Male Nursery Staff

Accusing someone of “discrimination” is not some kind of argument ending ‘gotcha’. We are all pro some forms of discrimination - I assume nobody would be happy to have a blind surgeon operating on them? That’s disablist, but also totally justifiable and sensible.

@CoatRack your analogy only holds if you believe that black men commit child sexual abuse at higher rates than white men. I do not believe this is true. THAT is the perfectly sensible reason for discriminating against men in favour of women looking after non verbal children.

Your child is lucky though, as not everyone has that - as in two positive male role models in their life.
Mine do, and I did as well, but surely you can see that not everyone has that?
So no nursery and school aren't responsible for providing role models but it's good for others to have them if they don't have them at all at home.

@Desecratedcoconut I suggest you learn some manners. There is a talk guidelines you find helpful as you seem unable to converse within them.

There will always be paedos who seek out work with children.

It doesn't really matter whether they are male or female (and I'd hazard a guess that there are plenty of female paedos, but they are probably better at hiding it and under less scrutiny in the first place so it is easier to hide).

If you are not happy with the way your kids nursery is run with regard to personal care - don't send your child there.

If you are not happy about the risk that any nursery you send your child to may get sloppy with safe guarding protocols or hire a male worker...

Don't send your kid to nursery at all.

Thats it, that is all you can do - you cannot insist that YOUR kid isn't changed by a worker of the opposite sex, nor can you insist your child is left sitting their own shit and piss because you perceive the risk of the nursery having employed a paedo to be too high, because that would be to subject your child to actual harm in order to avoid hypothetical harm.

Oh, here we go
Must be a man or not a mum if you don't agree.
Didn't take long

No you can't.

That is the definition of discrimination.

The difference is that you're presumably in favour of one and against the other, yet the logic is the same.

@BodyKeepingScore now that is insanity! What if a child has been SA by a man, you're not allowed to request that you want a female member of staff to change their nappy!

And the DfE ruled in 2019 that such a parental request should not be accommodated.

Also, remember on Mumsnet there are a crazy amount of disgruntled men who come on here to defend men when they don't need defending! Most mothers would understand where the OP is coming from.

Legally, she can't though. She either needs to find alternative provision with no male staff or allow it to happen.

Why can't the OP decide she doesn't want a man changing her daughter's nappy? She should have that right! She pays for the nursery and she can request this.

So is the issue here with the fact he's a man or because he's creepy? If you'd be happy with the other man to change nappies to this thread has just been completely derailed.

@CoatRack

Because you can request a female doctor, female nurse, can choose between male/female dressing rooms - and it’s not really considered discrimination? - or do you think we should not have that choice in society and it IS discrimination?

Against my better judgment I can understand the fear. It's your most precious child. But you have to remember when you think about the man changing your child's nappy, it's also pretty uncomfortable to think of any random person of any sex touching their genitals. If you can't rationalise this, you need to look after your child single handedly until your child is totally toilet trained. No nursery will say that they will never employ men. And remember this fear will never leave you - my daughter is learning to drive and every time she gets in the car with a man I have never met before I feel it but I know i can't wrap her up entirely forever. Sorry you feel this fear OP.

No I won't take my boy into women's spaces over eight. I will stand outside and be within calling distance or get his dad to go with him.

I bet all these posters saying it's not right for a (crb checked) male staff member to change nappies because so many men are criminals, are the exact same people who criticise women for taking thier sons into ladies toilets to protect them from peadophiles. But of course when that happens sexual abuse from men is apparently rare and little boys are "invading women's spaces"

Op you can ask about how the nursery ensure that your daughter will be safe during nappy changes and also ask how many different people will potentially be changing her nappy. I don't think you can request a male doesn't change her but you can ask questions about how they safeguard children.

Is it not? How so?

Seems pretty similar to me.

Exactly, it's prejudice and discrimination pure and simple.
Of course it's not being compared to racism, but it's just pointing out that it's another form of prejudice.
It's wrong.

Having researched him on social media and deciding he's "creepy" seems insufficient grounds for making your proposed request to the nursery.

What if a white 6 year old said they didn't want a black teacher giving them intimate help?
Would that be accepted and allowed?

I'm just stating the facts as I believe them to be.

@ilovesooty

Interesting. Say if a 6 year old child requested that they didn’t want a male teacher giving them intimate help. That would be accepted and allowed surely?

Why should parent not be able to make that choice for a 3 or 4 year old?