Male Nursery Staff

I wouldn’t allow my daughter to be intimately examined by a male doctor without my presence nor would I change her nappy in front of male family members such as grandfather or uncle. So neither would I have been happy with a male nursery worker changing her nappy.

It’s not men working in those environments that’s the problem. I fully encourage men in a daycare setting. It’s the INTIMATE care that’s the issue. In care homes for the elderly, women are allowed to request no male workers for their intimate care and it’s not a problem. Men still work there, it doesn’t stop them doing the job just because they refrain from doing some women’s intimate care. So why is it an issue for so many people on here when it comes to a nursery? Especially when children are unable to give consent.

So your only concerned about sexual risks not all risks.....in a nursery children are most at risk from non sexual abuse....being neglected, shouted at, hit, left unfed, dirty etc. at home their are more cases of sexual abuse.
Why is maternal fear around children so focused on sexual abuse.

Alternatively the famous quote often discussed in law "lies, damn lies and statistics" meaning be careful of your sources look at who has published them, consider their motives.

So you'd be ok with your primary age school child being looked after by a male doctor if in hospital, or if at school?

Maybe there's a difference for you, but some on the thread think men shouldn't be caring for children at all, regardless of whether they're non verbal or not.

There’s a difference between not wanting your children around men and not wanting non-verbal small children to undertake intimate care tasks.

We allow adults to choose if they would prefer the same sex nurse or doctor.

Are you planning to shelter DD from males forever?

An excellent policy.

If it's primarily sexual abuse that people are worried about then all nurseries should be operating in a way that makes this impossible. It's a long time since DS was at nursery but I assume this happens anyway. I wouldn't be particularly worried about males changing nappies if it's in a communal area, with other staff present.

Other than that, nursery aged children should have intersections with both male and female staff. Unfortunately there's no guarantee that female staff are always going to harm the little ones in their care.

I just said that children are safer in the care of women more generally. This is true. You added all the other stuff to it. It's not my job to say what people should or shouldn't do or what risks they should accept. I'm just mapping out the clear and inconvenient difference.

Like I say, parents don't have to put their assessment of risk through an equality lens. They can choose a different childcare provider - and I think we agree on that point. And it's not your place to demand that they ignore the facts under their nose when the make that informed decision.

I own a nursery. I would never in a million years allow a male member of staff to change a nappy. That’s for everyone’s protection, by the way, including his.

I suppose I might be accused of discrimination, but I can put up with that. Funnily enough, no one has ever complained, mind you.

No, that's not what I said at all if you read it again.
I said the attitude women to be at home as they're the caring ones and men to be away from looking after children as they're incapable or potential paedos is a harmful outdated attitude.
You're putting your spin on what I said.

but this is insane!! it's not 'outdated' to say that men are a much MUCH higher risk to children, than women. Men haven't stopped offending since the 50s, so why would we pretend that they have? for the sake of 'equality'? that ISN'T what equality is about

So, you agree that men are a riskier prospect around children than women but it is too harmful to admit it because that belief is outdated?

@GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight

I think it’s right that there should be male nursery staff. I work in a nursery with one and he is great. Yes - he provides a good role model.

When it comes to changing children, he does so in the presence of others or will defer to a female member of staff.
I’ve also worked with male teachers in KS1 - but in all cases, they deferred to a female to change a child, or left the class if girls were changing for PE.
As a parent, probably based on my own experiences (growing up/as a teen) I would have not wanted an unknown male member of staff to change my child’s nappy. It would have influenced my childcare choice. I can understand the OP’s reservations and think she should have a choice - similar to requesting a female doctor for an intimate examination. Ideally I think it should be a key worker who you build a trusting relationship with.

My feelings aren't hurt though?!
I just think the attitude that women are the carers and should be at home looking after the children and men have no place looking after them in a professional setting as they are incapable or potential paedophiles is outdated and harmful.

Well, I said that children are at less risk being cared for by women. Can you explain how that statement is demonstrably false using actual statistics and not your hurt feelings?

not true about lions not attacking unprovoked either!!!! you seems determined to come to incorrect decisions regarding safety 🤣

I don't know 🤷

Keep the women at home doing the childcare, as that's where they belong looking after the kids, as they're "caring."
Men wanting to help are potential paedos and should stick to the "man" stuff.
Are we in the 50s?!.
Some of these attitudes certainly are.

Jesus, I'm explaining. I couldn't give a shit about stereotypes. Children are better served being cared for by women from a purely statistical perspective.

I'm not complaining? 😕 Why do you keep making this about feelings?
This is a statement of fact that women are the majority carers and professionals around children.

Which tells you entirely about how much time women spend as mothers, childcare workers and paediatric nurses compared to men

Then when some men try to break away from that, and challenge stereotypes/want to make a difference to a child's life, they're treated with suspicion and that they must be paedos.
No wonder women do so much of the childcare when there's still some in society who can't comprehend men wanting to look after children too.