to accept a great job offer at the company where my ex works?

Take the job!

You can cope with seeing the ex. After all, you don't want to be with a man who shows no respect or kindness for someone who loves him. He's revealed poor, weak character and you have already risen beyond that.

Plan how to behave. Be civil and a little cool, not frosty, if you see him.

I think you’ll be surprised how little you see him. 800 employees, the rise in WFH, different departments…you could go months without seeing him. Don’t turn it down, he might have left for all you know, he might be planning to leave, they might be planning on making him redundant.

If and when you do see him, look surprised, smile and say ‘Hi Jack, good to see you’ and walk on.

As much as I want to say do it, the thought of bumping into my ex every day makes me feel physically sick, and I don't think it would be good for my mental health. It also would impact my relationship a little, as my partner would be very aware and upset that I would potentially be bumping into someone who hurt me so much on a regular basis. My ex would also take every opportunity to spread lies about me throughout the workplace.
That being said it was an abusive relationship, which has resulted in my now 20 year old being left with an absent father who pops up a couple of times a year, so obviously has longer lasting implications than your situation- just wanted to say I can see why you are hesitating when you have so many 'go for it' posts. Have a serious look at how this might affect you mentally too, whether you think you will be okay after the initial few weeks of anxiousness and uncertainty have passed.

Congrats on the job offer! Landing a great opportunity is always worth celebrating, regardless of the company or who else works there. It sounds like you've weighed the pros and cons and decided this job is right for you, which is fantastic. As for working where your ex is, well, life's too short to let past relationships dictate our career choices. As they say, don't let the past hold you back from a bright future! Plus, who knows, maybe this is a chance for both of you to show how mature and professional you can be. As for me, I believe a "Sarkari Job" sounds intriguing, but ultimately, it's the job itself and the opportunities it presents that matter most.

Bloody do it!!! And you'll be incredible at your job! You earned this, now take it!!

Yep as long as you’re the most senior in the situation I’d be turning up and smashing it and being fabulous and letting them be your junior and feel uncomfortable!

Go for it. Congratulations x

I’d take the role. I doubt he would even be thinking about it now as he has a long term relationship. I would think everyone’s moved on and it’s a big company.

Exactly this. A man wouldn't give anything like this a second thought.

I think reframe it as a win.

youe ex hurt you badly. But you’ve come out on top, and can enjoy the feeling of having forged ahead, kept your career going and are now appointed in a post senior to him.

you can glow with success around him if you bump into him. Casual wave, bright and breezy, ‘oh yes how are you getting on? Sorry have to go important meeting’ big smile.

you’ll be great.

OP must have looked them up.

I hope you take the new job, you deserve it.

Perhaps the ex will feel humiliated and uncomfortable by your more senior position and find a new job.

I agree with this. If, everyday, you are going to be impacted by these horrible feelings l would be concerned for you. Work has to be a comfortable place . It's a fantastic opportunity but the most important thing is you are happy in your job and looking forward to going in everyday.
Two things that might make it easier: book some counselling now where you can offload some of the thoughts and feelings as they arise. And decide..now you know how capable you are..that if it is an awkward situation going forward that you will only use it as a stepping stone to greater things.
And, as someone already said, you might see this guy and think..what did l ever see in him??
All the very best with it.

I like this. If anyone ever finds out, brush it off as a very casual thing. Hardly more than friends really. You lost touch years ago and you had no idea that he was working there, and it’s not something that you ever give much thought to, especially as you have no professional contact with each other either. It’s irrelevant.

If you see him, I’d smile as though you’d never met him before, say good morning and keep walking.

And then, very secretly, you bloody revel in the fact that you’re doing better in your career than he is in his, and that he will be squirming each time he does bump into you.

If you've not seen or heard from him in 4 years how do you know if he still works there? Or if he still with the girlfriend?

This with bells on 💪🏼 Well done!!!

I think the fact that you would be senior to him is very relevant - this saves your dignity. I’d take the job. It sounds like a great opportunity for you, you’ll be in different departments so you won’t see him or his partner much and after four years you can just style it out; act like he’s no more to you than someone you used to know - because that’s probably all he thinks he is anyway. Good luck!

I wouldn't stymie my career for this. I understand that they both work there, and I don't think it would unreasonable maybe to go and see someone for a couple of sessions to discuss your dealings around it and strategies for when you inevitably to run into him/ them but you won't be the direct manager to either of them, and it doesn't sound like you will have much impact on each others roles, so I'd do it

Sounds like a great career move. And THAT is what's important here.

Absolutely take the role.
You would be senior to both of them and ask yourself this, would any career driven man ever not think of taking a role because some ex worked there?

Don't let him still affect your life .. take the job and the fact your In a higher position is the cherry on the cake ..and if you bump into him or her .. put on your brave face and act like it was a long time ago ( which it is ) and hold your head high.. if anyone is going to feel awkward it's gonna be the new girlfriend

Take the job and good luck

I agree with everything everyone else is saying, but reading this The idea of bumping into him in the corridors makes me nauseous and deeply uncomfortable. makes me wonder what impact this is going to have one you?

Are you able to ignore those feelings or will that seriously impact on your emotional wellbeing and mental health every day?