MIL coming to stay with added extra

Honestly, I don't think I could come back from this lack of respect. I would be seriously limiting the amount of time MIL gets with the baby. Actions have consequences.

Please think long and hard about not putting his name on the Birth Certificate as I think you will be having an uphill struggle from now on with your partner and his entitled mother!!!!!

He's hoping that nonna will look after him.

Go to your Mum's and be pampered.

Spot on! Just shows how utterly despicable he is, causing the mother of his child to be forced out her own home at a time like this.
That poor OP.
Imagine not being able to have peace in your own home to have a baby. And the support of your partner..💔💔💔💔

If this is what he's like and allows his mother to do to you and your mental health/privacy of your own home/care of your own body during your first pregnancy....imagine what a future of DP and her would hold😳 gulp.
I'm so glad to have ur birthing partner and friend. All the best with ur baby. Xxxxx

Well done, OP. That can't have been easy. You have done the right thing and the only thing you could have done.

I am keeping my fingers crossed for a drama-free delivery and its reward, a lovely baby in your arms.

Three cheers for your birthing partner too!

OP I was so relieved when I read the update that you’d gone to stay with your friend. Thank goodness you have somewhere safe and comfortable to be and someone who’s truly got your back to be with. There are going to be some tough decisions to be made at some point, but for now just focus on yourself and your baby.

It sounds as if your DP and his mother very have a complicated and dysfunctional relationship. Reading your update (the bit about her going through your things and inviting her friends over to host them in your flat) makes me wonder if being there for the baby is actually her main agenda after all. She arrived to find you had moved out and instead of showing any kind of concern for you/the baby/ the difficult situation she had caused, she made herself comfortable and invited her mates over. She seems quite happy taking over your space, maybe keeping her son firmly attached to her apron strings at a time when he should be focusing on his new little family unit is why she’s really here.

For now just focus on looking after yourself and your baby. Keeping everything crossed that the birth goes smoothly things work out for you.

Thank goodness you got away. Hopefully he'll grow a pair?

I'm actually a little blown away by your strength OP! I think you've done exactly the right thing, even though this whole situation must be so hard.

I can't believe your MIL thought it was ok to stay with you when you have a new baby in a 2 bed flat! Let alone being someone with her!!
I hope all is well with you and your birth, unfortunately I cannot imagine your partner will ever see you as a priority, and your MIL is itching to take over with the baby.

You are a freaking rockstar OP. So impressed with you. Your partner is extremely unreasonable, i hope he finds his mind and balls, if not missing the birth of his child is on him. . Keep breathing . We are rooting for you

OP I just wanted to drop in and give you an enormous cheer.

Don't worry about whether or not he's there for the birth. If he isn't it's entirely because of the decisions he's made, so enjoy your time with the little one and leave him to his mummy.

You've always known where his priorities lie, but this has blown them right out of the woodwork. I don't know if you can come back from it, or if you would want to.

Disgusting that she is invading your personal space especially your bedroom. Who does that

Yanbu. That be my idea of hell and tbh it's vvvvv rude of someone to do that.

'Turns out she's pretty much already taken over... I have a ring camera and could see she had my bedroom apart cleaning everything and I had to disconnect myself from it as I could feel myself boiling.

DP informed me she is using our flat as a meeting point for her friends also and they are all coming over this evening for dinner so I just told him to enjoy himself because I most definitely am! '

I would end it immediately with him. How dare he let her go through your bedroom, personal belongings etc

As for inviting her friends round, well that's downright disgusting and shows what an utter drip and wet wipe of a partner he is.

This has crossed all lines of reasonable behaviour.

My DH and I both said something to both SIL and MIL at the time. SIL’s DH agreed with us and told them both those pictures needed to be removed from the book and never shown to anyone, especially their son. I don’t know what they did with the book for a while because we don’t live anywhere near them and we limit visits. Nephew ended up with the book after SIL’s DH passed away. Those pictures are still in the book as of our last visit about a year ago.

This is a drop in the bucket of the problematic behaviors of my in-laws. We try to mind our business and live our lives with as little contact with them as possible. We keep a line of communication with nephew with the hope that if he ever needs us, he will reach out. Nephew and I text about books he is reading (he is unschooled and very isolated) and I encourage him towards material that represents healthy families with good boundaries.

You’re doing a great job of advocating for yourself and setting boundaries op. I hope your partner reflects on his actions and priorities and acts accordingly. If he doesn’t then he has made your next steps very easy. Wishing you a lovely birth experience.

Brilliant OP, when you are having a baby and when baby is young...you and your comfort come first. Your partner just needs to realise that, I hope he works it out. You are not unreasonable in any way. Good luck with the birth.

Best of luck with the birth OP, and big 👏👏👏 to your birthing partner they are a rock star.

I cannot believe DP and his mother are so shameless are forcing a heavily pregnant woman out of her own home.

Hi OP, been following your thread since the start. I am also due any day now and was utterly gobsmacked at what your 'D' P and MIL are putting you through at such a time!!!!

I just read your update and cheered out loud! Just to echo what PPs have said - you are an absolute HERO, well done for staying so strong, what a bloody brilliant role model you are for your little one. Good luck, will be thinking of you over the coming weeks xxx

Wow, huge well done for following through and leaving the pair of them to it! Best of luck with the birth

can you stay at the birthing partner for a while whilst you figure things out? Mil/friend and DP are completely out of order. Your DP has made clear where his priorities are - it's not you and that baby otherwise he would have arranged for Mil to leave. My ex was a Mediterranean man with a dominant mum. I can assure you that once the baby is born, it all gets worse. It was a real trigger point in our relationship. At least he has shown who he really is. I would plan the future without him. Men like him are not able to change. The need to please their mums is too deeply engrained on their DNA.

Well done op for standing up for yourself.
Let's wait until mil gets her party over and see what happens when they realise what they missed. She'll look crazy when her friends ask her so where's the grandchild you came here for... Definitely right decision on not informing dp about the birth. This all sounds ridiculous and I would not blame it all on culture but just blantant personality disorder of mil and mummy issues at dp. Was he traumatised as a kid? (oh yes , read it now he has grown separated from his mum, so psychological issues here, there you go)
My Italian mil would not even dream of this type of behaviour. She'd talk about her own evil mil and had taken vows to behave differently to her daughter in law. She did and I absolutely love her. She does comment on my house which makes me mad though :D but you just deal with it, joke, tell her she's crazy, or ignore it... Anyway, wishing you all the best, it will be ok..

@RampantIvy maybe she doesn't realise yet? It seams like she is cleaning etc

Op good luck!!

It's amazing you have been able to escape to this sanctuary and well done birthing partner.
I'm amazed mil hadn't been at fhe door yet wondering what's going on.

Be completely open and honest with mil if you see her, that you were not happy and that's that.
Baby and mum come first.