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Original poster

Accidentally stirred the pot and don’t know how to make things right

238 replies

pleasehelpagirlout62 · 25/04/2024 20:59

Friend 1 messaged me a couple of weeks ago something she shouldn’t have commented on about Friend 2. Something she know Friend 2 wouldn’t of liked.

I have been having a long chat with Friend 2 and stupidly said Friend 1 had been chatting to me about that last week. She then wants the whole details, I feel awful and send her our messages as she wanted to know and now she is raging with Friend 1.

I feel like a total idiot and stirred the pot. Now I feel like they are going to fall out because of me, and that Friend 1 is going to fall out with me because I sent our texts to Friend 2.

What have I done! Why did I do this! Someone help me rectify this please

OP posts:
Lampslights · 26/04/2024 08:48

misssunshine4040 · 26/04/2024 08:41

I think you need to look deep inside as to why you did this. Subconsciously you must have an issue with friend 1 and you rocked the boat to call trouble.

Try and figure out what underlying tension is there to cause this. Are you insecure about the friendship ?

Or she was trying to curry favour with the other friend, so threw the first one under the bus.

Heartoverhead1 · 26/04/2024 08:42

Beggars belief that you'd send the messages on and still say it was an accident!

misssunshine4040 · 26/04/2024 08:41

I think you need to look deep inside as to why you did this. Subconsciously you must have an issue with friend 1 and you rocked the boat to call trouble.

Try and figure out what underlying tension is there to cause this. Are you insecure about the friendship ?

grinandslothit · 26/04/2024 08:31

This is really horrible and I wouldn't want to be friends with you anymore either cuz you couldn't be trusted

ringoffiire · 26/04/2024 08:27

Say sorry, mean it, and hope it works out. That's all you can do at this point.

(and in future, a good rule of thumb is that you never share messages with a third party - friend 2 shouldn't have been asking you for those and you certainly shouldn't have shared them).

Lampslights · 26/04/2024 08:25

HowToSaveAWife · 26/04/2024 08:06

There is no rectifying this unless you bring both together and say I really messed up, I'm so sorry.

You fractured trust on both sides, I'd be prepared for one or both of them to not speak to you again. For whatever reason, whether you felt guilty about the bitching by friend 1 maybe, it's happened now and there's no undoing it.

When you sink so low as to send the messages, there is no coming back from it. That’s deliberate and malicious.

custardcreme77 · 26/04/2024 08:17

Your soon-to-be former friends - 1 & 2 - are well rid of you and your ‘accidental’ 5hit-stirring.

ThreeLocusts · 26/04/2024 08:14

Nagado · 25/04/2024 21:04

You need to contact friend 1 before friend 2 gets the chance. Come clean, apologise, grovel and hope she forgives you for breaking her trust.

I think you might just have lost both of them, with friend 2 being upset that you didn’t shut friend 1 down immediately and that you hid it from her. Sincere apologies to both of them are the only way to go.

This sound right to me

TheaBrandt · 26/04/2024 08:12

Never ends well for double agents

Notchangingnameagain · 26/04/2024 08:07

Your actual no coming back from fuck up was sharing the messages.

WTF.

HowToSaveAWife · 26/04/2024 08:06

There is no rectifying this unless you bring both together and say I really messed up, I'm so sorry.

You fractured trust on both sides, I'd be prepared for one or both of them to not speak to you again. For whatever reason, whether you felt guilty about the bitching by friend 1 maybe, it's happened now and there's no undoing it.

PandorasBoxers · 26/04/2024 08:04

pleasehelpagirlout62 · 25/04/2024 21:04

I know, I sent the messages knowing full well it would lead to an argument. I’m an idiot. What I accidentally done was mention me and Friend 1 was talking about it the other day and thenFriend 2 was asking why was we mentioning it and basically begged me for the messages so I sent them. I don’t know why I did it. I can’t believe I did it

Show quote history

Doesn’t sound like you’re a good friend to either of these people. Poor friend 2 has been treated terribly

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 26/04/2024 07:58

So, Friend1 told you something about Friend2. Something Friend2 then told you about herself. You said "Yeah Friend1 was telling me about that"

And now Friend2 is pissed off because Friend1 was talking about something that Friend2 told you anyway.

Are you all 13?

Tell them both to grow up

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 26/04/2024 07:57

You chose to send the messages, your choice, you chose to end your friendship/s by sending the messages.

AliceMcK · 26/04/2024 07:57

Errmm you say, o it was just blah blah blah nothing nasty, sorry I don’t have the messages anymore….

fieldsofbutterflies · 26/04/2024 07:56

I mean, you clearly did mean to stir the pot otherwise you'd never have brought friend 1 into the conversation or shared the messages.

I guess you reap what you sow.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 26/04/2024 07:55

Really bad form and neither will trust you again. Contact friend 1 and fess up and apologise. Request that friend 2 does not make a thing of it.
i suspect they will become person I used to be friends with 1 and person I used to be friends with 2

RobBeckettsGiantTeeth · 26/04/2024 07:54

I don't think you can fix this. You can't do something this horrible and then flutter your eyelashes and play the "but I didn't meeeeeean to!!" card.

If I was the friend whose messages you'd shared I'd never speak to you again after this. What a horrible abuse of trust and what a lousy "friend" you are.

Pluviophile1 · 26/04/2024 07:53

How is sending friend 1's messages to friend 2 'accidentally stirring the pot'?
Friend 1 will justifiably be really upset with you and friend 2 will know that you can't be trusted.
You can't rectify it. Offer a grovelling apology to both of them and then wait to see.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 26/04/2024 07:53

Lampslights · 26/04/2024 07:37

Nah, she sent the bloody messages.

Show quote history

Oh, definitely. I don't think it was accidental and it's likely to result in at least one of them falling out with her. But I think things like this don't necessarily always happen just because someone loves drama and conflict (although they can, obviously).

namethisbird · 26/04/2024 07:52

Why did you share messages from one friend to another? There is no accidental stirring of the pot here , you had intentions to cause issues. Very poor form to discuss friends with each other and even worse to then share messages.

Hopefully friend one and two will realise that you are no friend to either of them and they both cut you off.

TinyGingerCat · 26/04/2024 07:52

How old are you? You sound about 13. What kind of grown up sends messages from someone else to another person in the full knowledge it will upset them. You reap what you sow.

NonPlayerCharacter · 26/04/2024 07:43

I might believe you accidentally had a slip of the tongue but how do you accidentally forward messages?

You were trying to cause trouble, you've caused it. Was it worth it?

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 26/04/2024 07:42

If someone sent my private messages to a 3rd party it would be game over for me, I would be furious and never speak to them again.

NestaArcheron · 26/04/2024 07:42

I wouldn't speak to you again if you passed on private messages. There's no accident here.

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