Stop homeschooling your children.

YANBU my parents ‘home schooled’ me for a couple of years. Neither of them had any education. The home schooling books just sat in a corner gathering dust - there was no learning. I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who put a lot of effort into home schooling (and are not lazy and neglectful parents like mine were) but due to my experience I can't support home schooling unless absolutely necessary.

I think it’s very judgemental to say that because a parent has spelt a word incorrectly on a forum they aren’t capable of offering a suitable education. A suitable education is very subjective and as we all know there are many children who are let down by the system. In fact, the parents who are making the spelling mistakes were more than likely educated in a school themselves.

Children can thrive and also be disadvantaged in either lifestyle.

We home Ed our two (I am an ex primary teacher myself) and largely the families we have met are wonderful! Obviously I don’t see what’s going on behind closed doors 24/7 but many are making a huge effort.

What does irritate me a little is home educators who have been doing it for a few months and suddenly become ‘experts’ giving advice on instagram and making E courses! 😂

YABU. Given the poor education and lack of actual skills schools currently give I would recommend anyone with children carefully consider if school is the right place. It's rote learning for exam passes. It's not education at all. The world is changing. It doesn't want people who believe the wrong trousers are a punishable offence nor that being with 400 kids (per year) based solely on their age will provide the strong friend bases we are led to believe. Employers want thinkers, doers. Not sit and obey zombies

They generally do have a say- my ds knows what school was like, and knows he could go back whenever he wanted to.

Lots of EHE children have been to school and left because it wasn’t good for them. I don’t know any EHE parents who would say no to a child wanting to go to school (apart from the extremely religious ones but they are a law unto themselves).

I think some people probably do it for the wrong reasons but others very much do if out of the desire to do the best for their kids.

If my children were miserable in school I would take them out, if possible. I think I could teach them to GCSE level with the help of books. A level they could go back to school for as it tends to be better socially by then, fewer behavioural problems etc.

My experience of secondary school was that it destroyed my confidence and work ethic. The education was mediocre. A lot of time wasted due to bad behaviour , teachers who couldn't cope, whole class teaching when many couldn't read fluently at secondary age. A home ed experience with children from like minded families would probably have been preferable.

Completely agree.

I'm glad home education worked well for you and your kids, but this post is just as objectionable as the absolutist ones from the opposite perspective. Plenty of hyper-intelligent kids flourish in ordinary schools.

I think underlying this issue - trends, advice etc. is the very serious concern that schools may not be the best place to educate, socialise and provide your children with stability. And from what I have read - they have a point. School resources are spread so thinly, behaviour is a massive issue (is that the social example you want for your child), many lessons or days even are taken up trying to control a class let alone actually teach. Accessible learning tools are better and cheaper than before so many children will thrive if they are taught how to use the computer and problem solve. The only real draw back is setting a structure and making sure they have proper balance.

I homeschooled my children. I had them late, after a career in the US military. My elder child is a software developer for a multinational corporation whose name you would all recognize working on the programming of self-driving vehicles. My daughter is a highly regarded medical doctor. Neither is socially inept in any way.

Done correctly, homeschooling can be amazing. My children were too intelligent to flourish in regular school. Sad to say but an absolute fact. They have both told me that they were grateful to have been homeschooled, and I am grateful for having had an unobstructed view into their lives when they were growing up. We all treasure those years.

The stats for young people finishing state education in terms of basic literacy and maths at functional levels are poor. I would HE in a heartbeat if we could afford to do so.

Plus SEND under funding, plus teachers leaving due to burn out.

I also think large secondaries may be economical but they actually don't seem good socially. When in history have we ever stuck 1000+ teens together in a building, quite a few of them unable to learn for various reasons.

It seems unfair on children..they have no say in this and don't have anything to compare to. It is very difficult to cover a broad curriculum yourself. I wish there was more oversight of the children in these situations ..for the positive stories there must be many children falling between the cracks.

A lot of teachers training is in how to teach and control a classroom of 30 odd kids (which makes sense)- once you remove that section of the training then you are into how to breakdown and deliver the content- all of which you can get and do yourself. The entire national curriculum is available free online.

Loads of families have only one parent working, it’s very very common. Home edders manage just like that.

