MIL coming to stay with added extra

I think your family is raising concerns because they are on the outside looking in, seeing how you are being treated and knowing that this is beyond fucked up.
Pack your things, call your family, get them to come and pick you up and stay there… at the very least till MIL has gone home but I hope once you’re out of this situation you can reevaluate whether this relationship is really what you want for your future.
Your ‘DP’ is weak and doesn’t prioritise you, your relationship or your baby. If he can’t be there for you when you are at your most vulnerable, genuinely, what is the point of being in a relationship with him?

I would also move out at least temporarily. You need somewhere that feels safe and you can bond with baby and recover.

I think your DP needs to decide where his priorities are and if that’s not you and the baby then you need to decide if you can put up with this behaviour. Can you go and see your family this weekend and talk things through with your friend?

If he won’t look after you when you need it most then how much does he really care. Not stopping his mother coming to the hospital just makes him more of a coward.

I think you need to stand up for yourself firmly and insist if MIL stays in the house you won’t be.

If your husband wants to be a good father, he needs to understand the baby's interests and your interests are the same thing in the early days.

It is not in the baby's interests to be in an overcrowded household with a stressed out Mother who is uncomfortable with living with strangers.

Ask him what's more important, being a good father or being a good son? If he says the latter just go to your Mum's.

I too think you should go stay with your family, leaving asap with no return plan. Tell your dp he would obviously rather live with his mum and it’s more important to him his mum be happy than his wife giving birth to his baby so they can all fuck off.tell
him if he had penis cancer and it was huge and tender and he could only walk around in jocks inviting your mum to stay would be a shitty thing for you to do but here he is not giving a shit how you feel.

Omg this is horrible. I definitely agree with staying elsewhere. You have an OH problem not just mil.

Time for a heart to heart with your own family. Tell them exactly how you feel about your wet selfish mamma's boy partner completely bulldozing over your feelings in favour of his mother and a complete stranger. This is a time for privacy and healing and bonding as a new family. Not for too many people in a too small flat.

Please ask them your doctor and midwife etc to intervene for you. You should not have to be fighting a battle.

If this happen as he wants, it will set the tone for years to come.

A “cultural difference” where the heavily pregnant woman’s wishes get completely ignored.

put your foot down and tell him explicitly that the extra guest is not welcome and will not be admitted. You should have been more forceful about his mother’s visit but that moment has passed.

Holy shit, you have some terrible people in your life. You’re about to have a baby. You feel vulnerable. MIL announcing she’s coming to stay for three months to mark her territory is NOT okay. Bringing her friend, also NOT okay. Your husband is a coward and needs to tell MIL she and her buddy are staying in an air bnb and she is absolutely NOT staying with you when you come home from hospital - nor should she be fantasizing about being allowed in with you while you give birth. If he doesn’t, you’re going to have to - forget what he and anyone else may say or think about you, you are not going to have a chance to establish breast feeding or bond with your baby with these vultures around. Also, what kind of help are your family? Can you go directly to them from the hospital if MIL still hanging about? Speak to your midwife about what’s going on. This is ridiculous.

its cultural . You both need to learn to give in a bit . I wouldn’t change anything for mil or guest . They are adults perfectly fine to take care of themselves. In fact let them take care of you .

How about moving your birthing partner or your own mum into your spare room first? Tell “dh” that you need your mother / birthing partner more than your mil, so it’s only fair.
get mum to come now and tell him she’s staying for3 months ?

This
absolutely insist staff keep mil and any of her hanger ones out of the ward and birthing rooms

athis has nowt to do with him frankly.

you cannot have a house guest in a2 bed flat for 3 months with a new baby and post partum.wtf. He is not supportive. I’d be questioning the whole fecking relationship with a husband that agreed to that.

One more thing. This matters because if you don’t set your boundaries, your next 20 years will be a nightmare.

Tell the midwife team who you want and don’t want near you when in hospital

You don’t have to flounce. I’d calmly explain that I am unable to live with this and that I am moving in with my family for a few weeks. Tell him you’ll be back when the baby is a few weeks old and he’s welcome to visit you.

Pregnancy and labour is really stressful. It’s goes how you want it.

Your MIL and DP are being so thoughtless and selfish. This is the point where dp should be prioritising you and you alone. I can’t think of anything worse than having anyone stay with us at the end of my pregnancy/just after birth, let alone with them bringing a random along with them!

Id leave do to deal with them and go to a family’s/friends house to relax while your DP gets his priorities right

In light of the new information, please go and stay with your family for the period of the birth and immediate recovery. She sounds like a nightmare and both she and him are self absorbed and selfish to do this to you and your baby as you adjust to a new chapter in your life. She's had her day, it's your turn now and you should be captain of your own ship. Please stand strong, know that you are not the one in the wrong and so many women on here wish you well and that you find your voice to speak up to put an end to this madness. Good luck and be with your family, they sound lovely.

Fuck that. I'd piss off and leave him to entertain them. @Babycatsmummy are you happy in this relationship? It seems like your opinion, wants and needs font really matter. You're about to have his baby but you and your wellbeing doesn't seem like it's a priority. Your husband is a entirely the problem.

I couldn’t contemplate accepting this and would move out.

It’s not a cultural thing. Your own mother staying over after the birth is - not his, in many/most countries, so no need to fall for this unless you want her help. Her friend cannot stay, you are about to have a baby, this is not their entertainment show.

Fuck that for a tube of Smarties,I'd go and stay somewhere else until they piss off.

Hell no to MIL staying let alone her friend! I’m sorry your Dp isn’t on board with this. Tell him in no uncertain terms all hosting is on him, you are not doing any making tea or cooking or cleaning. But I would not want this in the first place. You need to sit and bond and sit half naked on the sofa

You and your husband are obviously very culturally different. Has that ever become apparent before now?

This is your time to bond with your baby. You appear to have been railroaded by your dh and his mother. The friend is the icing on the pisstaking cake.
I would be concerned that mil turning up is going to be too stressful and I would put my foot down and tell dh they are not staying. You should not be forced out of your own home - this is a time of joy for goodness sake. Tell them they have to stay in a hotel or Airbnb. If dh says no - sack him off and go to your mums. Warn her in advance and have a bag there in case you need to go there from the hospital. All the best for your birth.

Taking the piss. I would not want this and tbh id say sorry cancel. This isn’t some fucking jolly, your having a baby. You want to look like shit and not have visitors. Fuck that no