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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Finders Keepers?? AirPods

136 replies

UnlimitedCake · 24/04/2024 17:47

DS (12) recently found some AirPods (don’t know if they are official) on a beach walk with DH and I. DH and I have now had a big fall out over what DS should do with turn. DH told DS they are his to keep and “quick, put them in your pocket before anyone sees!” I told him he should hand them in and that they are not his to keep. DH called me naive, a “nerd” a wimp etc for wanting to do that. I tried telling our son to imagine if he lost something valuable, he would want it back. DH said that’s not how the world works, anyone could come along and lie and claim them.

I tried again telling our son that the right thing to do is to hand in anything you find but I was then made out that I was “upsetting DS” and being “a misery”

We were meant to take DS out for a meal but the atmosphere was so awful that we came straight home. I ruined everything apparently 🙄

So AIBU?! I know I am not but apparently I am now the bad guy for ruining the evening. So what the hell do you do when one parent tries to teach right from wrong and the other just tramples all over it and fights you all the way?!

OP posts:
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EffinMagicFairy · 25/04/2024 16:13

@Funkyslippers @ToxicChristmas exactly that, my MIL would be talking about it for weeks if she found a pair and someone turned up at the door to claim.

ranchdressing · 25/04/2024 15:02

How sad - people like your DH are making the world such a miserable difficult place to live. This isn't your fault of course. Good luck with DS!

Gingerbee · 25/04/2024 15:00

Theft

SoupChicken · 25/04/2024 14:53

I’m not being funny but why would you want 2nd hand air pods? Mine are disgusting! It’d be like using a 2nd hand toothbrush. I hope whoever has lost them manages to track them.

SomethingIn · 25/04/2024 14:37

I'd just keep hold of them till the owner turns up to collect

ToxicChristmas · 25/04/2024 14:28

Funkyslippers · 25/04/2024 14:22

Why were they baffled?

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Presumably because they had no idea they could be tracked?

Funkyslippers · 25/04/2024 14:22

EffinMagicFairy · 24/04/2024 17:53

DS lost his, fortunately he tracked them and went and picked them up, lovely couple who were baffled when he rang on their door.

Why were they baffled?

Original poster
UnlimitedCake · 25/04/2024 12:13

anothermnuser123 · 25/04/2024 11:08

I agree

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Yes, I agree unfortunately. A big, big problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
UnlimitedCake · 25/04/2024 12:09

Thank you, yes we will do that and try and locate the owner

OP posts:
TM1979 · 25/04/2024 11:15

Haven’t read all the replies but you should make an attempt to find the owner. Social media or hand them in to local police station. I’m speaking as someone who lost my AirPods a couple of years ago. They aren’t cheap and I was gutted. Over the moon when I got them back.

anothermnuser123 · 25/04/2024 11:08

GoodbyeKyle · 24/04/2024 23:45

Sorry OP, you've got a far bigger problem going on here than the AirPods. I'm sure you're aware of this 😕 good luck.

I agree

anothermnuser123 · 25/04/2024 11:05

UnlimitedCake · 24/04/2024 21:08

Quick update - unfortunately nobody has turned up at our door as much as I want them to! Thank you all for your comments - it’s reassuring that there are other decent human beings out there who would try to return possessions to their owner. According to DH I am a pushover, a doormat and naive for doing the right thing. Great parenting from DH! He takes the attitude that it “serves them right for being stupid enough to lose them in the first place” He, of course, would never be stupid enough to lose one of his possessions as he looks after his stuff 🙄

Genuinely how can you stay with someone like this? I mean I cant imagine he was a saint before now but that level of low morals and the way he is speaking to you, how are you remotely attracted to him.

It may seem ott to some but I really couldnt be with someone like that.

Original poster
UnlimitedCake · 25/04/2024 10:59

beachcitygirl · 25/04/2024 10:18

I think your husband is being a total arse & I'll be honest I think I would do something quite extreme to show my child why being decent and honest is the right thing.

I think I would make sure something he cares about is lost.
Either gone for ever or lost for a few weeks and then have someone you know (that he doesn't ) return the item.

Your husband is the bigger problem, parenting with someone with zero morals is going to be tough. No way out of that one.

