Why do some people let their children behave so badly?

I hate these bloody judgey threads. MN just love to call every other parent but them lazy parents.

My children are well behaved 99% of the time but occasionally they may have an off day or have behaved in a way that isn't usual.
Busy bodies like you will probably see that and think goodness gracious me what an awful child/parent but actually I'm not going to cause a scene and perform to an audience by reprimanding my child in front of everyone for you can all watch.
I will speak to my child in private about their behaviour so we can both understand each other.
If you step in as you put it with your unhelpful views and opinions you will indeed be told to mind your own business or as you put it get a mouthful of abuse.

I have just replied, it is not so much that I don’t think it is frustrating and rude but it isn’t a modern thing, it happens when mine were younger so around 2008+. What can you do about it is really the question not much.

I work in a secondary school where there are after school activities run, which are attended by primary age kids. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve asked parents not to let their waiting children climb all over the gardens and break branches off bushes etc. What is wrong with these people? I either get a mouthful, in which case I escalate it with the club provider, or no response when I do talk to the parents. There’s no acknowledgment that their children are being yobbish and behaving inappropriately.

Some will be poor parents.
Some will have complex issues going on their lives.
Some will just be having a bad day.
Some will be ND
Some will be developmentally behind due to Covid.

But it's great fun to watch from a distance and nake assumptions and judgements. 👍

Because parents should support the school? Or is that a novel concept?

Not just that. That is clearly a child that needs help. Thank God it has a parent who loves him enough to treat him to an ice cream.

I guess psychology is a bit lost on you, probably because your so concerned about what other people do.

If a child behaves badly at school they need to be punished at school for it appropriately. The mess the child has made at school should remain mess at school. Once that child walks out of school and into their home/parents arms they need to know they are on level ground. Why should parents discipline something from school? Mess in school stays mess in school. You wouldn't expect a teacher to discipline something a child had done wrong out of school would you?

You maybe right on a few things. But you obviously have a laid back child who can follow orders easily. Hope for your child's sake they are also able to think for themselves. You need to wind your neck in on some of those points you made.

Queues for theme park rides - how frequently do you go to theme parks for this to be a problem? Yes, it is bloody annoying but it is not a new thing is why I’m trying to illustrate.

i would say that it is unkind to let your children hurt people but scooting in a playground and not hurting people isn’t exactly the end of the world but I suppose if the school has died them not to then it must be a huge problem.

Because there’s no shame any more and people in public service roles have to tiptoe around their ‘service users’ for fear of being complained about/fired

@Goldenbear you don't think pushing in a queue, in full sight of parents, is a problem?

As a teacher I've come to the conclusion many have simply given up on any kind of parenting.

When my DD has a meltdown in public, I have to try and zone out from what other people are thinking. She’s not misbehaving when something triggers her to cry/shout and throw herself to the ground. But some people just see a naughty girl and a mum who should be instantly shutting her up and if I can’t, I’m a shit parent. You can’t always stop a meltdown just like that - sometimes it takes a long time for her to come down from it.

I know your post isn’t about children with SEN, but I know children like my DD get tarred with the same brush. If she has a meltdown in a confined space like a bus for example, you can bet all your money people are judging away!

Clearly no parenting.

If we broke down your criticisms, IMO you are expecting too much. My DC are 17 and 13 so I’m not currently worried about playground queues. Children pushing in for playground equipment it was ever thus I’m afraid. In the scheme of things it is not a massive deal really, same with scooters in the playground, I mean they are playgrounds. Our schools didn’t mind. Car parks sound dangerous but you can’t really change others behaviour only your reaction. I think there is possibly a problem with children being very restricted these days and depending on where you live, I.e low birth rate in your area like mine, there aren’t as many children so they behaviour is not tolerated even though perfectly typical.

I think that children that display childlike behaviour do not all grow up to be problematic teenagers. My DS is an A level student studying Politics, Economics and History, he sometimes used his scooter in the school playground, his sister regularly stayed on her scooter around the local Sainsburys whilst I pulled it not scooting around, they are perfectly respectful and intelligent teenagers.

Lazy, passive, ineffective parenting

These are the only 4 words needed

this

Som parents are bone idle and can't be bothered to discipline their kids. They'll end up regretting it

Indeed. Don’t judge don’t judge…

Ok well how about you do some parenting and then I can’t judge. Novel idea to some I reckon.

And that makes it ok??

Lazy, passive, ineffective parenting. There are more and more absolutely feral kids than ever before. I pray for the teachers of the future.

Those parents will be here defending it soon saying "um you don't know what's going on in their life though" as if that excuses it.

I've noticed recently that it's the kids who are allowed to play out and cycle on the main roads unsupervised at the age of 7/8, the ones who are allowed to wander on the road and not taught road sense, the ones allowed to scoot in the playground and run over peoples feet, the ones allowed to run up and down aisles in the supermarket and smash trolleys into their siblings, these are the ones who are swearing at teachers and being otherwise disruptive in school.

Mine are NOT angels by any means but I see the behaviour of some kids in public and think maybe they aren't so bad after all!

Why do some children grow up to be judgey fuckers?

People in general are so bloody rude I find. But yes kids definitely have more freedom to express themselves now, certainly with my own DD I let things slide more than my own parents would have. I would never allow her to be rude to others or behave dangerously but now we are at pre-teen moodiness I do try to have more patience with her than I want to some days. But being a parent is HARD. You're told constantly to validate them or you're setting them up for a lifetime of mental health and self esteem issues. My own DD was the perfect child & I was very smug about it until she hit 8 then I quickly realised it gets much harder & all the boundaries in the world won't stop tears & mood swings.