Male Nursery Staff

Oh, I do it all the time. Especially when emotional incontinence looks like emotional blackmail.

She is probably the person who when her husband spends 10 minutes away from the kids goes on mumsnet and calls him lazy and ignorant.

Men caring for and looking after children is strange?
Why?

As long as you accept your misandry for what it is, you can think whatever you like.

@Desecratedcoconut and so my feelings are not valid? I think you will find they are. How dare you try to belittle someone for their feelings.

I think the DfE ruled several years ago that nurseries should not accede to parental requests that only females should change nappies in nursery settings.

You can't request this. Maybe you should look at childminders instead? We use a cm and she is brilliant, her staff are her adult daughters, she has a good number of children there and they don't go out. She has set up a mini family run nursery style care in her house, she's great.

Unfortunately though, you accept risk when you leave your children with anyone, look at the recent case of the woman who killed the little baby by strapping her face down on a bean bag. No one is 100% safe, statistically your dh is more likely to abuse your daughter than a nursery worker. It's a really scary shit world sometimes.

@GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight

Do you think women should/shouldn’t have the right to choose a female doctor? Is it regressive to give that choice?

Yes I realise that. That's why I have minimised the risk as much as practically possible.

I realise the risk is not zero. It's significantly lower than someone who has multiple males providing intimate care.

YABVU
Has he done anything to make you wary, or is it just the fact he's a man you don't like?
It sounds the latter so YABVU if so
It's backwards, regressive stereotypical attitudes like this that keep women in the kitchen doing the cooking, cleaning and caring roles, whereas the men are to do the "big man," work instead of being perfectly capable of being caring for children too.

@DeepRegret my parents knew my uncle for "years and years" didn't stop him from abusing me...

We have a male member of staff at nursery and the children LOVE it!!! We're in a very derives area and so many of our children have never seen a man read a book. It's really important for so many of them.

nappy changes in nurseries are not performed in private, and a nappy changing log is kept.

@Marblessolveeverything

I do understand what you are saying, but until there is equality or ideally - complete eradication - of these types of crimes being committed against children, there will be - very sadly - these reservations.

It’s statistically - and overwhelmingly - men who commit these type of crimes.

This is a lot like that rule about misogyny...the worst thing about misogyny is that it makes other men look bad? It seems male sexual violence seems to follow the pattern

No I trust my husband and have taken steps so I know the risk from female strangers is minimised.

As I said. The risk is not zero. I am happy I have lowered the risk to make it unlikely.

And honestly, crbs means nothing. No I wouldn't trust a crb to catch the wrong uns.

I don't feel the need to fawn over men who work with children though. When women do it, it's just a job so I'm not going to be sad if men are not worshipped for it.

You either trust the nursery or you don't
If don't trust a staff member, you don't trust the nursery

@Marblessolveeverything I'm raising a son and it's depressing reading some of these comments.

Oh Jesus, I'll raise you three boys and I'm not crying about statistics.

In our jurisdiction you couldn't as it is protected under equality legislation. As a SA survivor I do understand but I am a mother to two wonderful sons and I am crying reading the vile discrimination if they chose to have a career with children.

I kindly suggest you all engage with support. Because there are some of you who will raise sons and they deserve to be treated equally.

I hope you secure a solution @herei .

You trust your husband as much as a female stranger?

Well no, mainly because he's my actual partner I've known for years and years and I can trust him as much as anyone. Certainly as much as a female stranger.

I didn't say the risk was zero. I lowered the risk to an acceptable rate. No other male in my family or anywhere else changes a nappy so the risk is brought down to an acceptable level for me, personally.

It's fine if you believe differently. We all make different choices using the information we have.

I’m not saying women commit more sexual abuse I’m just saying that it’s not only men. There are lots of men and women I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving my kids with

https://www.westyorkshire.police.uk/news-appeals/woman-jailed-nine-years-child-sexual-abuse

@herei

I think just have a word with a member of staff, or ring them up. I think just as @Starabella states : you can request a female doctor as an adult, so you’d like to make similar request for female nappy changer for DD as a child.
Having worked in a nursery, we’d definitely accommodate specific parental requests with nappy changing.

Your kids are statistically more likely to be abused by the bloke you share your bed with. If you freak out about a male in a nursery or a hospital or a classroom…….Why bother with fathers for your children? That’s the greatest risk, so just get some sperm down the bank and be done with it.