Can I still date other people?

Ah, the good old days!

That's fine, and totally understandable, but I think if you want to date others and keep things casual it's best to be honest about this to avoid hurt feelings.

One of the reasons I stopped dating is because I wasn't sure how I would ever manage to articulate 'I'd like to be with you, and be with you exclusively, but not see you very often, or have you round my flat much, and definitely not staying the night, and I won't be staying at yours either...'

I wouldn’t sleep with someone without being exclusive first. So no, I wouldn’t go on another date.

If you take a different approach, you still have had sex with this person. You have chosen to be physically and possibly emotionally vulnerable with them. You should be able to have an honest conversation with them.

I think many men would be ok with this. If they already have kids for example or are just looking for a good time. But I don’t think it’s fair if he is looking for a relationship and hopes for a partner to not be upfront that that isn’t what you are looking for

I can't even be bothered to date one person, never mind multiple people. I'm no expert but I feel that if you're considering it, then current man is not the man for you.

Exactly this. You got drunk, probably while out with a group of friends, fell into bed with someone (more often than not, someone you kind of already knew) and then you either saw them again and that meant you were together, or you avoided them for the rest of your life and never spoke of it again. It was so much easier then.

There are no 'rules' - everyone has different notions of what they want from dating. Some people would consider it fine to date as many people as you want unless you've agreed otherwise. Some would only ever date one person at a time.

That's why it's important to have a conversation about it. Especially if those dates might include sex, because some people might not feel comfortable with that from a potential STI standpoint as much as anything else.

I'm the same age as you. From what I understand from the grads at work, it's entirely normal to have a string of internet dates lined up, and to still go on others, even if you like someone you meet and arrange a second date with. It's normal and expected. By the time you sleep with them though, you really do need to have a conversation about your status. If he is lovely, and there's potential, you don't want it to blow up later down the line that he didn't know.

Yes we have adopted their way of dating but havent done the same with the way they collect Child Support I wonder why 🤔

Surely she only knows what the guys are doing because they tell her so she is in agreement with it.

I’m assuming they aren’t the same multiple men each week and she’s having sex with them all though? Not that she can’t so that if she wants, it’s just that I think if someone is only dating one or two people and has several dates including sex that it can be more of a question mark over whether it’s leading somewhere.

can't say for me, but my sister has multiple dates a week - i don't think she tells the others about them, but the guys she sees are also having multiple dates.

It’s fine to multiple date - I don’t think anyone should assume exclusivity without talking about it. But by the same token you need to talk about non-exclusivity. So be up front with him that you don’t want a relationship. If you can’t have those kinds of conversations - regardless of what you want from dating - then you shouldn’t be dating. Honesty is the most important thing.

Make sure he knows you aren’t exclusive and ensure you are ok with the knowledge you might be one of two or more that he has sex with in any 24 hour period.

I think you need to be open and honest. It isn't good enough to say, 'I don't want to have the conversation because I think it's too soon'. You owe people a modicum of respect.

For me, if I'd seen a bloke 4 times and had sex with him I'd be really pissed off if I discovered he was arranging to meet up with other women, even if just for coffee. It suggests he's looking around and hoping for a better option, and I'd find that pretty insulting.

I also feel that if you can't be upfront about the fact that you're seeing other blokes it suggests you think he'll decide to not bother seeing you again. I think seeing more than one person at a time only works if everybody is aware of the facts and is ok about it.

I agree with @SamW98 and @Crunchymum

Just tell him that you're not exclusive. It's only fair that he knows.

Oh for the simpler times in the 90s when you hooked up pissed and that was it, you were going out.

Dating multiple people and having "exclusive" talks was something that they did in New York.

It's only a coffee. I'd go. I have multi dated in the past and it's seemingly the way things are now. I didn't sleep with all of them, but I did have a few fun drinks and dinners. Lots of people younger than me say if you've not had the 'exclusivity' chat then it's fair game to see others until you've agreed a relationship status.

I’ll never understand this in a million years. No problem getting naked with him but can’t have an honest chat about expectations.

So you are comfortable enough to have sex with him but cannot ask a simple question?

I'd have to ask my daughter, because dating today seems so complicated and beyond my comprehension.