I spoke to my GP yesterday as I suspect I might have arthritis. My fingers can get stiff, swollen and painful, this has been going on for a while but it used to be one finger only, now it’s 6 across both hands.
I’m 37 and it’s more likely it would be rheumatic.
GP said to have X rays and blood tests.
I’m sort of upset and concerned, of course - as anyone would be at the possibility of having a chronic, painful and debilitating condition.
I love music and have wanted to play the bass since I was a teenager. My parents never supported it (they had the means), as they never did anything I was interested in. Long story short, they were emotionally, psychologically and financially abusive. Music brought me solace during a less than ideal upbringing. As an adult I didn’t pursue learning an instrument - I moved country at 19, have supported myself without help since then and didn’t have the confidence to do things for myself like indulging in learning an instrument . I’ve mentioned to my DP that not learning to play the bass is a big regret of mine.
yesterday evening, I was telling DP what the GP said about tests and arthritis etc and said “I’ve always wanted to play the bass and now I probably won’t ever be able to”.
DP replies “well maybe you should’ve played the bass, it might have prevented the arthritis!”.
I was shocked. It was a throwaway comment/clumsy joke, whatever, but I couldn’t believe how insensitive he was. I was really upset.
he was very surprised at my reaction. Totally didn’t see it was something insensitive, that it was just a throwaway comment.
he wasn’t nasty or disrespectful when he expressed this, but he was just really surprised that I had seen it that way. He apologised.
I know he didn’t mean to upset me, he’s a loving, caring and supportive partner at all times, really. But caring people can make clumsy, insensitive ‘jokes’ sometimes.
AIBU for finding his comment really insensitive? I have a history of overreacting to things so sometimes doubt myself.