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Male Nursery Staff

616 replies

herei · 24/04/2024 15:59

My child is in Nursery after my return to work. They nursery chain have been hiring make staff recently. My child's nursery has 3 male staff.

My daughter's nappy was changed by a male member of staff. For my own personal reasons I feel upset about this but not sure if I can even say or do anything. I just don't like it.

OP posts:
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9
Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 17:16

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 17:09

Changes in attitudes around this time? Cases making the news and making people think? Even news about male perpetrators can make people come forward about female abuse.

Attitudes have definitely changed in the past 10-20 years. When I was at school the idea a female teacher was sleeping with a male student was hilarious, he had a "cougar" etc. Now it would be rightly called out for child abuse. A male teacher sleeping with a female student would have been a dirty old man straight away even back then

In a timeframe of 12 months? Really, a societal shift in attitudes so profound that it radically changes the disclosure of abuse by women in particular in less than a year?

Does that sound right to you? Come on now.

DeepRegret · 25/04/2024 17:12

What an amazing coincidence that it happened to happen at the same time as self id.

I'd respond to the blonde hair tosh but my eyes are rolling round at record speed.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 17:09

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 17:03

What, a huge increase in 2016. All of a sudden people are more likely to disclose that their abusers were women. What would be the catalyst?

Edited

Changes in attitudes around this time? Cases making the news and making people think? Even news about male perpetrators can make people come forward about female abuse.

Attitudes have definitely changed in the past 10-20 years. When I was at school the idea a female teacher was sleeping with a male student was hilarious, he had a "cougar" etc. Now it would be rightly called out for child abuse. A male teacher sleeping with a female student would have been a dirty old man straight away even back then

Alalalalalongalalalalalonglonglilong · 25/04/2024 17:07

If you are going to use statistics to back up this idea surely this could be done in more detail, based on research. Rather than blindly say men are more at risk of being abusers, why not create a profile based on actual evidence of sex offenders. Maybe the findings can narrow down a type. For example, if most offenders are over 5' 9, have blue eyes and are Catholic etc. That way the profile group could be excluded from the industry, allowing the majority still enter the labour market and also safeguarding children.

If you are reading that thinking, but that's unfair that's precisely my point. But think about why is it more fair to exclude a larger portion of population than a smaller more specific group, is it not the same thing?

Personally I don't think discrimination can be justified on the basis of statistics. This attitude was used for so long to justify class and race divisions. The middle classes say - look at these people, they are uneducated, maybe they are just stupid or lazy. Let's not waste our time and money giving them opportunities. And so 'those people' were marginalised, experienced poverty, poor education etc. Roll on a generation and they are more likely to be involved in crime gangs, abuse alcohol and substances and all else that comes with being in a poverty trap, and so the middle classes say, look at them, we were right all along and we have the statistics to prove it. And so it goes on, only now the discrimination is justified. Of course this is different, men are not marginalised I'm talking about use of statistics in general.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 17:03

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 17:02

I expect it's contentious because some statistics will be dealing with sentences, some disclosures and some may be making assumptions about nondisclosed offending rates.

Or because people are pulling numbers out of their arses

Otherwise they could link to records to back it up

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 17:03

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 17:00

Or maybe it was when more people felt empowered to come forward...

Or can we dismiss sudden increases in male perpetrators for the same reason?

What, a huge increase in 2016. All of a sudden people are more likely to disclose that their abusers were women. What would be the catalyst?

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 17:02

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 16:59

The % being quoted in this thread of male offenders

It jumps all over the place

I expect it's contentious because some statistics will be dealing with sentences, some disclosures and some may be making assumptions about nondisclosed offending rates.

Marblessolveeverything · 25/04/2024 17:00

5128gap · 25/04/2024 16:07

So, in all honesty now, if you wanted a babysitter for your baby, would you choose 60 year old Maureen, or 60 year old Bernard? Neither of whom you know well, but its an emergency.

I hire babysitters male and female from local teaching college. All so far have been ones recommended by friends and are due to their profession/training Garda cleared. I am not a hypocrite and I am now at the stage where childcare is rarely required.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 17:00

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:46

Or maybe 2016 was the year when the female paedophiles thought, let's ramp our offending up to 11 - far more likely than a change in recording, right?

Or maybe it was when more people felt empowered to come forward...

Or can we dismiss sudden increases in male perpetrators for the same reason?

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 17:00

What cases, that poster was looking at the scale of disclosures made over the telephone. Of course I don't know if, how many were transgender.

How would you account for a radical rise between 2015 and 2016? Were women just particularly evil fom that year?

5128gap · 25/04/2024 16:59

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 25/04/2024 16:26

I'm the same, as in over all my years the only doctors /nurses I've had a problem with, whether that's with them being abusive or absolutely useless, it's always been women ones.
All the men have been lovely.
Does that mean because of my experiences, I should say I don't want a woman near me?
Of course not, as I don't automatically think they all pose a risk to me just because of their sex.

