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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think some parents are really desperate to appear progressive & cool but it's having a detrimental effect on their kids?

131 replies

Primroseoil · 24/04/2024 22:07

We have plenty of acquaintances that appear to be extremely left wing & it appears to be an attempt to fit in with who they seem "cool" families.. Media types, Boho types.. But it appears to have had a detrimental effect on their children's education, behaviour & attitude? Aibu to blame the parents?

OP posts:
Heatherbell1978 · 25/04/2024 06:44

I know a family who meets all this criteria. But the reason they are very anti-private school is because they can't afford it but they pass it off as 'their principles' because, well, they're champagne socialists so don't want to appear that they can't. Except they drink Prosecco. Now I'm confused. But they are annoying if that helps.

EasternStandard · 25/04/2024 06:11

TTPD · 24/04/2024 22:28

I think a champagne socialist would be willing to send their child to a private school tbh.

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Likely, they’re not really committing there

Mt563 · 25/04/2024 06:05

Just once, I'd love to see someone anti-pronouns truly commit and not use any pronouns at all in their writing.

Bennettsister · 25/04/2024 05:55

not sending your child to private school if you can afford it (and how on earth are you privy to their finances?!) is not the same as not being a good parent!!
also I can assure you bullying happens just the same in private schools. You get unpleasant unhappy children everywhere.

qwertyqwertyqwertyqwerty · 25/04/2024 05:54

Primroseoil · 24/04/2024 22:36

They're not friends, acquaintances through school.

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So you barely know these people, you just don't like their politics.

On parenting, I think you can't really tell how it turned out until about 21.

I think it is best to focus on your own kids, I'm sure there are areas you could improve too.

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 25/04/2024 05:52

@Lex345 I am also a northerner I just watch a lot of American box sets 😂

Lex345 · 25/04/2024 05:47

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 25/04/2024 05:37

Oh I thought white collar

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I thought toilet.

But I am a crass northerner.

The north-south divide eh 😂

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 25/04/2024 05:37

ghostyslovesheets · 24/04/2024 22:32

I'll hazard a wild guess WC means Working Class

Oh I thought white collar

Mouse82 · 25/04/2024 05:00

Applescruffle · 24/04/2024 22:34

Ooh I guessed "white Christian" 😄 working class is much more likely!

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Better than mine, my brain always thinks water closet 😂

Simonjt · 25/04/2024 04:25

A champagne socialist would send their child to a private school.

We could afford to send ours private, we choose not to as we don’t agree with private provision (beyond state funded privated SEND schools), we don’t agree with homework so our son didn’t do it at our last school, his current school don’t set homework, academically he is doing very well despite having an additional need. He’s eight and he has a sim free smart phone. He’s well behaved (on the whole).

Odd you know them through school as that means you’re happy to support a school that facilitates bullying, which is very hypocritical.

YoureALizardHarry11 · 25/04/2024 01:33

What on God’s earth has giving a child a phone at eight got to do with being left wing? You sound quite ignorant. I’m left wing and wouldn’t give a child a mobile at that age, I’m gender critical, on the fence about private schools, I don’t really think they should be a thing but I don’t hate people who send their kids as i can understand why. Political leanings are more nuanced than you’re making out.

NoisySnail · 25/04/2024 01:11

Saying you do not agree with private education can be more tactful than saying the local private school is shit. And some are.
True boho socialists would not be giving young children phones at all.

windowframer · 24/04/2024 23:38

Santasbigredbobblehat · 24/04/2024 22:13

Say more please.

Or don't.

TowerStork · 24/04/2024 23:17

You sound like an extremely judgemental person who makes rash generalisations about entire groups of people. Have you considered that the problem lies with your own mentality?

ichundich · 24/04/2024 23:13

You seem to have a chip on your shoulder, about state schools in particular. Private school at primary is quite often a complete waste of money. Also I'm not sure why you're so invested in these people; is it that you are concerned for the welfare of their children? If not, live & let live, etc.

Josette77 · 24/04/2024 23:10

Why is this an issue for you? How does this even affect you?

Also, we all have pronouns.

bombastix · 24/04/2024 23:08

It's not champagne socialists anymore.

You have Prosecco liberals (though Prosecco is considered a bit naff)

Otherwise your champagne socialists are drinking English Sparklers these days

Soggycocopops · 24/04/2024 23:04

It's judgemental smughead far right numpties like you OP that annoy me.

Craicbaby · 24/04/2024 23:03

ghostyslovesheets · 24/04/2024 22:59

Ah no then - go have a hot toddy and a sleep - hope you feel better soon

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Thanks, @ghostyslovesheets. Alas, DH is away, and DS is also sneezy and foul-tempered (and likely to end up in my bed at 3 am…)

ghostyslovesheets · 24/04/2024 22:59

Craicbaby · 24/04/2024 22:54

Not unless you have a stinking head cold and have just sneezed operatically about ten times. I want to go and lie down.

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Ah no then - go have a hot toddy and a sleep - hope you feel better soon

Eggplant44 · 24/04/2024 22:58

Champagne Socialist - someone who earns more than me but doesn't vote Tory.

SouthLondonMum22 · 24/04/2024 22:57

Primroseoil · 24/04/2024 22:36

They're not friends, acquaintances through school.

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The school you think they should've left because of bullying issues?

Craicbaby · 24/04/2024 22:54

ghostyslovesheets · 24/04/2024 22:31

@Craicbaby are you me?!

Not unless you have a stinking head cold and have just sneezed operatically about ten times. I want to go and lie down.

Applescruffle · 24/04/2024 22:52

InWalksBarberalla · 24/04/2024 22:51

This is such a weird mix of complaints - boho types, champagne socialists (haven't heard those terms in a long time), phone supposedly too young (is that a left wing thing?), avoidance of private school and homework, pronouns, media types?
The solution appears to be dtop associating with the specific couple you don't like rather than making out it's some kind of trend.

It's got Disaproving Boomer MIL written all over it.

InWalksBarberalla · 24/04/2024 22:51

This is such a weird mix of complaints - boho types, champagne socialists (haven't heard those terms in a long time), phone supposedly too young (is that a left wing thing?), avoidance of private school and homework, pronouns, media types?
The solution appears to be dtop associating with the specific couple you don't like rather than making out it's some kind of trend.