Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you'd think if you got this letter please?

30 replies

fruitandbarley · 24/04/2024 23:02

If you received a letter from another parent at your kids school saying that kids had been playing together at school and that their child had said they'd like to arrange to play together outside of school ( playdate I suppose but I hate that word), and saying that they'd tried to catch you in playground but other kid goes to after school club so never there at same time, and to let them know if you'd like to arrange something.
Would you think it was weird, or ok?
I'm the one who sent the letter, we've not long moved to the area.
I've had no message/reply so wondering now if they think I'm odd.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
OhYoko · 25/04/2024 08:33

I'd like it. I struggle with the "rules" of these things and would appreciate an explicit letter like that.

anon4net · 25/04/2024 07:03

Totally normal and lovely to receive a note like that.

If they are anything like me it will take a few days/week to reply!

YeahComeOnThen · 25/04/2024 06:59

fruitandbarley · 24/04/2024 23:27

They're in reception, and I only sent it 3 days ago. I should probably stop thinking about it really. Thanks

Show quote history

@fruitandbarley yeah only 3 days, I'd leave it a bit, but there was nothing wrong with your note, however, next time a big bright envelope or attached to a lion maybe? Small notes are likely to fester in school bags orvslip inside a book or something.

Fluffywigg · 25/04/2024 00:23

perfectly fine OP. I done that a few years ago as DC kept mentioning this name so I just asked school to pop it in the friends bag/pass it on to parent. I was often at work and I didn’t know who the parents were. It was close to the summer holidays so I thought it’s now or never 🤣

Then I got a text off the Mum a few days later saying great let’s meet and the kids have been best friends ever since!

StarlightLime · 25/04/2024 00:17

fruitandbarley · 24/04/2024 23:18

Thanks all, I gave the note to the leader of after school club to pass on as my son and the other child were both there.

I didn't mention not seen them because he was in after school club, just said kept missing them.

Thanks for replying, its been hard relocating and I don't know anyone and feel very awkward in playground with groups of parents already chatting, but been forcing myself to try and speak to people for my children's sake.

Starting to think I'm probably over thinking it now which knowing me is highly likely.

Maybe check with the leader? Hopefully he didn't just put it in the child's bag!

ClareBlue · 25/04/2024 00:12

Well done for taking so initiative. Only good will come of it.

Original poster
fruitandbarley · 24/04/2024 23:42

Floralnomad · 24/04/2024 23:38

@fruitandbarley if it’s not convenient you’ve started the communication though , whereas a washy let me know if you’d like to arrange something gives them the option to just not bother . My way they have to reply or they are just plain rude .

I understand, but if they're not interested I don't want them to bother, and if they're rude I'd rather not do it anyway.

And it's done now so I can't really change anything. Appreciate your reply though thanks, I'll remember that if I ever try anything like this again.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 24/04/2024 23:38

@fruitandbarley if it’s not convenient you’ve started the communication though , whereas a washy let me know if you’d like to arrange something gives them the option to just not bother . My way they have to reply or they are just plain rude .

Original poster
fruitandbarley · 24/04/2024 23:29

Floralnomad · 24/04/2024 23:20

Next time would it not be easier to just say ‘can x come to tea and to play on x date ‘ and then put your name and number .

I did of course put my phone number, but wanted to keep the arrangement open so we'd have chance to arrange something that suited us both.

OP posts:
Original poster
fruitandbarley · 24/04/2024 23:27

YeahComeOnThen · 24/04/2024 23:20

That was perfectly fine (presuming they're not 15!!)

when did you send it?

if it's been over a week, you could try send a second note but put it in a very brightly coloured envelope. I'd apologise for sending another note, & say you wonder if they had found it in their DS's in his school bag as yours seems to find things lurking, but not for ages!

is there a class WhatsApp or contact list? Then you could text her instead.

They're in reception, and I only sent it 3 days ago. I should probably stop thinking about it really. Thanks

OP posts:
MegsNaiceJam · 24/04/2024 23:26

I would love that, as it means my child is being social and kind to new people. However I am fairly sure it would take a while to get to me as he is rubbish at remembering to get things out of his bag.

