Male Nursery Staff

No point in asking people here, just speak to the nursery manager and tell them you are uncomfortable with it. Rightly or wrongly so, you are entitled to your opinion and request that the male member of staff is not to change your child's nappy. You can only ask and see what they say.

Because only women should work low paid jobs?

I don’t understand why you’ve started this thread OP.

If you are not happy with any of the staff, then take your child out.

You say they’re meant to do it in pairs but you know for a fact that they don’t always - this alone would be a huge red flag for me and I’m not sure why you think they’d follow your requests if they don’t follow the rules as it is.

Effeminate?

FFS.

You wouldn't be happy with males providing childcare for your child yet your DP has a "proven track record of working with children" presumably those parents didn't have the same reservations you do then. Tad hypocritical that it's ok for your partner to work with children but not other men...

You can request it and see what they suggest, if they can guarantee it then look elsewhere, they have to protect their staff too.

Also some agency workers change nappies, particularly the qualified ones. Often as a parent you won't know who has changed your child's nappy.

You are not being unreasonable and you should be able to request that he does not change her nappy without offending anyone or being asked to leave.

When I was on the labour ward, there was a lady in the bed next to me who requested a female doctor to tend to her. When I contacted my GP surgery for a gynae issue, I was informed beforehand that the doctor was male and was given the option to change to a female. Hell I even had the choice to switch to a female masseuse at the spa once, yet you are not supposed to have a say on who changes the nappy on your completely vulnerable, non verbal baby girl!! She can't speak for herself, if you are not comfortable, you are absolutely within your rights to refuse.

@herei

Yes - if you see the rest of my post, I do agree with you. I wouldn’t send my DD to a nursery with male members of staff who change nappies.

I can empathise op because I didn't like the idea of a stranger changing my child's nappy at all, even if it was nursery staff (male or female) and I have a little boy. I was fortunate enough to be able to stay at home and sent my child to nursery potty trained when he was older.
He has had the odd toileting accident and staff cleaned him up, including a male staff member but at that point my son was able to walk and talk and tell me about what had happened if he wet himself at nursery.

In my opinion children should have key workers in a nursery setting and you should have an ongoing communication with anyone who changes your child's nappy, not just see a random name written down. If you've never spoken to this man it will be adding to your anxiety.

The fact that 98% of the early years childcare workforce is female and you have to go back to 2009 to find female sex abuser Vanessa George and that 2% of the workforce is male and in the shortest Google search ever I can give you a Burton man in October 2023 should tell you something about sex, child sex crimes and the risk of offending.

The main issue here is that there appears to be poor practice in place in the nursery, which you’ve witnessed

Thats an issue even if all staff are female.

Have you flagged up the solo nappy changing to the manager?

Honestly op, no I wouldn't entrust my child to that nursery.

I work in education by trade. When I was younger and naive I would be very outspoken about my super progressive views. I even questioned male members of staff who wanted to swap with me for pe so they wouldn't see the girls changing. In 15 years I never came across a man who would do this and they all point blank refused. Oh how horrid and sexist I thought.

Then I started working in eyfs and realised how difficult it is for children to communicate and how much self care they need.

Staff I had previously been at loggerheads with asked me to do my own safeguarding research. This coupled with having my own child made me realise my own feelings about equality are not as important as safeguarding children.

Male staff absolutely have their place in eyfs. But I do think they should be targeted roles and not self care (yes I know that means women will be left with the shit work, it used to annoy me no end my male colleagues never had to cover in nappyland! I now realise how that simple thing was a safeguarding measure).

For myself with nursery I wouldn't send a child in to a nursery where a male provided intimate care.

I also didn't send my children in till three and they could comfortably name their private parts, know what should be happening in a nappy change and which areas are private.

I don't let male relatives change my child, apart from my husband who I trust and has a proven track record of working with children. I don't let adults outside the immediate family see my children in the bath.

My husband was abused by a male babysitter who was deemed harmless by the community so he agrees with me.

I will review my position when 98 % of males don't commit sexual crimes. Safeguarding first. Social justice Feelgoods second.

Yes, I realise I will never take it down to zero, but am not putting a male desire to work in a low paid field dominated by women above my own knowledge on lowering risk.

And it's very annoying that posters always say how wonderful male eyfs workers are. Ime, it's because they don't follow the curriculum and just play Disney dad all day and ignore any professionalism.

So I'd move them. I'm a coward though so I probably wouldn't say why.

It's fine for you not to like it.
However, the nursery are allowed, and imo should, employ both women and men in the childcare role.

If you don't like t your option is to re,over your child from the nursery and find alternative female-only childcare.

@CoatRack

Speak for yourself. I don't want any man "attempting childcare". No fucking thanks.

And when it comes to my own child (rather than some force-fed theoretical collection of ideas that tend to corrupt sanity these days ) I did indeed choose not to send my DS to a particular nursery after spotting two male workers who, to make matters worse, looked still in their teens sort of young. I wouldn't hire a male nanny or anyone that young- I can't see why would I make a different decision when it comes to choosing a nursery.

I was groomed and sexually abused by a male teacher/tutor at 10 years of age. Taking away the opportunity from predators to do similar to my child, has been a cornerstone of my parenting. There is no ideology in this world that would make me ashamed of it. None.

Then don't use a nursery or look after the child yourself. Just because you think it's wrong doesn't mean it's wrong, this a a YOU problem, not the nursery.

In principle, I think men should be in Early years and it should be equal. They should be there as role models.

However, when I was looking for a nursery for DD - I rejected one nursery as it had two male members of staff. Of course, I didn’t state that as a reason - but it did influence me.

Similarly, even within my friends and family - I’d only want DD’s Dad, and no other male to change a nappy. It is an intimate thing to do.

I’ve worked in nurseries, and I do feel nappy changing needs : a clear policy, proper training etc. I want another member of staff around if I change, not only to protect the child, but to protect me if an accusation was made.

Unfortunately - if an accusation was made, or in extremely worst case scenario - something DID happen, it is statistically most likely to be a male involved. Males do tend to commit these type of offences more than women (although you can find exceptions) - or it’s a woman being influenced by a man.

@herei

If it’s a nursery that is good with keeping records and has a strong enough staff team that they never have to use agency staff, they deserve their parents to trust them.

Haven't read through the whole thread but you feel how you feel.
I would be surprised if this worker was changing nappies alone though with nobody in sight. We always had the door propped open or other staff were within watching distance if that makes sense

He’s no more of a stranger to your child than anyone else in the nursery that you haven’t met. You didn’t engage the services of a woman, you chose to use a nursery. That means there could be plenty of people you’ve never met changing your child’s nappy. Nurseries use agency staff all the time even if you don’t do handovers with them.

It’s fine for you to be uncomfortable with it, but this is one of those times where you just have to take it or leave it. You don’t get to change it.