Accidentally stirred the pot and don’t know how to make things right

You purposefully did this. You even say that you knew sending those messages would make her angry.

I'm not sure what on earth you're expecting us to say that you can do to fix it.

Absolute best case scenario: you get in contact directly with friend one, tell her you are sorry, that you are an absolute arsehole and made an incredibly bad choice by sharing those messages with the other person. Tell her you understand if she won't forgive you, but that you hope at some point she will

Then leave it alone. Stop gossiping. Don't push the subject and if she wants to approach you again, maybe she will.

You did this, and she's entirely within her rights to not speak to you again if she chooses tbh.

You reap what you sow OP. You deliberately did this knowing the trouble it would cause. You're not a good friend.

You’re not a very good friend if you can’t keep a confidence. What a juvenile thing to do.

Sounds like you shared the messages to make yourself feel important. Reminds me of Iago in Othello.
Also appears that you might benefit from a counsellor in visiting your past to see where betrayal behaviour stems from. It has roots somewhere.

You might not have lost their friendship and it might continue on a superficial level, but you will certainly have lost their trust so they will be wary of you and what they say to you in future.

Your first mention might have been 'accidental'. Forwarding the messages wasn't.

The initial mention of the conversation to friend 2 might have been a mistake, @DZbornak - but sending the screenshots was 100% deliberate - @pleasehelpagirlout62 knew it would cause an argument and still did it anyway!

I don’t think people on this thread have overreacted hugely to what the OP did - she did something pretty nasty, on purpose, knowing it would cause aggro - and people on here have not sugar-coated or downplayed what she’s done.

but people are acting like she shagged both of her pals husbands! Though yeah, typical mumsnet

Sorry, I don't get this. So, unless our friends have shagged our husbands we arent allowed to be upset about them bitching about us behind our backs, breaking trust, or indeed any other unkind behaviour? wow the bar for friendship is extremely low here isn't it.

Sending screenshots was clearly deliberate, not an "oops silly me lol" mistake.

Trust is important in any relationship and friendship is no different. People are reacting because if it happened to them they'd be very upset which is completely understandable. Maybe OP should play it off as her being "daft" and see what happens but I can almost guarantee her friends wont see it that way and neither would most normal people.

To me it’s not in the category of “mistake” “accident” “oops what am I like”. It’s a calculated bitchy intended mean thing to do that would horrify your average reasonable 15 year old.

All completely fair comments, agreed!

With friends like you, who needs enemies.

I completely agree. Putting things in writing is always risky behaviour.

However, since Op didn’t come back we don’t know what was said. We don’t know if the first friend was bitching. Op said she commented on something she shouldn’t have done. That could have been loads of things without bitching about friend 2.

And friend 1 felt comfortable enough to discuss it with Op. That doesn’t reflect well in Op either.

and it wasn’t a mistake.

Cheers! 🍻

🍻

As I said previously, I'm really not being particularly serious in my comments, just find it really amusing how many people are completely up in arms over a daft mistake! Have to say though, it's quite surprising just how many people seem to speak badly of others over texts. All texts, online posts, photos, have the potential to be screenshotted. So why put yourself in that position in the first place? The messages should have been kept private, but the friend shouldn't have been bitching about her other friend in the first place. Anyway, as I said, don't particularly care and have already wasted too much time typing this out!

Shit stirring and a betraying a friends trust is shitty.

Pretending it was an accident and not taking responsibility, is just taking the piss out of your friends and shows no accountability.

Why would you think shagging their husbands is the only reason people would think their friend wasn’t a friend at all?

Is that the only line your have for friends? You accept any behaviour up to shagging your husband?

why was we mentioning it and basically begged me for the messages so I sent them. I don’t know why I did it

Because you’re a shit stirrer who likes to try to play the innocent after the fact.

No need for any Freudian analysis here. Often the simplest explanation is the correct one.

Looks like the OP is back 😂

Were we meant to congratulate her and say "yeah please f over all your other acquaintances, why not publish private texts online like some sort of Facebook vigilante"?

Ha ha, happy to help 😄 I am having a laugh and my comment is obviously slightly tongue in cheek, but people are acting like she shagged both of her pals husbands! Though yeah, typical mumsnet.

People ask me what I come to MN for. It's this. It's all about this.

Friend 1 is the real villain here I assume she was saying some pretty nasty things about friend 2 or why would you of relayed the texts.

However you didn’t have to take screenshots, I would of just shut the conversation down.

I can only assume the posters saying they’d never trust you again if you were their friend, like to slag their friends off without the danger of being rumbled by a mutual friend. Which is hardly saintly.

You aren’t an idiot.
You’re a shit disturber.
Own it.

Well, sounds like you've been shit stirring and now you've realised you've got to lick the spoon.
Own up, apologise and go from there.

Friend 1 shouldnt have gossiped. Friend 2 told you her business because she chose to, it was not friend 1's place to say anything. At least 2 now knows that 1 cant be trusted.

And lets face it, anyone who gossips to you will gossip about you so be careful what you share with her.