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Original poster

Inheritance in a blended family

307 replies

iwanttoholdyourhand · 25/04/2024 20:40

I want to start off by saying that inheritance is never a given and should never be expected or relied on. I find myself in a blenders family unit.

I have one adult child (25) from my previous relationship and 2 children aged (11)and 13) from my current husband.

Here lies the problem. My DS25 father was an alcoholic and a drug addict and died by the time my son was 18 in 2017. He never really gave any money towards DS25 upbringing. He ran his own business so fudged the accounts. From age 7-16 he paid around. £32 per week in maintenance. He in reality earned around £7000 per week at the time.

My other 2 children grandmother is extremely wealthy and my children will eventually inherit around £1 million each. My DS 25 has asked if he is getting anything from MIL and I have told him no.

My DS 25 is extremely resentful about this and feels it's unfair and that his 2 younger siblings have an unfair advantage on him. I have a BTL property that I will give to my DS25 ( £180k equity) but he still feels cheated.

I don't even know what I'm asking l. Am I being fair with all my children . I cannot never compete with the amount of money my MIL has ??

OP posts:
Original poster
iwanttoholdyourhand · 25/04/2024 21:05

thistimelastweek · 25/04/2024 20:57

Why is DD25 even thinking like this?

Has he no plans to work and save for himself?

Sorry should add that DS is extremely motivated and works hard and earns a good salary for his age £45 k. He has just got a new job at £55k He will most likely be on £100k in the next 5 years. His girlfriend also earns well too.

He is just angry that his siblings will get a better deal. I know there will be this underlying tension between them. I want them to just love and support each other no matter what.

OP posts:
thistimelastweek · 25/04/2024 20:57

Why is DD25 even thinking like this?

Has he no plans to work and save for himself?

Itradehorses · 25/04/2024 20:55

Not a lot you can do unfortunately. It's up to MIL unless your husband intervenes. As others have said, what you do with your estate is your choice, and you could leave it all to DS1 on the basis that the other two have been well provided for. But that has its own issues. I'd say inheritance is probably the no.1 disruptor of families after divorce.

hg167 · 25/04/2024 20:51

You’re being more than fair in my opinion giving your son the property. It’s not a competition at all and it’s sad for him making you feel like it is - he’s old enough to understand that MIL is not his grandmother, so realistically there’s no reason at all he should be expecting anything from her (and especially no reason to be upset/angry he’s not going to receive anything from her, as again she’s not his grandmother)

It seems like he’s being very selfish in his thinking (very rude of him to even be asking if he’ll receive anything, almost as if he was looking forward to the idea of her passing for him to potentially receive a high payout), I dread to think how he’ll be when she passes and cannot imagine him being supportive of his siblings during that time as he will be very resentful and jealous.

DisforDarkChocolate · 25/04/2024 20:50

It is fair no matter how much your eldest son resents it. He should be annoyed at his Dad not at your MIL.

FrannieGallops · 25/04/2024 20:47

If they’re directly inheriting from their grandmother, he’ll have to accept it. She’s not his relative.

But if you inherit on her death, you can make additional provision for him.

Whatsitcalled38 · 25/04/2024 20:45

Life isn't fair unfortunately. I'll get naff all from any of my relatives as will many people so he should count himself lucky.

Presumably with the age gap DS isn't very close to MIL ? It would be different imo if he had considered her a grandmother.

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