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Original poster

Pissed off at friends birthday plans

253 replies

Alarmingghhh · 27/04/2024 11:02

It's a big birthday and she wants to rent out a space in a poshish bar, I had heard all about it, sounded good, I told her was available to come etc.

Well she's just sent us all our invites and she is charging a fee basically to cover the cost of reserving space. You do get something for the price aka your "ticket" includes 2 drinks, but I just think its really cheeky?! She has savings so it's like use your savings or else lower your expectation?!

OP posts:
Lampslights · 27/04/2024 14:23

burnoutbabe · 27/04/2024 14:19

@Lampslights I more meant £15 for wine is not worth it as I don't drink wine.

And it's not clear if you can even pick your own wine or it's just "here is your warm glass" from a pre sone tray.

I agree 2 large glasses of wine is costly, it's more not knowing quite what 2 glasses means here.

Then she can ask. Generally you can have something else if you wish. It’s not like they say wine or give us your money for nothing, it’s a min spend thing making it easy for them. I suspect she does drink wine, and hence why the birthday girl used that drink,

LuluBlakey1 · 27/04/2024 14:22

Alarmingghhh · 27/04/2024 11:10

Its 15 quid and 2 glasses of wine

I guess it does make sense it's just she has form for making sure she never puts her hand in her pocket so it's rubbed me up the wrong way

Well don't go then.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 27/04/2024 14:21

Beautiful3 · 27/04/2024 13:35

I hate wine, so I'd be annoyed at that. I'd reply, "Sorry I don't drink wine. £15 is alot for something I can't drink. Why don't we just go to the pub instead?"

You don't get to dictate how the birthday girl chooses how to spend her birthday!

But you are always free to decline any invite

burnoutbabe · 27/04/2024 14:19

@Lampslights I more meant £15 for wine is not worth it as I don't drink wine.

And it's not clear if you can even pick your own wine or it's just "here is your warm glass" from a pre sone tray.

I agree 2 large glasses of wine is costly, it's more not knowing quite what 2 glasses means here.

Silvers11 · 27/04/2024 14:17

Boxerdor · 27/04/2024 14:14

Op you’re coming across very strangely. People are not traumatised by your predicament

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It's not the OP who said she was traumatised. Might want to re-read the post you are commenting on?

Silvers11 · 27/04/2024 14:15

@Alarmingghhh - Honestly. This doesn't sound like any kind of CF to me to be honest. £15 for 2 glasses of wine sounds like what you would pay in many bars/restaurants.

I would suspect that if she gets people to pay for 2 glasses of wine when replying, she will have less people dropping out at the last minute. Doesn't sound like she is trying to get the money for the rent of the place or anything like that at £15 for 2 drinks

Boxerdor · 27/04/2024 14:14

Alarmingghhh · 27/04/2024 11:23

Just checking as you seemed quite traumatised by this tale of two strangers. I'm glad you're OK

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Op you’re coming across very strangely. People are not traumatised by your predicament

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 27/04/2024 14:14

How very helpful all the "so just don't go" comments are. The OP knows that's an option but doubtless feels it's a bit arm-twisting for cash.

I would expect the party girl to pay to hire the venue and then have people pay for their own drinks.

If it was an event that sold tickets to the public, that's different.

Lampslights · 27/04/2024 14:11

burnoutbabe · 27/04/2024 14:08

£15 for 2 drinks sounds okay. But £15 for 2 wine glasses does not.

One assumes that actually it's pre-poured and circulated on a tray? So you may get 2 or if early 3-4. Arrive late and get none!

Really? I pay that here easily in the south east, much more for a large glass of wine, depends on the venue.

I also don’t assume it’s pre poured, often these places give little tokens out for your drinks.

burnoutbabe · 27/04/2024 14:08

£15 for 2 drinks sounds okay. But £15 for 2 wine glasses does not.

One assumes that actually it's pre-poured and circulated on a tray? So you may get 2 or if early 3-4. Arrive late and get none!