Original poster
fruitandbarley · 24/04/2024 23:24

JojoSeawitchHasBeenABadBadGirl · 24/04/2024 23:17

Truth?
I'd internally groan.
I'd think - my kids goes to after school club and socialises there.
They don't need a sodding playdate.
I'd also resent the putting it in my corner to arrange something.
I'd have wanted you to either invite my kid over to your house as it's you that is wanting the playdate OR to tell me what you had in mind, bearing in mind it looks like it's going to be at a weekend, given my kid goes to wrap around care.

but

I'm an anti-social sod who doesn't like this and would rather our kids did the same sports club/hobby or played together online.

Ha! Fair enough, I did sort of say " come round and play" as in at our house, but was conscious they don't know me so wanted to try and work round what they could/wanted to do. My kids 4 and dosent play anything online, and were very rural so the after school clubs are the only practical ones on weekdays. The friend in question stays afterwards for the wrap around care I believe which is why I don't see them.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 24/04/2024 23:24

I'd be pleased my DC was making friends and give you a ring. A nice note to find at the bottom of your DC's bag.

Floralnomad · 24/04/2024 23:20

Next time would it not be easier to just say ‘can x come to tea and to play on x date ‘ and then put your name and number .

JojoSeawitchHasBeenABadBadGirl · 24/04/2024 23:20

You're a better Mum than I am! Brew
Hopefully, they're a more sociable Mum than me Wink

YeahComeOnThen · 24/04/2024 23:20

That was perfectly fine (presuming they're not 15!!)

when did you send it?

if it's been over a week, you could try send a second note but put it in a very brightly coloured envelope. I'd apologise for sending another note, & say you wonder if they had found it in their DS's in his school bag as yours seems to find things lurking, but not for ages!

is there a class WhatsApp or contact list? Then you could text her instead.

Original poster
fruitandbarley · 24/04/2024 23:18

Thanks all, I gave the note to the leader of after school club to pass on as my son and the other child were both there.

I didn't mention not seen them because he was in after school club, just said kept missing them.

Thanks for replying, its been hard relocating and I don't know anyone and feel very awkward in playground with groups of parents already chatting, but been forcing myself to try and speak to people for my children's sake.

Starting to think I'm probably over thinking it now which knowing me is highly likely.

OP posts:
JojoSeawitchHasBeenABadBadGirl · 24/04/2024 23:17

Truth?
I'd internally groan.
I'd think - my kids goes to after school club and socialises there.
They don't need a sodding playdate.
I'd also resent the putting it in my corner to arrange something.
I'd have wanted you to either invite my kid over to your house as it's you that is wanting the playdate OR to tell me what you had in mind, bearing in mind it looks like it's going to be at a weekend, given my kid goes to wrap around care.

but

I'm an anti-social sod who doesn't like this and would rather our kids did the same sports club/hobby or played together online.

StormingNorman · 24/04/2024 23:13

The letter sounds lovely.

MalibuBarbieDreamHouse · 24/04/2024 23:11

Is there a year group WhatsApp? I think that note is perfectly acceptable, but my DD in reception comes home with so much crap art and loose pieces of paper that it’s so easy for it to be missed. I found an accident form in between her books from December this evening!

MFF2010 · 24/04/2024 23:10

I did this exact same thing when I moved, I got a reply 2 weeks later, mum had missed the note in the bag 💐

MrsPerfect12 · 24/04/2024 23:09

It's maybe put in the tray at school, the mum might see it at the end of term, or it might just take a few days.

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 24/04/2024 23:07

If my kids had been given a letter to give to me there's a good chance I would get it in about 3 months time.

I mean there's potential for the wording of the 'tried to catch you on the playground but your kid goes to after school club' to sound critical I suppose, totally depends how you worded it exactly (if you're looking for reasons other than kids being a bit forgetful) but it's far more likely its in with a bunch of other school stuff the kid hasn't handed over, or it's been lost in all the other random paper kids take home.

Allinadayswork80 · 24/04/2024 23:07

Nothing wrong with that at all

ThreeEggOmlette · 24/04/2024 23:06

Not weird, it's fine to send a note.

But I don't know whether to answer YABU for thinking it's weird or YANBU for sending a letter.