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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hate Broken Homes

133 replies

MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 15:21

Why does everyone think that a "Broken Home" is worse than staying in an abusive/loveless partnership?

I find it so gross 😬

Why on earth anyone would think blindly staying together for children is more beneficial than their children experiencing healthy relationships or healthy singledom is absolutely beyond me!

Ignoring the financial aspect - why would anyone bother!?!?!

*YABU - Broken homes are the worst
*YANBU - Healthy homes are best

OP posts:
silenttwin · 25/04/2024 17:08

gaslighty why am i not surprised the OP throws that accusation in quite flippantly (and irrelevantly)

Original poster
MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:55

Oneofthesurvivors · 25/04/2024 16:48

Are you drunk?

Show quote history

Wow so gaslighty - my post references “broken homes” in inverted commars, as I had seen a sad post earlier today where many many people had justified one half of a partnerships behaviors and advised them to continue. One comment was actually quoted by someone else here in this thread.
I really should be drunk to be replying to some of these comments tbh. Seems some people are very angry; about what was not meant to be a 1950’s opinion - quite frankly the opposite!

OP posts:
Original poster
MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:50

Leah5678 · 25/04/2024 16:46

I don't think posters understand what you're trying to say op. The internet makes you realise how many people have shit reading comprehension

Could well be the case!
The emotive topic is subjective depending on your life experiences I guess.
mine inevitably will sway one way; and others the opposite depending on how you were brought up and how your families are now.
Maybe I’ve misunderstood; but I did comment back to ask.
the person below you hit the nail On the head in a much better way than my initial post did, but alas I cannot change it now.

OP posts:
Oneofthesurvivors · 25/04/2024 16:48

MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:44

Yeah… and wasn’t active. You had to go out of your way to find it.
You actively sought out a post to put something to cause conflict ,
realised your mistake in interpreting it and then deleted your comment.
Are you Martha?

Show quote history

Are you drunk?

Original poster
MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:47

silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:44

oh easy enough

just bung in user name in search field

There we are; if debating here wasn’t sufficient you could have popped into my inbox instead.
Very unusual indeed; best wishes on your bowing out endeavors anyway.

And no; DD was referring to her other parent. The one who likes dipping all ends. ✌🏻 to each their own as we say.

OP posts:
Leah5678 · 25/04/2024 16:46

I don't think posters understand what you're trying to say op. The internet makes you realise how many people have shit reading comprehension

OhmygodDont · 25/04/2024 16:46

I think the order is surely the optimal, Happy together home, down to healthy separated homes

then eventually Blended homes if that floats yah boat.

silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:45

it made for an interesting read though given this thread

silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:45

deleted comment? you can’t delete a comment

do you mean “edit”?

silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:44

oh easy enough

just bung in user name in search field

Original poster
MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:44

silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:42

huh? it’s on mumsnet!

Show quote history

Yeah… and wasn’t active. You had to go out of your way to find it.
You actively sought out a post to put something to cause conflict ,
realised your mistake in interpreting it and then deleted your comment.
Are you Martha?

OP posts:
silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:42

MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:42

@silenttwin thanks for using your Netmums premium to find another post of mine and comment on it also in the total wrong understanding of what was written.

Very odd behavior. Might I suggest a hobby?

Edited
Show quote history

huh? it’s on mumsnet!

Original poster
MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:42

MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:38

Thanks 😊 I shall think about it before I go to sleep tonight.
Passive aggressive internet Comments FTW

Show quote history

@silenttwin thanks for using your Netmums premium to find another post of mine and comment on it also in the total wrong understanding of what was written.

Very odd behavior. Might I suggest a hobby?

OP posts:
Original poster
MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:38

silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:32

i feel embarrassed for you OP

i will bow out

Thanks 😊 I shall think about it before I go to sleep tonight.
Passive aggressive internet Comments FTW

OP posts:
Original poster
MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:37

SusanSHelit · 25/04/2024 16:34

My home was broken when my then 8 yo ds was hiding from his father during one of his many abusive outbursts.

It's not broken now, especially when he comes home from school, I ask him if he wants to play out because it's finally stopped raining, and instead he says 'no it's OK, I like chilling here, with you, just talking about life and stuff'. Or when he tells me how he likes 'our house now, it's cosy'

Or when he says he's glad I have more time for him now 'instead of having to clean all the time'

Or even when he tells me that his father is a 'much nicer' person now we live apart.

Hth.

That’s amazing 👏 and is exactly the type of thing I mean. Good for you both and I’m glad things have improved for your child.
kudos!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:36

mitogoshi · 25/04/2024 15:50

There's so many different situations you can't generalise. Abusive homes are never right but the flip side is relationships have their ups and downs, today we tend to quit very easily ... happy medium as so often in my opinion

I understand / it is a sweeping generalization.
and I have heard that people give up too easy.
could it be a case of settling too soon
and then what appears an “easy”
thing to do is actually the straw that broke the camels back.

OP posts:
Itradehorses · 25/04/2024 16:35

GreatGateauxsby · 25/04/2024 15:23

its not 1957 and no one thinks this…

HTH

My mum talks about broken homes. She was born in the early fifties mind. I've asked her to stop.

SusanSHelit · 25/04/2024 16:34

My home was broken when my then 8 yo ds was hiding from his father during one of his many abusive outbursts.

It's not broken now, especially when he comes home from school, I ask him if he wants to play out because it's finally stopped raining, and instead he says 'no it's OK, I like chilling here, with you, just talking about life and stuff'. Or when he tells me how he likes 'our house now, it's cosy'

Or when he says he's glad I have more time for him now 'instead of having to clean all the time'

Or even when he tells me that his father is a 'much nicer' person now we live apart.

Hth.

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · 25/04/2024 16:34

silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:32

i feel embarrassed for you OP

i will bow out

@silenttwin NO! You're part of this thread. If you leave it'll be a broken thread

silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:32

i feel embarrassed for you OP

i will bow out

Original poster
MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:31

silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:28

oh god OP

again. head. wall. bang

why don’t you pause and spend a moment reading the responses to your own thread

Show quote history

Everyone disagrees that the term Broken Home is worse.

Hopefully.

it was to highlight that I see a lot of comments about people not wanting a “broken home” whereas I do not think that split families or single parent families are “broken”.
I’m in agreement with people?
I’m confused at how that isn’t obvious

If you don’t see the comments on the topics you look at then that’s great and sounds progressive. I however do and have done today.

OP posts:
silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:31

MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:29

Some people do think this; I think you might need to read the original comment again :)

The effort some people out into infantaslising and pacifying men while putting women’s feelings to
the bottom in these polls and posts is borderline hilarious - hence my controversial topic choice

Show quote history

you said “everyone” 🙄

Original poster
MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:31

katebushh · 25/04/2024 15:57

Anyone who uses the term broken home is to be swiftly ignored.

Try harder.

Try harder to ignore? Agreed.

OP posts:
Original poster
MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:29

Oneofthesurvivors · 25/04/2024 15:27

Who even says "broken homes" anymore? Also your poll sucks. It assumes that people think single parent families can not be healthy.

Some people do think this; I think you might need to read the original comment again :)

The effort some people out into infantaslising and pacifying men while putting women’s feelings to
the bottom in these polls and posts is borderline hilarious - hence my controversial topic choice

OP posts:
silenttwin · 25/04/2024 16:28

MintTraybake · 25/04/2024 16:27

I said “broken home”; where people specifically generalize and are negative towards single parent homes.

I don’t see it as broken; hence my post 😊

Show quote history

oh god OP

again. head. wall. bang

why don’t you pause and spend a moment reading the responses to your own thread