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Original poster

Another inheritance one

59 replies

Blacktoback · 26/04/2024 20:38

My Late Father passed away last April following a year long illness of cancer with brain metastases.
There is my Sister (A) and my half brother (B) and sister (C)
My Father really struggled with his illness, enduring chemotherapy and immunotherapy as well as surgical intervention. For the last part of his life he was confined to his bed, drank Whiskey and suffered personality changing UTI’s. Understandably he would get frustrated and angry over the smallest of things. During the late stages he would fall out with the four walls without any effort.
One day my Sister (A) went to visit him. He asked ‘A’ to action a deed on one of his properties (A is a solicitor working in commercial litigation). ‘A’ explained that she wasn’t an executor of the will or a POA therefore she wasn’t able to action this for him. An argument ensued and my Father threatened to cut ‘A’ out of the will. ‘A’ was then cut out of the will. 10 days then went by of my Father crying saying ‘it’s too late now’ and ‘I’ve made the biggest mistake’. ‘A’ was never put back in to the will.
The residual of the estate is left to me, ‘B’ and ‘C’.
‘B’ has a clause in the will where he is not able to access the money until he’s 30 due to issues surrounding recreation drug abuse.
‘C’ has access when she turns 21 which is 2 years away.
I have always maintained that I would half my share with my full sister ‘A’. However, as time goes by I am starting to feel slightly resentful. I know mortally it’s 100% the right decision to make, but I cannot ignore that she earns 3x my salary and a desirable property (which is mortgaged). I work in the NHS, I have a degree and I am advancing in my job field. There are no talks of spliting the residual 4 ways from my 2 other siblings.
Am I bitter in unreasonably thinking she would automatically earn the inheritance sum within 4 years due to the salary difference when it could be a really life changing sun to me?

OP posts:
Original poster
Blacktoback · 26/04/2024 22:16

Shiveringinthecountry · 26/04/2024 22:07

@Blacktoback

Final will was read following his funeral.
I’m not understanding you on the term of bidding?

It's just an expression that means she couldn't do what he asked her to do.

Legally she was not able to make action on a property in his name as she was not an executor of the will, nor did she have POA. She was legally unable to act in my Dad’s name without being in either one of these positions.

OP posts:
Shiveringinthecountry · 26/04/2024 22:07

@Blacktoback

Final will was read following his funeral.
I’m not understanding you on the term of bidding?

It's just an expression that means she couldn't do what he asked her to do.

Eyesopenwideawake · 26/04/2024 22:06

If she happened to earn less than you, would you give her a larger portion?

Wotcher · 26/04/2024 22:03

A should have challenged the will. As his daughter she’d have been within her right, and given the circumstances may well have succeeded.

Anameisaname · 26/04/2024 22:02

Blacktoback · 26/04/2024 21:54

Apologies if I didn’t make it clear, it would have been the most ideal scenario having it split 4 ways, unfortunately that wasn’t the case. There has been small talk of what my other two siblings plan on doing and it doesn’t include giving ‘A’ a share. My intention was to go 50% with ‘A’ on what I received.

Show quote history

I don't think you splitting your share 50 50 with your dsis is fair.
That is not what your Dad wanted or intended. Basically you both get less as a result.
So give her the portion from your share which is due to her and your half siblings can do the same so you each end up with 25pc. So that means if you got 33pc then you give her 8pc which brings you down to 25pc.
If they don't do that, then that's on them. But you shouldn't try to over compensate for them or for your father's mistake.

Original poster
Blacktoback · 26/04/2024 22:00

Shiveringinthecountry · 26/04/2024 21:53

@Blacktoback

From your OP.

One day my Sister (A) went to visit him. He asked ‘A’ to action a deed on one of his properties (A is a solicitor working in commercial litigation). ‘A’ explained that she wasn’t an executor of the will or a POA therefore she wasn’t able to action this for him. An argument ensued and my Father threatened to cut ‘A’ out of the will. ‘A’ was then cut out of the will. 10 days then went by of my Father crying saying ‘it’s too late now’ and ‘I’ve made the biggest mistake’. ‘A’ was never put back in to the will.

