Male Nursery Staff

All the men I know including my father and uncles were involved with their children from day one. DH and both grandfathers changed many nappies, gave bottles and bath time.

Based on what exactly?

To those saying there are cameras...is the footage reviewed every single day? If not, I can't see how they help tbh.

If I was looking at my own children, my middle one (who is a boy) is x1000 better at dealing with small children than his sister. That's why he is a young leader for Beavers.

People with attitudes like yours make me sick, if my son wanted to work in care or with children he wouldn't be better or worse at it because he has a penis, he would be amazing at it because he has levels of empathy and compassion beyond most adults and because he genuinely cares about the person in front of him. His sister on the other hand (who you would be fine with because she's female) would do the bare minimum asked of her because while she can be caring and compassionate if it suits her, she finds small children overwhelming and hard to cope with. She also used to drag her dolls around by one leg and make sure they smacked every step going up and down the stairs while he was always worried about tucking them in and keeping them safe.

When it comes to any caring profession some people are better suited for it than others.

A child is something like 4000 times
more likely to be sexually abused by a family member than a stranger.

Statistically men commit 98% of sexually violent crimes so I get where the OP is coming from.

DBA checks and safeguards are there for a reason.

I used to work at a nursery , we had a man ( one of the owners) working there and over the years we had 2 young men on placement for a couple of months. They were great, however the set up of the nursery was such that no one was ever alone/ out of sight with the children. The only area that was through a closed door was the toilets and nappy changing area and we had a camera there. It’s a shame that you feel that way, the men were absolutely loved by the kids and when we had a couple of dads say they didn’t want their boys playing with dolls and prams and ‘girls’ toys we would point to the men playing with the dolls and prams and small children and raise an eyebrow, it would help put those dads back in their box! They were also excellent role models for the children many of whom didn’t have any men/decent men in their lives. The only objection along the lines you are alluding to was when we had 2 lesbians working there and one mum said she didn’t want them changing her daughters nappy. How would you feel about that op?

To all the people saying move your child to another nursery, how do you know the new nurseries next hire won't be male? The nursery cannot reject applicants because they are male, nor can they change their procedures because they employ a male

I wouldn't like it either OP.

Dads don’t tend to get involved until their progeny can throw and catch
You are certainly not normal, but I'm sorry for your life experience and hope you can find a good way to exist in the future.
My DS did tennis coaching children (fully DBS checked)when he was a student but only taught from age 7 upwards. He said he didn't want to coach the younger ones as "none of the men do". It is so sad that males feel inhibited to take up roles with younger children.

My ds nursery keyworker is male and he is the most requested keyworker in the nursery, I absolutely trust him changing my sons pull up and helping him attempt to use the toilet.

@LambertndButler statistically speaking, a child is significantly more likely to be abused by a male family member than someone unrelated to them. I think the last stats I saw were that something like 85% of CSA was perpetrated by family/extended family members. Could have changed but irrespective of that your comments are truly truly appalling and sexist.

I think you’re goading so good bye.

Haven't rtft but OP you are really upset.

I would be concerned because I know men pose a greater risk and predators will seek out places where they can abuse, BUT I would balance this with knowing it was still very unlikely due to other staff being observant, safeguarding procedures etc.
But you are very upset, it sounds like due to something that has happened to you maybe, rather than due to fear about these specific staff? (If it is because you suspect these particular staff then obviously you could report and remove your child)

I suggest you need to try to separate those feelings from what is happening here.
Maybe you could talk to a trusted staff member and ask if only female staff could change the nappies, and explain it's for your own reasons?

Motivation? We have males in other caring professions - nurses, midwives, care workers, doctors - why not nursery staff? Children need to see males and females in all roles.

Why do the safeguarding measures need to be "beyond what is in place for a female" surely if those safeguarding procedures are robust then they're enough for nursery staff of either sex? Or are you implying they should, for whatever reason, be more relaxed if it's solely female carers?

Little Ted’s Nursery in Plymouth. I rest my case as to why you need to wobble your head and this is utter nonsense.

Listen, you don't have to be an equal opportunities parent. You can acknowledge that men are a bigger risk to children than women and move your child into a different setting. The hurt feelings of other people or society in general are immaterial.

Surely the solution here is to talk to the nursery about safeguarding. If you are happy then great and if not raise concerns / remove your child.

Don't assume only men abuse though. And don't assume that statistics always give an accurate picture. More girls are abused OR more girls report being abused (you can't know which statement is true).

Personally I understand the concerns but I'd want to be happy with the safeguarding regardless of the gender of the carers.

Are you for real? This is such a horrible comment. My son is 16 and does voluntary work every week in an infant school, he underwent a DBS; online safeguarding training and training on site before he could start. He is now thinking about becoming a teacher. The children get so excited when he turns up each week, no wonder there aren’t many male teachers in early year settings with attitudes like this.

Related males are much less of a risk than unrelated males.

Is that true? I didn't think it was.

Wow.