Pissed off at friends birthday plans

Will you drink the wine? I don’t see a problem assuming you’d buy drinks anyway. You don’t seem to like her much so maybe don’t go!

Two glasses of wine in any fairly ordinary bar in London would be more than £15 anyway?
So essentially it's just to ensure each guest spends the minimum, ie 2 drinks. That's probably the rule set by the bar. You're not really paying much else in real terms? Presuming there will be snacks? Would you rather you went to an unreserved area of another bar where it'll be really crowded and you'd still end up buying a couple drinks anyway?
I think it sounds fair enough. Though obviously if it's outside of your budget just politely decline. If she really does have plenty of money maybe she'll just tell you to come along and she'll cover your fee.

If she is tight fisted CF then you need to be absolutely sure on the TRUE cost of the event.

Is it Option 1)

15 quid each regardless of how many people show up? Ie if only 10 people come no bother.

OR

Option 2) is it a fixed cost say 300 quid and she needs 20 people to turn up and pay 15 quid each?

If she is a CF and it is option 2 you run the risk of going and not enough people are there so you are asked for 30 quid etc.

You and friends have form for paying for her dog so she may expect the number that turn up with just agree to foot the rental bill....

Good luck. She seems hard work and life is too short to waste on CFs and people who bring negativity to your life.

Well yes, but it is the organiser's risk to take, isn't it?

If there is a minimum spend that doesn't get met, then that's the host's issue and expense.

I don't drink, so wouldn't get anything for my money. If me and DH were both invited, he drinks but not wine, so we would fork out £30 for nothing.

It is cheeky. Organise a night out that you can afford or where people can manage their own spending for themselves. You can't ask for other people to fund your party.

FWIW: I'm not one of those mumsnet people that expect the birthday person to pay for their meal/ drinks in a restaurant situation. But if you invite people to a party, then at least some form of food/ drink should be on you.

Bad day then, we all have them

£15??!! For a reserved space in a nice bar? Come off it. It's standard to charge a fee that is then deducted from the bar tab, it's to ensure people don't mess the bar around by not turning up.

In some posh bars £15 gets you ONE cocktail!

No, you didn't "have to" contribute, you chose to.

She can't spend your money, you're the one doing it. So stop. If it means you fall out, then she wasn't a friend anyway.

I hate wine, so I'd be annoyed at that. I'd reply, "Sorry I don't drink wine. £15 is alot for something I can't drink. Why don't we just go to the pub instead?"

What a strange approach for a birthday party 🤔 She should have paid for it, and let guests know there is a minimum spend so get drinking (or eating)😆 I'd never dream of charging guests!

I’m actually fucking delightful. HTH

Perfectly reasonable. If you want to go and drink cheap nasty wine go somewhere else

😂😂😂

Is she the host or a club promoter??? It would be a polite no from me. I’m embarrassed for her.

😂😂😂

Oh god OP, if I was her I would be glad you weren't coming. Touchy much 🤣

OP I think you're getting a hard time here. This isn't really about the £15 is it? If there was no back story you might have a brief wtf moment and then pay it. But this has a 'last straw' feeling to it.

This friend wants a lavish lifestyle but all at someone else's expense and you're fed up of it being (partly) at yours. Her level of tightness is going to drive people away.

And who thinks slices of cheese and a bit of carrot is a dinner, when you've invited someone over? Would she be happy with that if she was the one who'd been invited? Or would she expect the full red carpet treatment?

I couldn't stay friends with her knowing that she will always have her hand out. And maybe this is the end of the road for you too.

Yet another person who doesn't seem to like their friends

If you feel like that about her why did you accept the invitation in the first place, and why are you bothered about maintaining the friendship? And you didn't have to contribute to her dog's treatment.

bloody hell you are unpleasant aren’t you, what’s the point in commenting voluntarily on a thread when you aren’t interested?

Me too! And I’m in my 30s so not ancient. It’s like selling tickets to a birthday party.

It’s not that I mind paying for my own drinks or expect the host to pay or provide anything. It’s being told I have to put my hand in my pocket to turn up.

Plus might not like wine, or be pregnant, or driving cos I can’t afford a cab or any other myriad of reasons why I might not drink the two glasses of wine my ticket includes.

@Alarmingghhh “A few months ago we all had to contribute to a crowdfunder to raise ££££ for her dog because she didn't want to spend her own money.”

No, you didn’t. You need to learn to say no!

It's a bit odd. This is probably a situation where she has to guarantee a minimum spend to have exclusive use of the space. In that situation I'd invite people along in the hope that they spent enough at the bar and then if the minimum spend wasn't reached I'd buy a couple of bottles of champagne. It's weird to dictate how much you all have to spend and what you will be drinking.

its an invite, not a summons 😝

I wouldn’t mind contributing to the cost of a redeemable deposit, but I would mind being told I was only allowed to drink wine out of it. If I’m paying for them, I’ll choose my own drinks thanks.

Paying for a ticket to go to a birthday party seems alien to me. I'm surprised by these responses! Showing my age perhaps

I wouldn’t have contributed to the dog, so 🤷‍♀️