To refuse to up my hours when my children are at school?

number of parents who work full time and have their children all holidays and have no one else who takes them is probably fairly small.

I disagree with this! Few people can afford to have time not working when children are in school. Its inefficient to have a day off and be paying an arm and leg in childcare other days. I only know one mum who has a day off work when the children are at school, and she earns a lot so brings home more in 4 days than most people do in 5. Most of the part time working mums i know do some combination of 4 or 4.5 days, spread so that they finish early and collect the kids 2 or 3 days, rather than having a full day off to themselves and using childcare other days.

Work as little as possible, your dh just isn't around.

When does your DH get time to himself? If you step up more hours will he have less pressure on himself financially? As the main (female) breadwinner I am exhausted and would love some time to myself!

I went up to 4 days after youngest started at preschool and got myself a cleaner four hours a week.

Main motivator for me was I love my job and I wanted a promotion, the cleaner was to counter the fact I used one of my non working days just to clean the house and actually my life has improved significantly now I’m not spending all that time cleaning and also I’m in a work setting earning money!

My Fridays will always be mine, but on the whole, four days is nice.

I haven't read all the posts but just to ask how exactly your dh plans to step up when you do more hours? With all due respect, you might be enjoying that time alone but I guarantee you are using a lot of it to do things like cleaning, shopping, meal prep just in your own time, without any additional demands on you. Who will be doing all thay once you swap to this mad dash all over all the time?

Never do 3 days over 5 or whatever. It doesn't feel like 3 days and everyone treats tou like a full timer who is leaving early.

My two are 6 and 10 and I've kept my Fridays. My DH has a chronic health condition that means I'm always the one up with them in the mornings, doing most of the chores. Fridays are my chance to balance that. And I assume as a teacher you'll end up doing prep on your 2 days off. If you don't need the money it's invaluable.

I am a teacher working 0.6 too with 3 kids who are all now in school. I haven't upped my hours for a few reasons.

-I don't want to pay for childcare before/after school and never be able to pick up and drop off my kids from school.

-Part time gives me flexibility as my HT happily allows me to swap days on occasion where possible so I can attend my children's school events etc.

-It gives me an opportunity to breathe and catch up on things at home.

-It gives me some time to myself which I feel like I need/deserve.

I work in quite a big school so regularly pick up extra days on supply for extra money but this is optional and I only do it when it suits me. If my HT is desperate at short notice she will let me come in 9.15-2.45 so I can till do school run for my kids.

I am not sure how your husband would expect you to still do school runs on any ways you work. Doesn't seem conducive to a teaching job.

@stayasiam most working parents get no time alone. This is everyone I know.

But if you can afford it, then 3 days a week certainly gives you more time alone, time to batch cook, clean, run errands, take dc to appointments etc.

It sounds like you have managed to identify your needs to be happy and protect your well being.

Genuinely I congratulate you, all around me are people running themselves into the ground, for what?

Life is for living and living as well as possible. I truly believe happy people make better parents and your mindset will rub off on your children, which is a better legacy than a few quid extra in thw bank.

@stayasiam I know you said he does long days but could your DH make changes to do some pick ups some times? Even if you don’t do extra days? And definitely keep your ‘sanity’ days … everyone needs a break!

Yanbu as you are doing equivalent of full time in any other job during term time.

I would explain that those two days at home are opportunity to spend time doing housework, life admin and work overspill. If you work 5 days you will still need to do those things and won't have time . Your dh would need to do more if you were to work full time.

This isn't about you getting a couple of days off. It's about work life balance for you both. If you have time in the week to do the house stuff it's less you and your dh have to do in a evening

I have worked 0.6 over 5 days.

As others have said, you get the worst of both worlds.

You get part time pay. People see you are in every day and expect full time work.
As a teacher there is also a lot of marking and preparation on top of that.

I used to get up at 6, do the morning routine with the kids, get them to school, go straight to my school, teach the short day (often no free lessons and only a 20 min break) then leave to go and get the kids. Do extra curriculars, homework dinner bath and bed and then sit down to marking and planning as my DH arrived home.

I also had to mark and plan and the weekend because I couldn't fit it all in in the week. DH said he would step up with cleaning shopping etc but didn't so we got a cleaner.

You can't attend any CPD or meetings unless you arrange childcare and parents evenings are a nightmare.

OP, I'm about to do what you are describing: stay teaching 3 days or 3 over 4 even though both DCs will be at school. DP is hoping that it'll allow me to not work in the evenings, do some pick ups and drop offs and do some training that will be helpful for future employment. It will hopefully also give me time to work on my health, which I've somewhat neglected since having kids.

3 days over 5 sounds like the worst of all worlds. No extra money, no time to discuss things with colleagues etc, and no time for yourself. Definitely discuss it with him.

What is it about then?

Him not wanting you to have any time to yourself?

I'm a lone mum, work full time, and it can be done. I've been doing it since ds was two without issue. It just takes a fair bit of organising.

I suppose it depends whether your household finances can cope with you working those hours longer term. If they can, then enjoy it. If they can't then you dh needs to get home earlier at least two days a week.

I reduced my ft hours to 3 days full days pt. It was great. My friend did 4 shorter days and she was complaining that she never got anytime to herself. 3 days is perfect.

I think spreading your hours out like that, unless you want them, is a mistake. On a surface level, people may know you work reduced hours, but because you're there 5 days a week, you will be seen as full time. There's risk they'll subconsciously expect you be as productive as a full timer. I've also worked part time with days that were spread out during the week, rather than working consecutive days, and it doesn't allow you to switch off in the same way. I felt like I was psychologically at work like full timer, just without the extra pay.

Surely there's no need to financially though because when the children start school youl be savings thousands on the childcare youl be paying for two.

My youngest starts school in Sept and I won't be increasing hours, currently 3 days. I do so much at home and I know this would still fall to me if I increased hours.