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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Re something teacher said to ds

133 replies

Mindovermatter247 · 26/04/2024 23:34

DS16 came home from school today in a weird mood, usually on Fridays he’s in a fantastic mood b3cause he hasn’t got school for the next 2 days. He started snapping at me, I asked what the problem was and he asked why we chose to go to Thorpe park this weekend when his GCSEs are soo close. (We are going this weekend) he’s not got his first exam for 2 weeks and I told him he can still have a life around his exams. I did and I did alright. Theme parks are his safe haven, he’s autistic and they are his obsession let alone his hobbie. I asked why he didn’t want to go, he told me he was talking to his friends about it and a teacher told him he shouldn’t be going out to places like that this close to his exams. I pressed him for the name of teacher and he said he can’t remember, he knows I will be calling school otherwise as they have made several monumental fuckups over the years and we have them by the balls, but in an attempt to calm DS down back whilst doing the mocks we asked that no teachers mention about how important they are as he was getting extremely stressed out to the point he was threatening not taking them at all among other things. He has an EChP plan, and we have just got him back to a better place where he’s not as aggressive, he’s working with us to better his studies, so he can prepare. Actually shown an interest in his actual real exams. Aibu to think teachers shouldn’t be telling kids what they can and can’t be doing outside of school. I feel like if teachers keep saying stuff like this too him they are going to undo months of work we as parents and the dedicated SEn support have put in to get home this far. DS hates lying, he’s very forwards and blunt so I’m inclined to believe a teacher has said it, he just refuses to tell me who.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 26/04/2024 23:46

I think advising kids to be at home revising in the weeks leading up to the exams is fairly standard in schools across the country tbf.

Obviously it wasn't ideal for this teacher to say it to your DS with his additional needs, but I think your reaction is insanely OTT. Perhaps if you were a little more relaxed your DS might follow suit. Him fearing telling you the truth because he knows you'll go off the deep end can't possibly be helping him.

cansu · 26/04/2024 23:46

The fact is that two weeks before exams is a time when kids should be revising. You have decided that it is better for your ds to ride rollercoasters. That is your perogative but to think about complaining about this is utterly ridiculous. How dare a teacher suggest students study before exams! Autistic or not kids need to study. It sounds more like you are offended as you think it casts aspersions on you and your attitude to your son's education.

Fairydustandsparklylights · 26/04/2024 23:43

I’m embarrassed for you right now. Your poor child can’t even be honest and tell you who said it as he knows that you will humiliate him with your ridiculous reaction. He also realises that he can’t trust you to act appropriately and with respect to other human beings.

The teacher shouldn’t have said anything… but exams are starting in 10 days. He needs to be revising on the weekends and not going to theme parks.

TwattyMcFuckFace · 26/04/2024 23:42

It's a shame he's afraid to be honest with you for fear of you calling the school.

I kept a lot of secrets from my parents due to this sort of thing, when all I wanted to do sometimes was open up, talk and have that be the end of it.

stripycats · 26/04/2024 23:42

we have them by the balls,

Delightful.

whilst doing the mocks we asked that no teachers mention about how important they are

How does that work when he is in classes with others who do need to be told how important the exams are?

MultiplaLight · 26/04/2024 23:41

Chill out and enjoy Thorpe Park.

MyGooseisTotallyLoose · 26/04/2024 23:39

So 'someone' said something but he can't remember who.... and you're planning on complaining or something because 'you have them by the balls' 🙄 so seem to think they should be in thrall to you?

Mumoftwo1312 · 26/04/2024 23:38

I think yanbu that a teacher shouldn't be telling him he can't have fun and relax on the weekend. Downtime is important. I say that as a teacher and a mum. So yanbu overall imo.

But yabvu to be chomping at the bit to find out which teacher is it and complain. "Who told you that son? Who?!" And your poor son pretends he can't remember because he doesn't want the drama. Just back off, take him to Thorpe Park. He needs calm, fun, and downtime, not angry drama

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