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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to up my hours when my children are at school?

138 replies

stayasiam · 27/04/2024 10:37

I am a teacher working 0.6 (3 days a week)

DH often works away, and even when he doesn’t leaves at 7 am and back after the children are in bed. He does do what he can but realistically isn’t around much. Obviously this means everything to do with the children and home falls to me. The one bit of respite I’ve had is that during school holidays they are in nursery for a couple of days so every 6/7 weeks or so I get a couple of days to myself. This keeps me fro losing my sanity Smile

Obviously when they’re both at school this will change and I’ll have them in the holidays so AIBU to refuse to up my hours or even ask to to 3 days spread over 4 or 5? I really will value a couple of short days a week to get stuff done and just breathe a bit!

OP posts:
Original poster
stayasiam · 27/04/2024 10:50

Poor you @nozbottheblue , how awful. I can see how it happens though.

OP posts:
nozbottheblue · 27/04/2024 10:49

No, stick with 3 days for your sanity- I wish I’d been able to! I carried on teaching full time with two children, ended up burning out, having a breakdown and divorce (from another depressed teacher).
Better now though!
Look after yourself, no-one else will.

Original poster
stayasiam · 27/04/2024 10:49

Kitkatfiend31 · 27/04/2024 10:47

How can you do that as a teacher? School days and meetings are set times?

Show quote history

Well, the timetable would be arranged in such a way so that I wouldn’t teach the first or last period in a day.

So if I am part time (3 days) and I have two days ‘off’ that’s 10 lessons.

So if I don’t teach the first period of the day or the last period of the day that’s 10 hours = 2 days.

OP posts:
Ollieneedsourhelp · 27/04/2024 10:48

I wouldn't unless its really necessary. Why would he expect you to contribute more, when he isn't able to with his side of the bargain. You are the default Mum, cook, cleaner, ect. He can't manage that whilst working full time so why would he expect you to?

Mmmmdanone · 27/04/2024 10:48

Stay as you are then. I don't think the working parent realises how easy the part time one makes their lives.

theresapossuminthekitchen · 27/04/2024 10:47

stayasiam · 27/04/2024 10:44

I don’t think he’d pressure me to work more hours but he does assume that I’ll work five days a week but shorter days so I can do drop offs and pick ups which seems to me to be the absolute worst of all worlds - all the disadvantages to part time without the tangible benefit of a couple of days off!

Yeah, don’t do this unless finances are so tight that you have to. Absolutely the worst of all worlds!!

Kitkatfiend31 · 27/04/2024 10:47

stayasiam · 27/04/2024 10:44

I don’t think he’d pressure me to work more hours but he does assume that I’ll work five days a week but shorter days so I can do drop offs and pick ups which seems to me to be the absolute worst of all worlds - all the disadvantages to part time without the tangible benefit of a couple of days off!

How can you do that as a teacher? School days and meetings are set times?

theresapossuminthekitchen · 27/04/2024 10:47

Who is making you up your hours? School can’t but if it’s your DH then it will have to be a family decision, taking into account finances, etc.

I have taught mostly part time since I returned to work after kids, 0.6-0.8 over the years. I still teach part time despite them being secondary age. My day or two ‘off’ (really it’s just working from home!) means that I can leave school as soon as my kids are finished and that I don’t have to work weekends. My husband is happy with this as a balance for our family. However, that only works because we don’t need the money and would rather have less money for splurging on fancy holidays and a better work-life balance all year round.

DreamyMintFish · 27/04/2024 10:46

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Kitkatfiend31 · 27/04/2024 10:46

YANBU he won't be there to help with looking after them when ill or going to school events/assemblies? Believe me you will need that flexibility of those 2 days. It might change when they are older but not while young.

Original poster
stayasiam · 27/04/2024 10:44

I don’t think he’d pressure me to work more hours but he does assume that I’ll work five days a week but shorter days so I can do drop offs and pick ups which seems to me to be the absolute worst of all worlds - all the disadvantages to part time without the tangible benefit of a couple of days off!

OP posts:
mightydolphin · 27/04/2024 10:42

How old are your DC? Personally, if finances weren't an issue, I would do the first year with your DC in school on 3 days a week and then perhaps work 4 days a week the following year if I felt it was manageable. Children obviously change and grow, so unless they have SEN then you might not feel so burnt out. Is your DH pressing you to work more hours?

Mmmmdanone · 27/04/2024 10:42

Is your dh asking you to up your hours?

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