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 27/04/2024 14:08

SleepingStandingUp · 27/04/2024 11:43

TBF if you drink wine that's covering your basic costs so you're neutral. It's only an issue if you won't drink the wine or it's specified bottles of cheap stuff left on the tables all night

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I don't drink wine but wouldn't begrudge £15 to join a birthday do with a friend in a specially hired venue

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 27/04/2024 14:05

hottchocolatte · 27/04/2024 11:42

OP your posts on this thread are a bit weird. I'm in two minds about whether she is being reasonable or unreasonable but you could just say "Sorry I didn't realise we had to pay and have wine. I don't drink wine so will sit this one out" if you don't want to go.

You say she doesn't pay her way so I wonder whether the £15 covers her costs too!

Or just decline the invite without making a sarcy/snippity response.

Or end the friendship if OP dislikes her as much as is comin g across

Crabble · 27/04/2024 14:03

Nanny0gg · 27/04/2024 13:52

But how many people fund parties these days?

If you go out in a group to celebrate, surely you pay for yourself?

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Yes you pay for your own drinks, of your choice, but you aren’t charged a fee for turning up. Buying your own drinks when there is not the same as having to pay her £15 in advance to go

betterangels · 27/04/2024 14:02

Uricon2 · 27/04/2024 13:59

It never ceases to amaze me how people who seem to find reasonable use of the word "no" IRL have zero issue with taking a pop at anyone who disagrees with them on here.

Oh, and the numbers who have "friends" they seem to actively dislike.

Ha, agree.

Iaskedyouthrice · 27/04/2024 14:01

Codlingmoths · 27/04/2024 12:54

I wouldn’t have contributed to the dog, so 🤷‍♀️

This. No wonder she continues to pull stunts like this. I would too if the people around me were daft enough to continue to sub me 😁.
You are getting the usual 'you sound like you don't like her very much' nonsense replies OP when people with normal social lives, friendships etc know that this isn't something you do. If I want a specific venue for any occasion then I pay for it.
Still, if the people around me would keep on coughing up then I'd try it on too. So many people too scared to say anything to anyone. Don't get it at all.

KateDelRick · 27/04/2024 14:00

Oh my god! Cheeky! Imagine charging people to go to your party! Bin that one.

MonsteraMama · 27/04/2024 14:00

I'm so glad my friends are normal. It sounds so exhausting being like this.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 27/04/2024 13:59

Alarmingghhh · 27/04/2024 11:27

63% of voters agree with me 😊

The people commenting are the weird (or grabby) ones.

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And the more you post, the less they do 😃

Uricon2 · 27/04/2024 13:59

It never ceases to amaze me how people who seem to find reasonable use of the word "no" IRL have zero issue with taking a pop at anyone who disagrees with them on here.

Oh, and the numbers who have "friends" they seem to actively dislike.

WinterDeWinter · 27/04/2024 13:57

when she texted you to say someone else had had a go at her - THAT was your opportunity to say, well I didn't want to be the first to say it, but it is does leave a bit of a bad taste in the mouth being asked to fund your choice of birthday venue.

Thegoodbadandugly · 27/04/2024 13:56

£15 for two drinks at a posh bar is ok, I don't see what the problem is, you would be buying more than two drinks anyway.

Otherstories2002 · 27/04/2024 13:56

Alarmingghhh · 27/04/2024 11:15

It's because she never pays her way. A few months ago we all had to contribute to a crowdfunder to raise ££££ for her dog because she didn't want to spend her own money.

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Had to? Gun to your head?

Nanny0gg · 27/04/2024 13:52

Alarmingghhh · 27/04/2024 11:10

Its 15 quid and 2 glasses of wine

I guess it does make sense it's just she has form for making sure she never puts her hand in her pocket so it's rubbed me up the wrong way

But how many people fund parties these days?

If you go out in a group to celebrate, surely you pay for yourself?

EdithArtois · 27/04/2024 13:50

It’s just the venue making sure she has the numbers and it is worthwhile reserving her the space. It will also help her know if people are serious about coming. 15 quid for 2 drinks really isn’t that bad

VestibuleVirgin · 27/04/2024 13:49

Alarmingghhh · 27/04/2024 11:10

Its 15 quid and 2 glasses of wine

I guess it does make sense it's just she has form for making sure she never puts her hand in her pocket so it's rubbed me up the wrong way

Clearly not in London for that price!

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