Male Nursery Staff

It’s not a woman requesting to be examined.

So you’re saying nobody of the opposite sex should be doing intimate care of children?

Why?

Whilst the majority of parents would be fine for a male to change their child's nappy, if one parent isn't happy for this to happen they should be allowed to ask for a female to change their child's nappy! This is not discrimination

That's kind of the very definition of discrimination though. deciding he must be a danger to be kept away from your kid based just on the fact he's a man.

@Chocaloc is a woman requesting to be examined by a female doctor discriminating against men? Genuinely interested to hear what you think

Discrimination is the process of making unfair or prejudicial distinctions between people based on the groups, classes, or other categories to which they belong or are perceived to belong, such as race, gender, age, religion, physical attractiveness or sexual orientation.

@Chocaloc this is really balanced article!

I think the problem is, if I as a woman went to a doctor and was to be examined I could ask for a chaperone or a female doctor! Young children don't have their own voice at such a young age! Whilst the majority of parents would be fine for a male to change their child's nappy, if one parent isn't happy for this to happen they should be allowed to ask for a female to change their child's nappy! This is not discrimination. Just like it wouldn't be discrimination if I phoned up and requested to have a female doctor!! The OP is allowed to feel the way she feels, she is not being hysterical or discriminating. None of us have factored her past experiences or her child's past experiences into this. There is no discrimination. If anything the main discriminating is against, a woman with concerns being told she shouldn't have them!

That's a great article, thanks for posting - basically outlines the exact same reasons I posted upthread why I think positive male role models are important too

@Anovelname Totally agree, I would never want a male midwife either.

Posters are saying they don't want a random man to change their child's nappy but are happy for a random woman to do so . You do know that women can abuse children too? So what's the difference?
I have worked with a few male nursery nurses and they were all great and the kids absolutely loved them.
It's really sad to see so much sexism.

You are not unreasonable to have an opinion but maybe think about why you feel that way. Might be something you want to talk to someone about. Agree with PP that strong male role models in early years are so important. Hopefully the nursery check everyone thoroughly and have robust child protection measures in place. If you have specific concerns about a member of staff then speak to a senior member of staff

https://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/features/article/men-in-childcare-in-the-balance

It's ok to discriminate against paedophiles working in child care . It's not ok to discriminate against a man working in childcare

Maybe you should take your child out nursery if you don't think it's a problem

Then pay for a only female nursery

It’s just how comfortable you are with different risk levels. We both agree that men pose a higher risk to children than women do (I assume), and that discrimination is sometimes ok. We just disagree on whether the balance is tipped in this specific scenario.

FWIW I only have this view for extremely young children in nursery who cannot speak up for themselves. I have no issues with men in primary or secondary education. I do have issues with male midwives, but that is a separate discussion…!

This has to be one of the wildest threads i have ever read on Mumsnet. 😭😭

No you can’t do anything because discrimination isn’t ok, nor is assuming all males are paedophiles. Also the government is quite rightly trying to up the numbers of male early years staff because the numbers are way too low.

If you've reached the stage where you are stalking nursery staff in their social media I think it's time to find alternative childcare,

A paedophile abusing my DD would be every bit as bad as a blind surgeon, IMO

I'm agreeing with you there.

We seem to disagree though that men shouldn't be in caring roles as the fact that they're men means they should be kept away from and not be around kids. I don't agree with that viewpoint at all.

you can request, but very likely won't get.

Sorry, but am confused now, where on earth are you getting that I'm angry from?
I'm honestly not, as you say we all have different opinions and I'm just expressing mine.
It's always the same on these type of discriminatory threads - get some saying can't be a woman or a mum, and when that doesn't work people wheel out the "angry" trope.
Why is it anger to hear a different view?
Bizarre

A paedophile abusing my DD would be every bit as bad as a blind surgeon, IMO. We weren’t debating that though, we were discussing whether discrimination is ever ok. Clearly we both agree that it is in some cases. I believe this to be one of them, you don’t.

Not wanting someone who is blind to operate on you as you say is sensible.
A more accurate comparison if we're going down the disablist route would be something like not wanting someone to look after your kids if they were autistic, or missing a limb.
Would be completely unacceptable to discriminate against as they would likely be more than capable of looking after your child and great at their job.
Not wanting a man to look after your kids as you immediately have him down as a paedo just because of the fact he's a man is discrimination.
Not acceptable either.

@GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight why are you so angry? We're all allowed are opinions and experiences! On this forum I have witnessed many, many men infiltrate groups of DV, divorce, custody! They usually fiercely defend men without a rational argument. If we're being honest women have a reason to be suspicious and cautious of men! Whether that's in a nursery setting, walking home late a night after work etc!! I will not let a rational worry of the OP be disregarded because it is 'discriminatory'! Check out the statistics regarding male violence against women and children in this country!!! No it is not all men, but given it's a hell of a lot of men she has a right to be cautious!