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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think some parents are really desperate to appear progressive & cool but it's having a detrimental effect on their kids?

131 replies

Primroseoil · 24/04/2024 22:07

We have plenty of acquaintances that appear to be extremely left wing & it appears to be an attempt to fit in with who they seem "cool" families.. Media types, Boho types.. But it appears to have had a detrimental effect on their children's education, behaviour & attitude? Aibu to blame the parents?

OP posts:
SomethingIn · 24/04/2024 22:41

Or they're simply lying about their jobs and income and covering it up in their misguided twattish way

CookieCrumbles23 · 24/04/2024 22:41

Applescruffle · 24/04/2024 22:34

Ooh I guessed "white Christian" 😄 working class is much more likely!

Show quote history

I thought “Winifred Crustabon” but both of yours make more sense 😃

WhySoManySocks · 24/04/2024 22:41

“Want them using pronouns”??? 😂😂😂

OP I understand what you mean but what you actually said is very funny. Everyone uses pronouns. I used quite a few in this very post!!!

northstars · 24/04/2024 22:39

Your definition of “progressive and left-wing parenting” seems to be changing with each post. I don’t see how any of those things relate to each other tbh. You seem to be looking for reasons to put down these people.

Just own it and accept you don’t like them 🤷🏼‍♀️ not sure why this is worth you getting so worked up!

Flamingogirl08 · 24/04/2024 22:37

Why don't you just come out and say that it's the pronouns and gender critical stuff that you have a problem with?

The other stuff is just silly.

Applescruffle · 24/04/2024 22:36

@Primroseoil you seem quite worked up about it.
Have you considered minding your own business? You'd probably be happier and more relaxed.

AmiablePedant · 24/04/2024 22:36

Er, you appear to be offering cosmic generalizations based on a data set of one (count it, one) family.
And you really don't know what the phrase "champagne socialist" means; a champagne socialist WOULD send their child to a private school. As well as drink the really good champagne.

Original poster
Primroseoil · 24/04/2024 22:36

StellaGibson2022 · 24/04/2024 22:34

Is it possible that you just dont like your friends and need to meet other parents with similar views to yourself or at the very least they are raising their children differently to how you are raising yours?

Why do you think their ruining their children?

A champagne socialist would probably choose private school in fairness. Although the term is very dated.

They're not friends, acquaintances through school.

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 24/04/2024 22:36

LOL it could mean anything - wildly childish, willingly churlish, wants chips!

Original poster
Primroseoil · 24/04/2024 22:35

WildBear · 24/04/2024 22:34

I've seen first hand parents who seem to be scared to not only discipline but even instruct their own children (for example, pick up that takeaway rubbish left outside your bedroom door and put it in an actual bin!) and it seems as though it is very important for them to be 'cool' and seemingly act more like mates than parents. Bit different to what you seem to be getting at, but there you go...

No this too! The kids are very undisciplined, never say please or thank you, parents never prompt them too either..

OP posts:
StellaGibson2022 · 24/04/2024 22:34

Is it possible that you just dont like your friends and need to meet other parents with similar views to yourself or at the very least they are raising their children differently to how you are raising yours?

Why do you think their ruining their children?

A champagne socialist would probably choose private school in fairness. Although the term is very dated.

Applescruffle · 24/04/2024 22:34

ghostyslovesheets · 24/04/2024 22:32

I'll hazard a wild guess WC means Working Class

Ooh I guessed "white Christian" 😄 working class is much more likely!

Persipan · 24/04/2024 22:34

So you just don't like these people, is essentially the issue here?

Original poster
Primroseoil · 24/04/2024 22:34

Craicbaby · 24/04/2024 22:30

You seem to have decided that a bunch of unrelated characteristics/opinions have a detrimental effect on some peoples’ parenting?

I am a WC left wing professional who thinks private education is ethically indefensible, is vocally gender-critical, and gave my child a phone at 11 when he started walking home from school alone. I don’t think any of these have any impact on my parenting.

Gender critical as in you believe there are two sex? Female & male? These parents are not like that & have taught their kids to believe there's like 60 genders & wanted them using pronouns!

OP posts:
WildBear · 24/04/2024 22:34

I've seen first hand parents who seem to be scared to not only discipline but even instruct their own children (for example, pick up that takeaway rubbish left outside your bedroom door and put it in an actual bin!) and it seems as though it is very important for them to be 'cool' and seemingly act more like mates than parents. Bit different to what you seem to be getting at, but there you go...

ghostyslovesheets · 24/04/2024 22:33

well maybe get new friends as you obviously don't like them OP

CammyChameleon · 24/04/2024 22:33

Is that the worst you've got? No private school, phone at 8, eldest child thinks their social media is cringe?

ghostyslovesheets · 24/04/2024 22:32

I'll hazard a wild guess WC means Working Class

Original poster
Primroseoil · 24/04/2024 22:32

@TTPD they could afford it but left their child at the local primary rather than changing to the lovely private which would have suited better as they could not justify supporting private education.
Also very anti homework & their children don't do any. The parents boast about it like it's a badge of honour.
Have extemely high expectations of their dc in school & extracurriculars & can't understand why their underperforming...

OP posts:
Applescruffle · 24/04/2024 22:31

Craicbaby · 24/04/2024 22:30

You seem to have decided that a bunch of unrelated characteristics/opinions have a detrimental effect on some peoples’ parenting?

I am a WC left wing professional who thinks private education is ethically indefensible, is vocally gender-critical, and gave my child a phone at 11 when he started walking home from school alone. I don’t think any of these have any impact on my parenting.

What is WC, please?

ghostyslovesheets · 24/04/2024 22:31

@Craicbaby are you me?!

Craicbaby · 24/04/2024 22:30

You seem to have decided that a bunch of unrelated characteristics/opinions have a detrimental effect on some peoples’ parenting?

I am a WC left wing professional who thinks private education is ethically indefensible, is vocally gender-critical, and gave my child a phone at 11 when he started walking home from school alone. I don’t think any of these have any impact on my parenting.

Beeebabababom · 24/04/2024 22:29

You clearly don't hold the same views as them. So of course you're not going to agree with how they bring up their kids.

TTPD · 24/04/2024 22:28

Primroseoil · 24/04/2024 22:22

Basically extremely anti private schools (refusing to move one of theirs to the local school because it's against their principals, their child was really badly bullied), giving them phones at age 8 because the other families did...
Basically they are acting as champagne socialists to fit in & very condescending of those who don't align with their views.
Both parents have their pronouns on their social media & linkdin & have tried to drum gender ideology into their kids. Their eldest has asked them to remove the pronouns as it's cringe.

I think a champagne socialist would be willing to send their child to a private school tbh.

ghostyslovesheets · 24/04/2024 22:26

Ah so you specifically mean your friends - thank goodness - I was thinking being left wing was another tick I had to add to my 'shit mother' list

I was 8 in 1978 - so all we had was an emergency 2pm which I spend on 1/2p sweets