To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

Happened to my DH just this week (he was the employer, not the interviewee). During interview: 'So, tell us why you are interested in this position?'
Candidate: "Well, I've always wanted to work for BigTruck, your company is just so fascinating, I have read all about your values and plans for the future etc etc"

Great speech, done his research. Only problem was that the interviewing company was not BigTruck. BigTruck is the competitor next door.

This reminds me of a guy I used to know he used to attend those jobs entre CV workshops because he did t WA t to work and didn't intend too. He'd created a CV under their supervision but then signed into a neighbours computer after scrounging off them constantly. He'd left himself signed in a d left this CV in his email. They downloaded it and doctored it, changing literally everything so where it said "I'm hard working and always on time". It had been changed to "I can be quite lazy and don't really intend d to work, I often arrive late and will expect to be paid for work not done" etc. They literally changed his whole CV like this. Still maintaining the format. He was so oblivious he kept sending it out for nearly a year until Job seekers allowance were sent a copy by a prospective employer. He argued the fact he'd sent it then sent a copy from his email to his job seeker coach of the original (the doctored version) not. Checking it saying "This is the CV I sent" he was sanctioned and only realised when they literally read it ot out to him and suggested he took a proper look at it. Still doesn't know to this day how it happened yet the whole village did before him. He did eventually get a job at Macdonald's cleaning but lasted about a week. Now his wife keeps him.

On a project I was managing we had some teenagers looking for work and I was looking at one of their CVs because she hadn't had any luck with applications. It became clear why not when I saw her email address. For example [email protected].

Apparently her friend had set it up for her as a joke.

Once got a cover letter written in green ink assuring me that the allegations that he was an IRA member were completely false.

Well, that's better than 2 speaker introductions at meetings that I attended.

In one case, the person, who was supposed to be the speaker's main contact and to be looking after her on her work visit to the UK, was clearly not doing his job -as we already knew! He introduced her: 'This is Dr X (completely spoonerizing the name); and she's going to speak about (looked down at the seminar list, and read out the title of her talk) and, er, that is what she's going to talk about'. That was the entire introduction!

The other was worse. The speaker had worked in a number of biology-related areas, ranging from the study of certain animal species to human children. The person introducing him said, 'X used to fiddle about with (a small animal species) but now he fiddles about with little kids!'

Haha! I have boasted about my pubic sector experience before.

If I was concerned with decompressing and dealing with stress I'd ask them the question at the interview. Unless it was part of your job description that you had to have a hobby - rejecting them on that basis lacks process.

At a meeting of a society I belonged to, the Chairman was introducing the guest speaker. He had evidently asked her to provide her qualifications, achievements etc, to ensure he introduced her correctly. She had printed off what must have been her profile on her work intranet or similar, and he just read it all out word for word. So we didn't just hear about her research interests, publications and so on, but the fact that she was responsible for room allocations at her institution, and similar internal admin roles.

I spent time meticulously proofreading the main body of my CV before distributing it far and wide to try to find work. Only after several months of determined job hunting did I realise the error in my personal details. I had missed the 'o' out of 'county' in my address 😳

What if it wasn't a mistake though. I'm sure there are people (men), who do enjoy banging one out in their garden 😂

And saying you were head girl after a 20-year career is a bit embarrassing too.

😂

I find bullet points can be good. Showing you can be concise and they get a lot of info in one place. Some people are put off by huge paragraphs.
Also please don’t say you work well independently and in a team, you’re punctual, hardworking etc. These should go without saying and it’s quite boring to read. Tell the reader how you can do the job!

I had one where they clearly used a template and as per their CV their was "Name Lastname", email "[email protected]" and phone number "00000000000" .... They didn't get the job

Absolutely on both counts. When I worked in recruitment I could spot the folks applying purely to meet a requirement for staying on benefits a mile off after a while. I was extremely wary of anyone that didn't have a hobbies/interests section on their CV - as it often meant that they didn't have any, and when you're working in a stressful role ways of decompressing/relaxing outside of work are essential imho.

I had a BEAUTY back in the mid 2000’s in finance recruitment!! A man attached a photo of himself in a car with his seat belt on and the tag line was “fasten your seatbelt and get ready for the ride of your life”
the whole office was in hysterics and … to be honest his CV was not the ride of (our) my life! But it was famous in our company!

When I was really into water skiing, diving etc

I said that I enjoy watersports in my hobbies and interests patagraph.....not till years later did I know the other meaning of being into watersports

Don't feel bad - hobbies and life-experiences like that are very relevant and helpful for a younger person who hasn't yet had the opportunity to build career experiences. They give a good idea of character and experiences. What you've put is impressive to prospective employers looking at a field of candidates aged around 16. I think where it falls flat is where someone has had 20 - 30 years in the workplace but skims over that and flags hobbies in its place.

Best wishes to your DS in his job hunt; I hope he finds something he enjoys.

I once signed off a professional email with kind regards, except I had accidentally wrote a T instead of a G in regards.

Not only do I think the word is absolutely abhorrent, but as it was at the end of the email and I was typing so fast I clicked send pretty much as the same time as I realised.

A massive apology email was sent afterwards. I usually proof read, I don't know what made me skip it that day!

I screened an application form (for a job as a doctor) which said “I was asked to leave my previous training scheme for poor performance, and have been unemployed ever since” - admirable honesty, still ended up in the bin.

Isn’t that just to Che k that it’s read properly by the person 🤣

😂😂😂 a so-called 'gaydar'

It surprises me how many people have frivolous voicemail messages, even if nowhere near as bad as you quote.

I've heard several along the lines of 'I'm not available to take your call because I'm doing something much more exciting'. It may be true, but what message does that send to people calling you, even friends?

Business is not done on the golf course - our clients don't care that you can play golf either - interests are diverse - seriously baking for Friday treats? I think one of the great things about our team is that everyone is into different things - it's interesting - and occasionally it's impressive but sometimes a commitment to a hobby has caused us to drop a candidate - their training schedule came across as being the no 1 thing in their lives - we didn't want that battle.

Talk of hobbies reminds me of the job advert that supposedly appeared for a Sheffield steelworks in the heyday of the works brass bands:
Wanted, trombone player. Ability to operate capstan lathe an advantage.