So, and as I said, you and your siblings know your sister was cut out of the will because she wasn't able to do your father's bidding in relation to changing his will.

You asked for opinions and I've given mine. It comes from the heart because unfortunately I've had experience as a lawyer of this kind of thing. If you don't want honest answers about whether or not you've been unreasonable then I suggest you don't ask for opinions on AIBU. Some of us will tell you what we really think.

Final will was read following his funeral.
I’m not understanding you on the term of bidding?

OP posts:
PhuckyNell · 26/04/2024 21:58

On the face of it I'd give half. Because I would feel in my heart it's the right thing to do and I would hate myself otherwise.

PhuckyNell · 26/04/2024 21:56

How much we talking?

Original poster
Blacktoback · 26/04/2024 21:54

MILLYmo0se · 26/04/2024 21:47

So if your dad had left the money split between the 4 of you you would have been fine with that, despite A earning more etc? But because you dad had a hissy fit essentially (through no fault of his own, he was ill) over something ridiculous which you KNOW he regretted there's now an issue with giving her the share of your share she should have gotten (you don't need to give her half, that's silly). B and C will do the right thing too - even if they have to be shamed into it by you doing it first or they won't, that's not your problem.

Apologies if I didn’t make it clear, it would have been the most ideal scenario having it split 4 ways, unfortunately that wasn’t the case. There has been small talk of what my other two siblings plan on doing and it doesn’t include giving ‘A’ a share. My intention was to go 50% with ‘A’ on what I received.

OP posts:
Shiveringinthecountry · 26/04/2024 21:53

@Blacktoback

From your OP.

One day my Sister (A) went to visit him. He asked ‘A’ to action a deed on one of his properties (A is a solicitor working in commercial litigation). ‘A’ explained that she wasn’t an executor of the will or a POA therefore she wasn’t able to action this for him. An argument ensued and my Father threatened to cut ‘A’ out of the will. ‘A’ was then cut out of the will. 10 days then went by of my Father crying saying ‘it’s too late now’ and ‘I’ve made the biggest mistake’. ‘A’ was never put back in to the will.

So, and as I said, you and your siblings know your sister was cut out of the will because she wasn't able to do your father's bidding in relation to changing his will.

You asked for opinions and I've given mine. It comes from the heart because unfortunately I've had experience as a lawyer of this kind of thing. If you don't want honest answers about whether or not you've been unreasonable then I suggest you don't ask for opinions on AIBU. Some of us will tell you what we really think.

TheLongWay · 26/04/2024 21:52

Ideally, it should be 4 ways, as originally intended. However, if your half siblings aren't willing to share, then the right thing for you to do is share with your sister.

How much she earns is totally irrelevant. It's not right that she should receive nothing.

Original poster
Blacktoback · 26/04/2024 21:51

Charlingspont · 26/04/2024 21:39

Well you can either keep all the money, or lose your sister. You choose.

I’m choosing my Sister. I feel really good points have been raised and I’m really appreciative of the replies. Not including my Sister was never a thought, it was more over what is fair. Thanking those who have got me out of the salary earning tunnel thought process.

OP posts:
MILLYmo0se · 26/04/2024 21:47

So if your dad had left the money split between the 4 of you you would have been fine with that, despite A earning more etc? But because you dad had a hissy fit essentially (through no fault of his own, he was ill) over something ridiculous which you KNOW he regretted there's now an issue with giving her the share of your share she should have gotten (you don't need to give her half, that's silly). B and C will do the right thing too - even if they have to be shamed into it by you doing it first or they won't, that's not your problem.

Original poster
Blacktoback · 26/04/2024 21:47

Shiveringinthecountry · 26/04/2024 21:37

Her earnings etc have absolutely nothing to do with anything.

You made it clear in your original post that things were going to be split equally until your father cut her out because she wasn't able to do his bidding in relation to changing his will. You and your siblings all know what happened, and why. Why on earth would you not just put it right voluntarily?