A solid sit down just the two of you & parenting talked through - if that doesn't work, something he loves or several somethings will need to be lost too

Thanks for all your replies. Just reading them
all now. My plan is to sit down with DS when DH is out of the house and have a long conversation about the morals of the situation, how he would feel if he had lost something he really cares about or has saved up for. I couldn’t deliberately take something of his but I think just having a long long conversation about what you should do in such a situation. I can only do my best to influence him in the right direction as even if I split from DH he would still be in his life as a (negative in some aspects) influence. DS does luckily pull DH up on some of the ridiculous things he says and I can only try and work very hard to influence him for the better. Bloody hard work though when DH undos any positive work I do with DS.

OP posts:
Heartoverhead1 · 25/04/2024 10:30

Airpods aside, it's pretty shocking what you're modeling to ds about relationships.

A husband who feels it's perfectly ok to call you names and browbeat you. And your son learning that he should side with his morally bankrupt dad.

Sugarcoatedalmonds · 25/04/2024 10:25

As a teen, I think I would have kept them tbh or at least wanted to. My parents would have made me hand them in though.

Your husband and his name calling sounds horrible and totally unnecessary. Are you okay?

SilverBranchGoldenPears · 25/04/2024 10:22

Posted too soon

but what an unattractive trait in a partner and father to your children. This would be instant ick territory

PenelopeTitsdrop1990 · 25/04/2024 10:22

I would pop a post on your local Facebook groups saying you've found some air pods and hopefully they'll call round to collect. Don't tell your husband though and let him answer the door. What a disgusting example he's setting his child 😞

SilverBranchGoldenPears · 25/04/2024 10:21

I use tracker on mine and can see them when they are in another country when my daughter borrows them

beachcitygirl · 25/04/2024 10:18

I think your husband is being a total arse & I'll be honest I think I would do something quite extreme to show my child why being decent and honest is the right thing.

I think I would make sure something he cares about is lost.
Either gone for ever or lost for a few weeks and then have someone you know (that he doesn't ) return the item.

Your husband is the bigger problem, parenting with someone with zero morals is going to be tough. No way out of that one.

A solid sit down just the two of you & parenting talked through - if that doesn't work, something he loves or several somethings will need to be lost too

hairbearbunches · 25/04/2024 09:45

If it makes you feel at all better, i have a friend who saw a bloke on her regular commute get up and leave his Air Pods on the seat behind him. She snaffled them and even wore them the next day when he was in the same carriage. People are either honest, or they're not. It's not negotiable depending on the circunstances. Teaching kids that is a very important lesson. If there was no-one about to give them back to, it does become a little more complicated I guess but it's back to being an honest character or not. Handing them in because they're not yours is the only option really. I'm with you OP.

(Having now read the other posts about Air Pods being trackable, I wonder how my friend is getting on with her new kit. What she did was brazen and she deserves to be caught.)

MegaClutterSlut · 25/04/2024 08:42

When ds was 12 he found a diamond engagement ring at the bottom of the swimming pool. It didn't even cross his mind to keep it, he handed it in. The upset owner was very grateful that someone had handed it in. I'm sure the air pod owners will be grateful too but your dh is a twat

Runningbird43 · 25/04/2024 08:03

INeedToClingToSomething · 24/04/2024 23:07

What a horrible example your DH is.setting to your DC. I once found a wallet stuffed with cash in a car park just before Christmas. I obviously handed it in to the local police station. The owners of the wallet were delighted and came round with a bunch of flowers. Which was unexpected but made me feel lovely. A win-win all round!

The police gave your address out to a random person? 😮

Prrambulate · 25/04/2024 07:26

Prrambulate · 25/04/2024 07:26

Whether or not they can be traced depends entirely on what generation of AirPods they are. The older ones can’t be tracked by the owner unfortunately (I almost lost a set this way). They have to he within Bluetooth range of your phone, which the owner won’t be.

If you pop open the case/keep it open and go to Bluetooth on your phone, will you see the name of the airpods?

After charging them, of course.

Prrambulate · 25/04/2024 07:26

Whether or not they can be traced depends entirely on what generation of AirPods they are. The older ones can’t be tracked by the owner unfortunately (I almost lost a set this way). They have to he within Bluetooth range of your phone, which the owner won’t be.

If you pop open the case/keep it open and go to Bluetooth on your phone, will you see the name of the airpods?

Takeoutyourhen · 25/04/2024 06:59

Advertise them on your local local and found/community Facebook page.
Karm will come around for your husband and son, no doubt. A good lesson.