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Original poster

Grandparent leaving DS 4 alone in car

36 replies

Amalfisunet · 26/04/2024 22:50

DS4 has started asking to be left in the car if I need to go to a shop, I have always made it very clear that won’t be happening for a very long time. He asked again today and I wondered where this was coming from so asked if any of his safe grown ups leave him alone in the car? He hesitated then said yes. After more questions it appears my DF has left him and his dog (a very well natured one but think this just adds another level to how unsafe this feels) while he nips into the “shop where he gets cereal”.

My gut response is this is seriously unsafe on many levels, DH agrees.
Would anyone actually be ok with this? How do I approach this without it leading to a “don’t tell mummy” situation?

OP posts:
Universalsnail · 27/04/2024 11:41

The dog makes it a no but if the car is parked just outside the shop and he's literally nipping in to get cereal and the child doesn't have access to food I think the leaving then in the car thing isn't so bad. My dad would leave us in the car as kids. I think we are ott about stuff like this now.

mondaytosunday · 27/04/2024 11:38

Nope. You NEVER leave a small child (and one presumably strapped in) alone with a dog, I don't care how gentle. I wouldn't let a 4 year old alone in the car full stop. At that age they could get out.

Original poster
Amalfisunet · 27/04/2024 11:17

Thank you, appreciate the perspectives!

OP posts:
TheBurdenIsMine · 26/04/2024 23:33

We had the same scenario, DS was about 3/4 and asked to stay in the car when i nipped in the shop, i said no and he replied well great grandad does.

I wasnt angry and i know 100% hed never intentionally put my son in danger but I rang my nan to tell her DS had dropped my grandad in it and she promptly bollucked him and told him never to do it again and he didnt.

HampdenRadius · 26/04/2024 23:27

I wouldn’t do it myself, and if a grandparent was doing this, I’d probably ask them not to. That said, I don’t really see it as a big deal, if the car is locked, parked outside the shop in sight, and it is literally nipping in and out.

Neodymium · 26/04/2024 23:23

double post

Neodymium · 26/04/2024 23:23

In Australia leaving a child in a car unattended for any length of time is actually illegal. Children can die in a hot car very quickly even when it is cold outside if the car is in the sun.

I used to leave my kids in the car to pay for petrol but that was it. If kids are left in a car to drop others to childcare, the police would be called. I am only just now comfortable leaving my kids (15, 13 and 10) alone while I go to the shops to grab something. But if it was just the 10 year old, no I wouldn’t, I’d make her come with me.

Doingmybest12 · 26/04/2024 23:19

No, I wouldn't be happy about this. There is no need for it.

CelesteCunningham · 26/04/2024 23:19

The dog makes it not ok IMO.

I've been leaving DD in the car from that age while I drop DC2 into nursery, as do many other parents. Only if I get parked right across the road. She's reliably well behaved, knows she's to do nothing, and there's plenty of other people we know coming and going.

With that in mind, if it's a small local shop, the car is in view of grandad the whole time etc then I'd be ok with it but not if the 4yo would actually be properly alone and unsupervised.

But the dog makes it automatically not ok.

cheeseandketchupsandwich · 26/04/2024 23:02

He's leaving a child alone in a small space with a dog.

I wouldn't be ok with this, no matter how quickly he gets back nor how well natured the dog.

Maryamlouise · 26/04/2024 23:00

I generally worry a lot about stuff with DC but am surprisingly OK with doing this myself. Though not sure I want others to as I wouldn't know how long they actually are. I nip in very quickly at local shop which is quiet and I can see car. I don't think it matters though if others are ok with that if it is something you are not comfortable with then say something to your DF and ask him not to do it. If you think he won't respect stuff then I guess don't leave DS with him. I very rarely leave DC with my DF as him and DSM don't listen to what me and DP say and think they know best