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Accidentally stirred the pot and don’t know how to make things right

238 replies

pleasehelpagirlout62 · 25/04/2024 20:59

Friend 1 messaged me a couple of weeks ago something she shouldn’t have commented on about Friend 2. Something she know Friend 2 wouldn’t of liked.

I have been having a long chat with Friend 2 and stupidly said Friend 1 had been chatting to me about that last week. She then wants the whole details, I feel awful and send her our messages as she wanted to know and now she is raging with Friend 1.

I feel like a total idiot and stirred the pot. Now I feel like they are going to fall out because of me, and that Friend 1 is going to fall out with me because I sent our texts to Friend 2.

What have I done! Why did I do this! Someone help me rectify this please

OP posts:
papadontpreach2me · 26/04/2024 10:47

You need to own up to being a shit stirrer. You know exactly what you did and now you don't want to be the bad guy but you are the bad guy in this situation.

notawittyname1954 · 26/04/2024 10:43

It is never right to share private messages. What you should have said to both of them is that if there is an issue with the other they should discuss it. Being in the middle and to friends criticising each other is very difficult. Listen but say you are staying out of it. Hopefully they might forgive you but doubt the friendship will ever be the same

Bananagirl23 · 26/04/2024 10:36

I had something similar done to me by what I thought were two good friends - I was friend 2 in your situation. Couldn’t trust either of them again after that. I’d be surprised if your friendship group survives - hope you can live and learn for next time not to gossip

SamW98 · 26/04/2024 10:20

Blanca87 · 26/04/2024 10:08

It’s the fact you are trying to act all whoops -a-daisy about when it was really malicious & toxic.

Agree. Its the ‘ooh silly me I’m SUCH a idiot giggle giggle’ faux naive dizzy teenager act.

You're a shit stirring drama loving terrible friend OP - own it

CosmosQueen · 26/04/2024 10:10

AllIWantToDo · 26/04/2024 05:16

If this is true you deserve all that's coming. You admit you knew it would cause upset if they each found out. The faux naivety talking behind each's back doesn't wash if you're over thirteen. I think you thought each was loyal to you, so you could gossip freely. Maybe you'll learn how awful it was when the shit hits the fan.

Deliberately accidental?
Stop the faux innocent apologies, you knew exactly what you were doing and now you need to own up and take the consequences.

Blanca87 · 26/04/2024 10:08

It’s the fact you are trying to act all whoops -a-daisy about when it was really malicious & toxic.

user1492757084 · 26/04/2024 10:04

You should have told a white lie and said you had already deleted the post... and made light of your comment.
Importantly, you should now learn never to repeat a hearsay.

It is very bad manners to repeat anything someone says to you, to another person. Always leave a person to tell another themselves, if they so wish. You are a bad friend as you can not be trusted to keep confidences.

Did you secretly wish to have your friends fall out with each other?

ClairemacL · 26/04/2024 09:50

You fucked around and are now finding out. 😂

AtrociousCircumstance · 26/04/2024 09:49

pleasehelpagirlout62 · 25/04/2024 21:04

I know, I sent the messages knowing full well it would lead to an argument. I’m an idiot. What I accidentally done was mention me and Friend 1 was talking about it the other day and thenFriend 2 was asking why was we mentioning it and basically begged me for the messages so I sent them. I don’t know why I did it. I can’t believe I did it

Maybe you did it because you were sick of being in the middle and it was stressing you out @pleasehelpagirlout62

Leave them to it. It wasn’t ideal but this is between them. It’s probably a load of crap about nothing I imagine.

Silvers11 · 26/04/2024 09:46

Might have been accidental to let slip in the first place - You could have made up a white lie/been very vague about why you knew. but forwarding the messages as they were written WAS deliberately stirring the pot and you do know that, if you are honest with yourself

Doubt there is anything you can do to make it right now. You'll probably lose both friends

saffronflower · 26/04/2024 09:44

Someone help me rectify this please

The only person who can do this is you and I dont rate your chances.

You will have to make a grovelling apology to both and really consider why you did this in the first place. How can they ever trust you ever again? I think you are jealous of their friendship and thats why you decided to sabotage it. Own it, admit it and dont do it again going forward, otherwise you will end up with no friends left.

