MIL coming to stay with added extra

Well done.You have done the best for you and your baby by getting out of a stressful situation and also showing your DP and his mother you won’t be walked over.That puts the ground work in place for future.
Now just relax.

How soon after birth can you apply for a passport, to make sure they don't?!

To push you put of your home and invade your bedroom, invite strangers into your space during your nesting period is appalling. If I showed up to visit someone and found out they were so upset by my visit that they'd left their own home I'd feel so guilty and ashamed, I wouldn't take the opportunity to have a bloody parry in their house.

However, the MIL may think she and her friends are welcome -because her son has told her so!

I would love to have been a fly on th wall when MIL arrived to find you gone @Babycatsmummy
Well done for showing that you meant what you said.

I am in awe. You will be the most magnificent mother to your child. Wishing you a safe and calm delivery and sincerely hope that your MIL buggers off back to Italy without seeing you or your beautiful baby.

as for your DP that’s a conundrum for another day.

It’s good you have such a supportive friend when the father doesn’t understand his priorities.

All the best wishes for the birth of your baby. I’d consider as well not putting the biological father’s name on the birth certificate so that his mother doesn’t get grip on your baby. He has not acted in support of your child and this doesn’t bode well for the future imho. I don’t know the legal aspect of this though. Get advice on housing and also if you rent the flat kicking these losers out of your place. If you rent jointly then give notice on your part of the rental contract and utilities. Your birthing partner sounds a good person. I’m grateful that they are there for you and your baby.

DP informed me she is using our flat as a meeting point for her friends also and they are all coming over this evening for dinner so I just told him to enjoy himself because I most definitely am!

There’s a difference between ‘cultural differences’ and monumentally bad manners. I do hope the MIL gets to know exactly WHY the OP is missing

Well done in standing up for yourself! That takes guts. What's really staggering though is that, knowing what her behaviour has triggered, MIL hasn't gathered herself and her friend and her belongings and decamped to a friend/relative's house or a hotel to give you the space you've asked for. She really doesn't give a shit does she! To echo PP, I would definitely be making sure your maternity team is aware she is not allowed anywhere near you while giving birth. And you mustn't blame yourself if your DP misses it either - he has 100% brought this on himself.

What a wonderful strong woman you are OP.Delighted to read your updates.

Your MIL sounds an utter nightmare,cannot believe how selfish she is! Surely she should move to a hotel now,seeing the upset she is causing.

I lived In Italy for years,with an English husband,some of my friends with Italian MIL’s would tell amazing stories about them! Yours fits in nicely with those.

Good luck with the birth of your baby.

How bloody amazing you are! And what a wonderful birthing partner you have.

I'm sure he's thoroughly enjoying being the sole host of his mother and all her friends! I can't believe any mother would treat another mothers home like this during such a time. We're supposed to look after eachother especially when we know what you're going through.

To push you put of your home and invade your bedroom, invite strangers into your space during your nesting period is appalling. If I showed up to visit someone and found out they were so upset by my visit that they'd left their own home I'd feel so guilty and ashamed, I wouldn't take the opportunity to have a bloody parry in their house.

You've shown him he can't treat you like this. Now either he steps up and sorts his shit out or you're better off without him. Imagine him telling this story to his pals trying to garner sympathy "I invited my mother to stay with us for 3 months when my girlfriend was due to give birth, despite her asking me not to. She invited her friend, when I refused to tell her she couldn't invite people to stay in our home my girlfriend left to stay elsewhere. I even asked her to come back but she refused becuase my mum had decided to invite more friends round to our house and I still wouldn't kick any of them out. So now my girlfriend is staying at her friend's house waiting to give birth without me and I'm having to host my mum and all her friends when I had planned to go out and my heavily pregnant girlfriend host them" oh boohoo!

Well done for standing up for yourself! Wishing you the smoothest possible labour and birth, and wonderful baby cuddles.

I can't imagine the kind of mentality that thinks turning a heavily pregnant woman's 2 bed flat into your own personal hosting/party space, days before she goes into labour is appropriate. The fact that she's continued and your partner has done nothing even after you've left speaks volumes. What an actual witch.

I'm so pleased you're somewhere safe and your BP has your back.

Courage OP and stay strong. Well done for putting yourself - and your baby - first. Everything will work out in the long run and on your terms! All the best for the birth.

Huge well done for going and I’m glad you can recognise you feel better out of there. I’d sadly think if he hasn’t kicked his mum out by now, and is letting her go through your bedroom and invite friends over in your absence, then he’s not going to change. It’s not like she has no where to go. Ask them to leave the flat or if you know when he’s at work go and get everything you need. The car seat/pram etc and baby clothes and anything you need: if not send your lovely friend.

Well done op! Good luck over the coming day, just put you and bubs first xx

Just wanted to add another "well done" to the list, and wish you and the new baby all the best.

So glad you have this lovely friend in your life and that you've taken control. You're going to be a great mum!

One of my dear friends is Italian. She would not accept this. In any case culture does not trump the feelings of a pregnant mother about her own home. I'm so glad you've put your foot down!

Well done @Babycatsmummy you have shown great strength and determination. Don’t back down and the v best of luck with the birth.🤞🏻

I hope you're doing OK OP. Well done for having the strength to put yourself, your health and your baby first. Your "D"P should be ashamed of himself - in his 30s and can't stand up to Mummy? How embarrassing for him.

I have
t read the other replies but you need to put your foot down NOW.

“No MIL, you bringing your friend doesn’t work
for me. Yes I know she’s your friend but I don’t know her. She can’t come and stay.”

Nip this in the bud.

Never mind has Op's partner read a pregnancy book-have you read the Op's posts??

It's probably for the best that it has happened now rather than you being miserable at home with her holding court & also worrying about drama at the hospital.

Your not MIL is (imo) very, very rude for coming when you didn't want her to & bringing a friend unasked.

That was the point at which she should obviously have booked herself a hotel without needing to be told/asked.

Pack a suitcase and go back to your parents for a while. You need calm, safety and comfort. You matter!