Well you'd be very silly if you did, because you must know that your experiences of being abused multiple times by female medical professionals, encountering multiple incompetent female doctors and NEVER having had a single problem with a male in those roles, is probably the hens teeth of patient experience. I doubt even the most enthusiastic misogynist could hand on heart say the same.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 16:59

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:43

The percent of male csa offenders or the percent of men working in childcare?

The % being quoted in this thread of male offenders

It jumps all over the place

jannier · 25/04/2024 16:57

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:41

Colour me suspicious that the rise in child sex offending in women radically increases at the exact same point that the recording of sex is conflated with gender.

Have you read the cases? Do they say the perps were transgender? Do you regularly read case reviews? Some of us have to.

jannier · 25/04/2024 16:55

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:08

Put it this way, if there was an equal risk of men and women committing sexual abuse in childcare settings - you would be able to point to 98 examples of women for every two men that I could find - notwithstanding the fact that because it's such an anomaly in a man bites dog fashion, that the abuse perpetrated by women is more likely to be reported in the media. And you have an article here that links to four, one of which is unnamed and undated, between the abuse of Earl Spencer in his childhood days in the 70s and the current day.

Could you link to 98 women sexual abusers in childcare settings, for every 2 men that I find?

Don't you think that the fact so many women won't believe a victim can be abused by a woman means it doesn't get reported or it's brushed off. The number of cases are increasing not because they have only just started to happen but finally people are starting to think women can be evil too. Just like the me too movement.
Most cases people don't even know of because we're wrapped up in hating men rather than protecting potential victims.

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:48

jannier · 25/04/2024 16:46

The scale of sexual abuse in nursery v the scale of nurses that hurt patients ? The scale of all abuse in nursery v the number of perpetrators that are male? The number of women involved in grooming and entrapment? Which scale shall we talk about or are you only interested in sexual abuse physical, emotional and neglect doesn't interest you because in nursery that's mainly done by women? How do you know what else those women do?

When I was at school a couple of girls were well known for touching other girls and forcing them to do the touching. Hands down underwear etc.

No, the scale of offending, once you account for the size of the female population in early years childcare work versus the size of the male population in childcare work.

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:46

Or maybe 2016 was the year when the female paedophiles thought, let's ramp our offending up to 11 - far more likely than a change in recording, right?

jannier · 25/04/2024 16:46

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 14:05

I'm not sure you understand scale.

The scale of sexual abuse in nursery v the scale of nurses that hurt patients ? The scale of all abuse in nursery v the number of perpetrators that are male? The number of women involved in grooming and entrapment? Which scale shall we talk about or are you only interested in sexual abuse physical, emotional and neglect doesn't interest you because in nursery that's mainly done by women? How do you know what else those women do?

When I was at school a couple of girls were well known for touching other girls and forcing them to do the touching. Hands down underwear etc.

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:44

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 16:43

Ahhh

And there's the transphobia. I expected it sooner

Oh bless.

Another inconvenient truth.

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:43

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 16:41

Also it's rather amusing that the % of males had changed between 80% to 98% to 95%

All without any actual data to back this statistics up

The percent of male csa offenders or the percent of men working in childcare?

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 16:43

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:41

Colour me suspicious that the rise in child sex offending in women radically increases at the exact same point that the recording of sex is conflated with gender.

Ahhh

And there's the transphobia. I expected it sooner

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:41

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 16:38

Well this was the first article I found so I can look for more

But as stated in the article there were over 100 women convicted in 2016, the last year details were available for when the article was written, and this was a massive increase on the previous data...

And, as the article also says, there's a good chance women get away with it far more than men do

Colour me suspicious that the rise in child sex offending in women radically increases at the exact same point that the recording of sex is conflated with gender.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 16:41

Also it's rather amusing that the % of males had changed between 80% to 98% to 95%

All without any actual data to back this statistics up

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:39

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 25/04/2024 16:26

I'm the same, as in over all my years the only doctors /nurses I've had a problem with, whether that's with them being abusive or absolutely useless, it's always been women ones.
All the men have been lovely.
Does that mean because of my experiences, I should say I don't want a woman near me?
Of course not, as I don't automatically think they all pose a risk to me just because of their sex.

Personal experience aside, female patients are less likely to die under the care of female doctors, and female patients are less likely to die under the knife of a female surgeon. It's just facts getting in the way of a feel-good narrative.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 25/04/2024 16:38

Desecratedcoconut · 25/04/2024 16:08

Put it this way, if there was an equal risk of men and women committing sexual abuse in childcare settings - you would be able to point to 98 examples of women for every two men that I could find - notwithstanding the fact that because it's such an anomaly in a man bites dog fashion, that the abuse perpetrated by women is more likely to be reported in the media. And you have an article here that links to four, one of which is unnamed and undated, between the abuse of Earl Spencer in his childhood days in the 70s and the current day.

Could you link to 98 women sexual abusers in childcare settings, for every 2 men that I find?

Well this was the first article I found so I can look for more

But as stated in the article there were over 100 women convicted in 2016, the last year details were available for when the article was written, and this was a massive increase on the previous data...

And, as the article also says, there's a good chance women get away with it far more than men do