There are obviously people who are letting their children down however ….

there are also so many schools letting children down Sen or not .. Sen children are not funded properly - definitely not supporting their needs , environment isn’t right , this then impacts on NT children .

It is definitely a one size fits all approach which is absolutely doesn’t .

My Ds is year 12 in college who have absolutely no idea how to support him , don’t contact me till absolute crisis , then wonder why it’s not working , this cycle continues .

I know lots of teachers RL and I would say I know one who is actually enjoying it - lots who were amazing teachers who left .

The sheer number of teachers leaving must tell you school is not all that .

I sent my ds to school. He has asd with pda, adhd, dyslexia, sensory processing disorder, dyspraxia and a genetic disorder which means he is physically disabled. All diagnosed by teams of professionals.

He went to school, behaved himself… and learned nothing.

I went in for regular progress meetings and was told repeatedly that they had NO IDEA what he was capable of because he sat silently at his desk and cried- he made no attempt at any work.

They repeatedly told me that he needed a 1 to 1 but wouldn’t take him to panel because they could only take one child per panel and he was ‘no problem’.

After y2 I removed him. He is now year 5 and has made incredible progress at home.

The current system is pushing people towards taking the kids out of school if the child or parent has any kind of issue that may impact attendance, whether that be physical or mental health or social issues. The school near me allows only 3 days sick per year without doctors note (which GPs won't provide)before they start giving fines of £60 a time for each parent. Other areas are threatening people with court action. Schools are also happy to get rid of "troublesome" children who use resources and badly impact their figures.

I think for some families its the best choice as long as parents dedicated to it which is a slog.
However i know of two parents whos child wants everything their way and they cant be arsed with the school run and the kid will be so disadvantaged

Home educated two of my dc, school wasnt/isn't for them.

My son is now off to university, so clearly doing OK, and my dd doesn't have the support she needs at school, goes in for an hour a day, but is mainly home educated, goodness knows what will happen with her.

Maybe aim your anger at the education system, lack of support for teachers, schools with no money or resources, and try and fix that before coming for home educators.

I have only ever encountered HE as a lifestyle choice online. In real life, every one of the HE families I know are in that position because they have been failed by the state sector. Some do a great job and children are thriving, some are merely surviving but still see it as better than their lived experience of state education. None of these families would have picked HE as their first choice and many are quite frustrated and disappointed with the options available to them.

I have NO desire to home educate, but if we ever couldn’t afford private school I would prepare myself for that possibility.

Are you seriously suggesting you've never heard of a SAHM?

I can't fathom why people homeschool! Teachers spend time and money getting qualified - how can unqualified parents match this? The parents can't work as they have to educate their children so how do they afford to live?

I'm sure there are lots of parents HE their kids well. But there is an equal amount that aren't I encounter a group on a regular basis where the kids are lovely, but their parents are simply trying to avoid "the system".
Many are not capable of schooling their kids. Some are. I would have loved to but I don't think I could do it without our relationship suffering.

I know an astoundingly bright child who has been homeschooled til nine or 10. Took his 11+ to go back into mainstream and absolutely bombed it because he had only ever worked at his own pace. Couldnt time manage to save his life. These are skills he will need to gain the qualifications he is more than capable of.

it isn’t just about making sure the child is academically equipped.

He’s now at a comp, is precociously ahead in terms of knowledge and, because kids are kids, is having a bad time as he is seen as the school swot. He is brilliant at socialising with adults. Kids his own age - not so much.

Don't you think all these awful parents making rubbish decisions about their children's education would be unsupportive (and probably disruptive) if the children were in school? And lots of schools seem to be struggling already. Parents are allowed to make 'bad' choices in most areas - food, technology, bedtimes etc

Yes, unfortunately there are a growing number of these families since the pandemic. Children pulled out of school when challenged about poor behaviour or attendance, no education received at home at all. It's so sad.

The majority of home educators I've come across (in NI) are religious and just don't want their kids experiencing the influences of other kids at school. They only let their kids associate with kids from their church. I'm sure they get to protect their kids innocence for longer, but I don't think it does them any favors in the long run. The ones I know do get a good education but it must be hard on the kids to integrate into the "real world" once they get a bit older.