I worked as a lawyer for a long time, and was thoroughly shocked and disgusted by the way people will behave over family money. Your post is a perfect example of what I found so shocking and disgusting.

Edited for typo.

Edited
Show quote history

If you worked as a lawyer for years then you would be aware that my Sister was not involved in ‘bidding’ for his will or assisting with it. And if you had read my post then you’d be understanding that I am prepared to be more than fair with the shit show that had occurred. I’m just gaining opinions on what other people see as fair and whether my disgruntled feelings are valid. So far, people have offered suggestions which seem hopeful. Whereas you’ve provided me with a shite excuse for leaving your job.

OP posts:
Hotgirlwinter · 26/04/2024 21:46

I don’t think you need to split yours down the middle necessarily, I would be speaking to siblings to arrange the full amount to be split equally amongst the 4.

You know that your dad wanted her to included and if you’re considering cutting her out completely then that is unforgivable for me. It is not “your” money and what she earns or doesn’t earn is irrelevant. Give her the appropriate sum from yours in line with your share of the 1/4th.

Dacadactyl · 26/04/2024 21:44

MabelTheCow · 26/04/2024 21:31

Ask for a deed of variation by the executors and split the inheritance 4 ways again.

This is only fair and what I'd be fighting for in your shoes.

Don't let your dad's legacy be one of bitterness and family fall outs, for any of you.

Cakefor1 · 26/04/2024 21:43

Give her 25%.

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 26/04/2024 21:41

I would give her a quarter as that leaves you with what you would have received if she had been included.

What the other siblings do is up to them.

Charlingspont · 26/04/2024 21:39

Well you can either keep all the money, or lose your sister. You choose.

Shiveringinthecountry · 26/04/2024 21:37

Blacktoback · 26/04/2024 21:25

I really appreciate all of your replies.
2 caveats we’re placed whilst we gained medical records to see if we could question his capacity at the time of the will. These records demonstrate that his capacity was not questioned. There is no way of us reverting back to the old will, he made 9 in total.
I said from the beginning I would split it with her, this was mainly from shock and wanting to do the right thing. But now I’m dissecting it with allowance to the big difference in our earnings and job prospects it’s just making me feel bitter.
In regards to my other siblings, neither party have been in contact with each other since late last year. I am in contact with all 3.

Her earnings etc have absolutely nothing to do with anything.

You made it clear in your original post that things were going to be split equally until your father cut her out because she wasn't able to do his bidding in relation to changing his will. You and your siblings all know what happened, and why. Why on earth would you not just put it right voluntarily?

I worked as a lawyer for a long time, and was thoroughly shocked and disgusted by the way people will behave over family money. Your post is a perfect example of what I found so shocking and disgusting.

Edited for typo.

KarmenPQZ · 26/04/2024 21:36

Sparklfairy · 26/04/2024 21:34

Your sister's earnings aren't really relevant. I would give her 1/3 of what would be her share out of 'mine' because if your father hadn't changed his will that's what you would have got anyway. You're not missing out that way. The other two can make their own choices, hopefully the right one.

Isn’t not a quarter? Each sibling should give cut out sibling a quarter so everyone gets 3 quarters of a third. Which is the same as a quarter of the whole.

Spirallingdownwards · 26/04/2024 21:36

You know its morally right to have the will varied to give you all 25% rather than 3 of you have 33%. If the others want agree to a deed of variation then give her the quiescent of 8% of the whole from your share so around 1/4 of what you get.

It would be a shame to end up destroying you relationship with your sister over money when she was just doing the right thing.

Sparklfairy · 26/04/2024 21:34

Your sister's earnings aren't really relevant. I would give her 1/3 of what would be her share out of 'mine' because if your father hadn't changed his will that's what you would have got anyway. You're not missing out that way. The other two can make their own choices, hopefully the right one.

Shiveringinthecountry · 26/04/2024 21:32

This is terrible for A. If the rest of you are decent people you will all voluntarily have the estate split 4 ways. If not then IMO you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

MabelTheCow · 26/04/2024 21:31

Ask for a deed of variation by the executors and split the inheritance 4 ways again.

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