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Original poster

Accidentally stirred the pot and don’t know how to make things right

238 replies

pleasehelpagirlout62 · 25/04/2024 20:59

Friend 1 messaged me a couple of weeks ago something she shouldn’t have commented on about Friend 2. Something she know Friend 2 wouldn’t of liked.

I have been having a long chat with Friend 2 and stupidly said Friend 1 had been chatting to me about that last week. She then wants the whole details, I feel awful and send her our messages as she wanted to know and now she is raging with Friend 1.

I feel like a total idiot and stirred the pot. Now I feel like they are going to fall out because of me, and that Friend 1 is going to fall out with me because I sent our texts to Friend 2.

What have I done! Why did I do this! Someone help me rectify this please

OP posts:
HelpMeUnpickThis · 26/04/2024 02:46

@pleasehelpagirlout62 Friend one stirred the pot but wow you took an electric whisk to it!

bradpittsbathwater · 26/04/2024 02:41

"Accidentally"

JanglingJack · 26/04/2024 02:19

Blimey, that's almost akin to stirring the tanks on Apollo 13.

You are a shit stirrer. 'Accidentally' mentioned, deliberately forwarded. Are you sure friend even begged to see them? Maybe you were begging her to beg.

Crikey.

Theboymolefoxandhorse · 26/04/2024 02:12

I actually feel for you OP and have been in a v similar situation myself a long time ago (a lot of wine was involved but not an excuse 😂) Whilst everyone is keen to get on their high horses because they’ve ofc never made mistakes I believe you when you say this was unintentional. I’m assuming you didn’t plan your conversation to be like - I’m going to tell friend 2 what friend 1 said today. You know yourself that the sharing of messages is a huge betrayal of trust and are owning up to that. You clearly care about both parties and as others have suggested I think only way to try and make reparations is by honest conversation, apologies (ideally F2F) with them both and unfortunately there will be a time where you have to sit with the uncomfortable feeling of having fucked up that we all have to deal with at some point as an adult. It sure was a life lesson for me and I definitely will not do it again.

If it helps I’m still friends with both the people involved in my situation although did take a while for things to get back to what they were.

Good luck

Fallenangelofthenorth · 25/04/2024 23:52

If either of them have any sense then they'll both fall out with you. I would if I was either friend. What a shitty way to behave. You've betrayed both of them.

EmilyTjP · 25/04/2024 23:37

Not an accident. You shit stirred

Delphiniumandlupins · 25/04/2024 23:36

Your only way to come close to rectifying this is to apologise to friend 1 for betraying confidences. Even that probably won't fix it. I wouldn't trust you again. You said friend 1 should not have made her original comment about friend 2 so in future don't get involved in saying things behind your friends 'backs. Keep out of potential drama and don't say anything you don't want repeated.

OddityOddityOdd · 25/04/2024 23:14

So, that's two friends you've lost. Hope you got a whole load more because you won't keep them long if you behave like this.

saraclara · 25/04/2024 23:12

I'm not sure what you're looking for here.

You didn't accidentally tell her that you'd been discussing this sensitive subject for her, with with friend 1. Nobody says that stuff accidentally.

You didn't accidentally send her the messages. I mean, who does that? If someone pushes you you just say no, or say you've deleted the conversation. But no, you sent them in order to hurt friend 2 and betray friend 1.

You were a shitty friend to both, quite deliberately, and now you're giving it the old "poor me".
They're both better off without you

Starbugg · 25/04/2024 23:07

Nah I don’t believe you accidentally mentioned it. You so obviously mentioned it deliberately but took it too far by sending the messages and are now panicking because your back stabbing can be proved.

Actions, consequences.

EC22 · 25/04/2024 23:07

You’re not a good friend. You’re a shit stirrer. You’ll lose friends and will maybe learn a lesson? Maybe not.

Irishmama100 · 25/04/2024 23:04

I always say to my kids -“If you repeat something bad that someone said behind someone’s back to their face, you are worse than the person that said it originally”

You can’t fix this.

We all make mistakes, I would really just learn from this.

MonsteraMama · 25/04/2024 22:54

I'm pretty sure you've just nuked both of these friendships.

Live and learn. Don't be a two faced shit stirrer in future and maybe you'll have more luck keeping friends. Most of us grew out of this shit in highschool.

Gcsunnyside23 · 25/04/2024 22:48

You knew what you were doing so why are you worried all if a sudden? Is there some other reason you want to ruin their friendship?

ToxicChristmas · 25/04/2024 22:42

ClairemacL · 25/04/2024 21:40

If I were Friend 2 I’d drop you so fast. If I were Friend 1 I’d drop you even faster!

Edited

Agree. With friends like that who needs enemies!

raspberryberet7 · 25/04/2024 22:40

Have t rtft but it doesn't sound like it was accidental tbh

SeriousFaffing · 25/04/2024 22:35

Kittenkitty · 25/04/2024 22:24

Confess, apologise, admit that you’re ashamed and embarrassed of your behaviour. DO NOT try and put the blame on the other friend, the last thing you want is them comparing notes on you being two faced again.

Agree, this is good advice.

SeriousFaffing · 25/04/2024 22:33

You SENT her all the messages from the conversation you had with friend 1? Yeesh.

All you can do is think about the repercussions the next time something like this begins to arise. You can make the decision to not sent the chat history.

SamW98 · 25/04/2024 22:29

Bull shit did you do any of this accidentally. You deliberately shit stirred - probably loving the drama - and now you’re shitting yourself because you’ve been caught out that you can’t be trusted.

Sharing private messages is fucking disgusting behaviour. If I was either of your friends, you’d be history.

Kittenkitty · 25/04/2024 22:24

Confess, apologise, admit that you’re ashamed and embarrassed of your behaviour. DO NOT try and put the blame on the other friend, the last thing you want is them comparing notes on you being two faced again.

Megifer · 25/04/2024 22:09

Fuck around and find out, as they say 😬

Look on the bright side, at least its 2 less Christmas presents to buy this year!!

MuggedByReality · 25/04/2024 21:54

Play silly games, win silly prizes…

Lampslights · 25/04/2024 21:45

CheeryPye · 25/04/2024 21:44

Well at least you won't have to worry about having so many friends in future...

Or ever being told something again.

CheeryPye · 25/04/2024 21:44

Well at least you won't have to worry about having so many friends in future...

Letsgetouttahere2023 · 25/04/2024 21:40

Why would you ever share messages?

That's no accident. You clearly enjoy an argy bargie

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