere else? Or move to live somewhere else?

I think people get very defensive about driving because it costs a fortune and means they get less exercise. It must feel quite threatening to look at all the downsides and wonder if it is actually necessary.

Are you driving a manual or automatic? I find automatics take all the stress out of driving. They’re a thousand times nicer to drive.

It's great you're giving it another go but I also agree with pp sometimes it's fine to say driving isn't for me. It is a shame it's hard to do but I do have friends who admit they can't drive, it's just not for them, even if they've passed their test.

Honestly I've been driving 20 years, I drive almost daily and I still have to try very hard, have to really concentrate as it doesn't come naturally. I still make mistakes like misjudging distances and parking too far from the kerb or forgetting to get into the right lane. The convenience of driving makes such a big difference to me and my family, I would not just stop, but I don't enjoy it, and I avoid very long motorway journeys. As pp say, it doesn't mean you have to drive everywhere. I still walk or take the bus if it makes more sense, and always get the train if I'm going to a city.

I sold the car and bought a bicycle. It was so liberating. Saved me a fortune, and saved me a massive headache too.

Which is fine, but you cant do the school run with 2 kids on a bicycle, or do the big weekly shop on a bicycle, or go anywhere which involves motorways, or more than about 10 miles from home. If all you're using your car for is very very local journeys, without passengers and without needing to carry luggage/stuff, it might be more appropriate, but for all other uses it is not.

Me too! I actually feel more liberated not driving because I am not stressing about it all the time.
If I had to drive on, say , Wednesday, it woukd be on my mind & stressing me out for the whole of the previous week - this time next week I'll have to drive etc etc.
I couldn't go out & drive more to overcome the anxiety because the anxiety was sky high in the 1st place.
Refresher lessons didn't help either...
All I thought was that I was only ever as good as my last journey & I just had this feeling of "getting away with it."
Now I walk or get public transport everywhere - yes it takes 2 or 3 times as long but its still better than the absolute terror driving induces.

There are adaptive bikes and trikes available if you're unable to ride a conventional bicycle. Electric assistance too.

I didn't find owning a car convenient at all. There was always something going wrong, or another bill to pay. Struggles to find parking spaces at home and at work.

I sold the car and bought a bicycle. It was so liberating. Saved me a fortune, and saved me a massive headache too.

When I first passed I drove around my area at 7am on a Sunday morning, did all the tricky roundabouts from every possible direction and lane. When we went on a longer drive we left early in the morning Satnav on for reassurance even if I knew roughly where I was going, driving back home is always easier than driving somewhere for the first time even with more traffic on the road.

Immediately after my test I paid for a very expensive gym membership in the next village and forced myself to drive there everyday. Finally learnt how to reverse in the gym's car park.

Another vote for CBT. I eventually passed my test at 56. Don't love driving but boy did it come in useful when my DH had a seizure due to a brain tumour and we live in a rural situation. I'm anxious as a passenger too so sit in the back of a car and have trained myself to look out the side window so can't see the idiots on the road my DH is screaming at!

Erm no there arnt Having a car is the most convenient form of transport obviously

Public transport being awful or not entirely depends where you live.

I want to know what the more freeing transport options are! Can't afford a space rocket, unfortunately!
Can't ride a bike. Public transport is awful. Trains in particular are stupidly expensive. Rickshaw? Husky sled?