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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to accept a great job offer at the company where my ex works?

79 replies

LooneyLoons · 27/04/2024 14:57

4 years ago I was brutally and suddenly dumped by a man I had been in a relationship with for 18 months. We had met at work and I had already left the company when he broke it off with me without a proper explanation. I eventually found out he had left me to start dating another colleague with whom he still is as far as I know. I have since started a new relationship too, but it took me years to recover from the heartbreak of that relationship. At the time it was horrendous. I have never heard from him again nor have I ever bumped into him anywhere since the breakup.

He and his new girlfriend moved to a new company shortly afterward. The company is a top-rated employer in our city and quite a well-known brand. A couple of months ago a recruiter from their new company contacted me to ask if i was interested in applying for a role there. The job is a very senior director role with a much bigger team size and scope of work than I currently in a director role in my current company. Thinking that I was under qualified for the role, I accepted to interview but didn't really think there was a serious chance to get an offer.

Well, I got an offer yesterday and it is great. It is above my already very high compensation and the role is a proper step up in my career. However, I do dread the whole ex thing.

The office is big and there are roughly 800 people, and we would work in different departments but I would certainly see him regularly in the common areas. The idea of bumping into him in the corridors makes me nauseous and deeply uncomfortable. However, I am aware that turning down a great job opportunity for an ex of 4 years ago would be beyond silly.

What would you do? AIBU to take the job and ignore the ex? Is it going to look like I am stalking him? Would you turn down the job opportunity to spare yourself the discomfort?

OP posts:
ThreeTescoBags · 27/04/2024 15:01

I'd take it, it'll only be awkward for a bit then it'll just be normal. Couple of times max then no shits given. If you haven't seen or heard from each other in 4 years it'd be a real stretch to say its stalkerish

TinyYellow · 27/04/2024 15:00

Congratulations on your new job offer! Take it. Your ex already messed with you once, he doesn’t get to do it twice.

The first time of bumping into him probably will be awkward, but it will lessen every time until it is a non event. You’re probably overestimating how much you would bump into him anyway.

roses2 · 27/04/2024 15:00

What position are the two of them? Could any malicious gossip harm your new role?

WhatWouldYouDo33 · 27/04/2024 14:59

No I wouldn’t turn it down. It sounds like a great opportunity and just ignore him when you see him.

would be different if it was a tiny company and you had to work together every day.

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