Saying shut up to a 1/2 year old

I'm sorry I misunderstood, I thought you were in a terraced house, Redruby.

Try not to think about whether or not your downstairs neighbour is on her own, it's not your business.

The biggest problem you have is the noise. It is possible to soundproof your floor and wouldn't cost the earth. I found this which may be of interest to you:

You both sound like nightmare neighbours to me. One shouty and noisy and the other a busy body.

For someone you don’t like you know an awful lot about her.
Report her to social services about her parenting if you like, although I can tell you that there is nothing there that will get them to turn up.
Report her for benefits fraud if you want to.

It’s horrible having neighbours like that, I have similar. She shouts at her kids and is just plain rude to them. It’s upsetting to hear and can become rather all consuming. Remember though, you can’t change what she’s doing, but you can change how you react to it.

I can tell you that you are describing a home environment where the children are fed & cared for in the best way they can be by these parents. There are millions of children who are genuinely neglected, abused and have shit lives. It doesnt sound ideal and it would be a huge issue for me but I'd probably report to social services if really concerned about abuse or move house. As all teachers and nursery workers know there are plenty shittish parents but fuck tons of deprivation and poverty. I can't believe what I hear parents say to little kids. Just move.

Surely a 1/2 year oldustbbe a 6 months old baby. 1/2 a year.

The running up and down in one room is not your business, neither is the perceived benefit fraud. Her guy may sleep at the house a lot but if he has his own place, he is not actually residing with her. Anyway, you don't grass up neighbours for things like that.

It would be nice for the child to go in the garden and I have no idea why the mother doesn't allow that but I doubt SS would do anything about it. As for her smoking, pregnant women did that for years before it was considered unhealthy for their babies and most were fine.

Your problem is a noise nuisance and I sympathise. Environmental Health are the people who deal with noise nuisances but you can't depend on them coming round at a time when the noise is happening.

I do wonder sometimes if people actually check whether you can hear things through walls in houses before they move into them. There is usually a survey involved which will tell you what sort of walls and insulation there is. I hardly hear anything through my adjoining wall. At my previous house, you could hear everything from either side and they could hear us, it was awful but it was a 'first house', all we could afford then and not forever, so we put up with it.

Any chance of you, or her, moving? She sounds obnoxious.

Poor kids, sounds quite horrible for them.

Do you have a job or a hobby you could take up?

I'm not getting the vibe that you're worried about the child, more you want to get revenge on your neighbour.

Oh god, OP. You sound like a really nosey neighbour. Stop your obsession with what they're doing and focus on your own life. What you are detailing is not abuse - you're just being judgey.

Aw man, I've not heard the phrase "fist sandwich" in years! Although people round my way call it a "knucke sandwich"

Telling a child to shut up is horrible, don't get me wrong but it sounds like the mum is at the end of her tether.

We also don't know she's fraudulently claiming benefits, this is something the OP suspects because she spies on next door.

A bit of kindness works wonders sometimes, is all I'm saying. But it could also lead to a fist in the face 🤷‍♀️

Saying shut up isn't polite but it's hardly abuse and is probably and end of tether reaction to endless talking. I'm sure she's worked out where the child learned it and is feeling crap about it.

Maybe they don't like their garden. It sounds like they have a nosy neighbour which would put me off going out there. If the child has asthma cold air or pollen could set it off. Or they might get foxes and cats crapping everywhere. Without knowing what they are doing you can't really judge their choice to not use the garden. My child spent their entire time outside at nursery when he was there, so we didn't prioritise being outside at the weekend and did crafting type activities instead (which he missed out on at nursery due to being unwilling to leave the mud he was wallowing in).

A child who wakes up at 8 and has a long nap in the daytime could easily be up until 11. It probably suits the parents to not be woken up at 5 and to get some time in the middle of the day while the kid sleeps.

So, basically, you've already decided that you aren't going to do anything about this. In that case, what is the point of this thread?

If you were asking whether people thought this was something you should report, and actually wondering if a report to social services might help the children, that would be a perfectly valid reason to be talking about this on Mumsnet.

But in fact, you've already made the decision to do jack-shit about it, and just wanted to start a thread on Mumsnet you can get some entertainment out of encouraging other people to slag your neighbours off along with you.

If you think the children are at risk, it's awful not to report it. If you don't think they're at risk, it's awful to be using their lives as misery-porn on Mumsnet.

I mean the type of people that tell their children to shut up and fraudulently claim benefits. You're likely to get a fist sandwich.

What do you mean "people like this"?

If you mean parents who are not making the same choices I would then yes, of course I have. In both a professional and personal setting.

I'm assuming you've never had contact with people like this?

More mutual tolerance would be the best way forward here.

Too much drama, you know an awful lot about what your neighbours are up to. Telling a 1 to 2 yr old to shut up is not ideal.

You are far too invested in this family's activities, and it's actually coming across as creepy and unpleasant. I suggest minding your own business. And perhaps a hobby.