To refuse to up my hours when my children are at school?

I'm not a teacher but I did change from working 3 full days to 5 short days when my kids went to school and it was a terrible plan.

Work definitely expanded because if you are there for most of a day no-one realistically covers for you. It was hard to leave on time. I was always late, stressed or in a rush.

The kids frankly did not appreciate it. They were tired after school and it was not quality time. They enjoyed after school club when we switched to that.

I did indeed have no time to myself ever. I was always rushing from work to kids stuff and often working again when they were asleep and doing all the housework at weekends as I had no time in the week.

When my husband suggested I go full time we had a discussion and I laid out all the stuff I do on my days off. All the washing, shopping, cleaning, life admin etc and I said that he would need to take on half of it and it would have to be done at the weekend. I appreciate this is what lots of people have to do but if you can afford not to it could be better for you both.
If he doesn't 'get it' and fully understand that you work hard - even if it's not all paid work-

• then that's how resentment builds.

Do NOT spread your hours over 5 days! You’ll feel like you are working full time for .6 pay, seriously! You can’t guarantee what your timetable might look like. At least with 3 full days you know you’re going to have 3 full on days.
When they start school you’ll have 2 days a week to mark, prepare lessons, have play dates, do life admin, chill a bit during term time.
Hopefully your kids will attend a school with wrap around care so they’ll be looked after on those 3 days even with your husband’s long hours.
We always have after school meetings, training, parents eves, etc on Tuesdays so my DC were in afterschool club every Tuesday and their dad picked them up when he finished work / had to finish early to pick them up.
ExDP always thought I had it easy because I was off when the DC were off and used to moan about how I was on holiday. It saved us thousands of pounds me working term time only, but he wouldn’t recognise I was still working - just looking after our children instead of teaching other people's! When he is on annual leave he does naff all with DC.
I used a mixture of free / cheap / reciprocal play date activities to make sure I had some alone time during the holidays. It can be done!

Or you could be busier if they do extra curricular.

Op - I thought the same as your husband did op - as soon as my youngest was in reception I organised my work (my job means I can work as little or much as I want) ti work all the time they were in school. It was shit. For everyone. For me cos I was knackered. For my kids cos I was knackered. And for my husband because we then ended up doing all the errands:chores/admin that I would have got done in the week on my days 'off', on the weekend.

As a single parent, and if your kids do extra curricular, and you work all the hours they're in school with marking etc on top if you're a teacher, then you will end up working 7am -10pm straight through every school day. No life.

This is awful. You expected to bend over backwards to facilitate his working life. What flexibility is he showing?

What's your drop off and collecting plan for 3 short days? You may find having 3 days over 4 easier, with a day off at home too.

Fellow teacher here, work FT and do pick ups, H does drop offs. Luckily I have family support so do get some downtime. DH doesn't work long hours either.

If you stick with the 3 longer days have you a plan to manage school drop-offs and collections?

When they’re home from school though they will be older and will probably be able to play together / watch TV independently etc, it’s not like toddler years where you have to be glued to them. You don’t need to bath them every day either.
Not saying you would have it easy at all, but just that the evenings after school might be more relaxing than you are imagining.

that doesn’t sound like it’ll work given your DH current work. But do consider if he would like to reduce his own hours, and you work more?

You can't do shorter days as a teacher not sure how that is an option? When are you going to do your planning - at weekends? So essentially you're working 7 days a week then. I don't think it'll be possible.

I used to be a part time teacher now work full time for the local authority. I have more spare time and more chilled working full time not as a teacher. I can do almost all school picks ups and drop offs. Whereas before I would have to use wraparound as wouldn't leave school until 5ish

YANBU. I work 30 hours (one short day WFH and Friday off) and I will continue to do so while my son is in primary school. My quality of life would be so much worse without that time to myself.

Yanbu x 100 million!

If finances allow, I strongly recommend you have those two term time days to yourself to catch up with school work/housework and being a human.

Absolutely. I’m lucky that my husband very much appreciates how much easier it is when I’m part time, many take it for granted because they just don’t think about any of that stuff at all! My husband did a year or so of being the part time worker finishing early to pick up the kids so he knows what it’s like.

My own experience is that if you want a decent quality of life, you can't work all the hours your children are in school/nursery plus look after them the whole time they're not. You need a break. If you can afford it, keep your break.

You are right. A major benefit of working part time is that you get time alone to do whatever, even if its just catching up on chores. I worked 3 days for years. When my children were at part time nursery, I planned those free nursery times with military precision. When they went to school, I made sure that as far as possible, all personal appointments were on my free days, as were all their appointments, so I could take them without needing time off work etc.

Just be careful that your contract states that you get those periods off. DH does timetabling and he tries but sometimes the sets just don’t work…his school never make guarantees about which periods PT teachers get off (or FT ones for that matter) because year to year A level and GCSE set numbers fluctuate.

God no, don’t do it! You can always do supply for extra cash if needed.

I think she means e.g. work 0.6 with no lesson 1 and no lesson 5 every day (assuming 25 lessons a week) so she can do pickup and drop off. We had a few part timers do this at my school years ago but it’s not so common now partly, I suspect, because it’s a nightmare for timetabling.

Sorry - cross-posted with the OP!