Nazzywish · 26/04/2024 09:34

You send friend 2 private messages. Yes you deserve the fall out. What a shit friend you are.

AxolotlEars · 26/04/2024 09:25

Some things for you to really think about are how you feel/felt about friend 1, how you feel/felt about friend 2, how you feel/felt about them being friends. I don't think it's accidental that you said anything and, while it's difficult for anyone to know your true motives, are you jealous of either of them or their relationship.

oakleaffy · 26/04/2024 09:25

That's some weapons~ grade shit stirring you have done, @pleasehelpagirlout62

What the heck were you thinking of...are you 13?

gmgnts · 26/04/2024 09:12

A 'friend' did this to me a few years ago. Both ways, in fact. She relayed unpleasant stuff a mutual friend supposedly said about me and she also completely misrepresented/lied about something I'd said, to a group of friends who then ostracised me. I've gritted my teeth and remained polite (but distant) because she lives next door, but I just heard she's sold her house and I've been dancing with joy at the thought of never having to see her face again!

betterangels · 26/04/2024 09:10

At least they know who you are now and can decide whether or not to continue the friendship. You'll have to accept whatever their decision is.

Bringbackspring · 26/04/2024 09:06

Friend 1 needs to realise that if you don't want things getting back to people, don't say them in the first place. It's all done now, and we are only human, these things happen. I'm not going to judge you because that would be pretending I'm perfect myself. But hopefully both you and Friend 1 will learn not to talk about your other friends behind their back from now on.

You probably just have to wait until it sort of blows over by itself, as things tend to do with time (unless what was said was catastrophic of course).

Folklore9074 · 26/04/2024 09:04

You can’t fix this. You’ve messed up. All you can do is hold your hands up if called out. I would say though, keep a low profile for a bit, let it blow over. Least said soonest mended. Keep your nose out of others business in future.

LookItsMeAgain · 26/04/2024 09:01

Are you in secondary school @pleasehelpagirlout62 ? What you did is absolutely out of the bitchy girl bully book!

None of what you did was an accident. You should have kept your mouth shut when it came to whatever Friend 1 said/texted to you as that was probably done expecting a level of confidentiality as a friend. It's not your secret to tell, right?
Then you basically give Friend 2 print outs of what Friend 1 thought/said about your mutual friend?

Would you want to stay friends with someone who did what you did to them?

Shame on you.

TheCatIsInCharge · 26/04/2024 08:58

Why would you do that?!
How old are you?

MrsPuckle · 26/04/2024 08:53

pleasehelpagirlout62 · 25/04/2024 21:04

I know, I sent the messages knowing full well it would lead to an argument. I’m an idiot. What I accidentally done was mention me and Friend 1 was talking about it the other day and thenFriend 2 was asking why was we mentioning it and basically begged me for the messages so I sent them. I don’t know why I did it. I can’t believe I did it

You’re a shit stirrer. You don’t “accidentally” mention something like that and you also don’t forward private messages either. If I was friend 1 neither you nor friend 2 would be featuring as friends in my life again after this, they’ve had a lucky escape.

PenguinLord · 26/04/2024 08:50

So Friend 1 trusted you with something and you forwarded their private messages to Friend 2, I think you realise what sort of person oyu are and both your friends will be better off without you. With 'friends' like you, who needs enemies.

Pozz · 26/04/2024 08:49

No way should you have sent the messages from one friend to another. Lesson learned I guess.

notintheseparts · 26/04/2024 08:49

Ha, this reminds me when DS was about 8 and claimed he "accidentally" climbed up onto a chair to reach the top shelf in the cupboard where the sweets were kept and ate a whole packet of Haribo.
You could try sending a really grovelling message to Friend 1 but I think realistically, you have lost that friendship (and rightly so).

Also, saying this for your own good and not to sound mean but please get some grammar lessons, there is probably something free on youtube.

MorningSunshineSparkles · 26/04/2024 08:49

You did a shitty thing, you take the consequences. Count your blessings if they don’t both drop you for being two faced.

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