Annoyed DH gets his mum to give the kids their bath

If the routine isn’t the same on his gym nights, then perhaps a change on tennis night wouldn’t be so different. Maybe just skipping a bath once a week is the solution rather than him dealing with two sets of bathing/stories?

Or change the night you go to MILs house to a different night to the one you play tennis. So tennis night he deals with the dcs at home by himself. The MIL night has to be one where you are there to say no to bath at her house, you go home in time for that.

I' assume your a busy mum with a job so ---drop the feeding and just get the mil to cone to yours.
Stop the nonsense of walking home after a very relaxing bath that's just silly.

Can I ask the people that feed to sleep (breast or bottle) when did your children stop waking in the night?

This is really simple. Tell him if he’s going muck up the kids’ routines then Weds is his night to put all 3 of them to bed. So you feed them and he does the rest.

He’ll change his attitude within a fortnight.

Can’t he just drive you all home? This would eliminate the walking back with wet hair. Which presumably isn’t nice in the recent cold weather.

You have three very young children and a routine that works well for you, it's not acceptable for him to ruin your evening and unsettle the kids so he can take it easy and palm off the childcare responsibilities to his mum.

Tell him he needs to put his kids needs (their calming bedtime routine) above his wants and take the kids home and bath them.

You having a short break to do some exercise shouldn't result in him punishing you by winding your kids up and leaving them to you to settle, that's really unfair.

He doesn't see the issue
"The issue is that in exchange for 1 hour free time I've had to pay with more than that battling three kids to bed because you can't be arsed to do once a week, something I do six times a week"

it seems that you tag-team with stories & bath time, so who does what when he goes to the gym?

You need to drop the bath time on a Wednesday. Then that'll become part of the routine. 6 days a week is more than enough bath times. It seems a bit of a contradiction to be so rigid with bedtimes but so laid back with still breast feeding a 4 year old.

Have you told him baldly “if they walk home after your mum baths them at her house, they lose an hour’s sleep”?

The 4yo is old enough to learn how to cope with a change of routine, but not the twins yet (plus you need your sanity). Maybe the 4yo can stay at granny’s until the end of your class, then you take her home with you. While you’re at class, DH can take the twins home and have them bathed for when you arrive. When you get home, nurse the twins and put them down while DH baths the 4yo, then nurse the 4yo and out her down?

I wouldn't stress about this. Either accept it or say no bath on that day. Don't let anyone tell you when to stop breastfeeding obvs!

Is he making it such hard work for you so you’ll inevitably just give it up and then he doesn’t have to do any of the heavy lifting regarding the routine?

surely you can just tell him that it doesn’t work and it has a knock on effect for everyone and either his mum comes to do baths at your house or they all stay home and god forbid he does what you manage to do each and every night?

I’d ask him straight out is he trying to make Wednesday nights so hideous for you that you give up the tennis. Because ultimately, if your two hours off result in a hellish evening then horrible Thursday, you’ll end up quitting the tennis.

Just skip bath night on Wednesdays

Shush now.

@ontheflighttosingapore I breastfeed my 2.5 year old to sleep still; may I ask why I shouldn't be doing this?

The breastfeeding police are here. Hurrah.

There is zero connection between breastfeeding, even night feeding, and dental decay. Lots of research done on it and yet many healthcare professionals still believe that myth.

Granny needs to come and do bath time at yours. Sorted.

I have 3 AC. The things they look back on with joy are those times that were a bit off the beaten track - bathing at grandma's and going home all snuggled up would have qualified as a bit of a lark. We used to take them all over the place with us; they used to dunk in baths with friends' children and go home in their jamas - they lapped it all up. Routines are all very well as far as they go - but deviations from the norm are much more fun!

Seems like your needs are the most important in what you have posted.

This seems spectacularly unfair to a mum who is breastfeeding THREE children every night. I had a year overlap of feeding my two at night (DS dropped his final bedtime feed just before turning 4) and it was lovely but HARD. It is truly a labour of love, and entirely centered around the DC's needs.

I don't think 1 night of tennis a week is exactly a selfish demand on OP's part 🙄

OP, YANBU to not want the punishment task of calming down your hyped-up kids for an extra hour when you get in from tennis. Your DH and his mum need to figure out how to meet the DC's need for a reasonable bedtime and decent night of sleep!