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Original poster

To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

511 replies

Kidulthood2027 · 24/04/2024 10:57

Have just realised I've been sending off a CV with a sentence that reads "I undertook regular security checks of the hotel during evening shits." I had meant to say "shifts". I thought I had proofread the CV thoroughly before sending it off, but clearly not enough. I was wondering why I was receiving so little interest for basic retail/food service jobs. Absolutely mortified. Any stories to make me feel better? Can be from you or from CVs you have reviewed during your working life.

OP posts:
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8
GatherlyGal · 24/04/2024 11:37

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 11:29

Because apparently most CVs are read by AI and scanned for specific words etc. It can't scan PDFs so automatically sifts to decline as it thinks none of the key words are there. I've seen it in action and realised all those jobs I've recently applied for on LinkedIn are probably using this method as I meet all the criteria and my CV is tailored to each job etc when I write it and I couldn't understand why I was getting automated declines 🤦‍♀️ whereas through a recruiter who you actually speak to and manually reads your CV and passes it onto the company I've been getting interviews.

Show quote history

Interesting. Bit of a nightmare to not even be in the running without realising!

Hopefully you are getting some interest now.

Clarinet1 · 24/04/2024 11:37

Oh dear - sitting on a bus laughing out loud reading these!

My contribution would be not a CV but an application form which required referees’ details. Where it asked “How known to you” rather than “Former employer” or “College tutor” or whatever, one candidate had put “Well” and another has put “Paul” and Geraldine”!

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 24/04/2024 11:37

Thursdaygirl · 24/04/2024 11:29

Under 'hobbies and interests' the candidate 'enjoys wanking in his garden' I think he meant 'working.'

I should add this was on a hand-written job application form, so maybe we just misread his writing .....

Maybe he thought his penchant for outdoor masturbation would make him stand out 🤣

TitusMoan · 24/04/2024 11:36

SiobhanSharpe · 24/04/2024 11:21

Ah -- the dangers that arise from relying on spell-checker. Salutory lessons here.

Are you sure?

Watchthedoormat · 24/04/2024 11:33
  • why I left
RainbowZebraWarrior · 24/04/2024 11:33

One of the most bizarre I've seen was when I was a chef. Sifting through CV's looking for a sous chef, I happen across a lad who had rated himself across various disciplines with a 1 - 5 chillies graphic. Novel approach, I thought.

He had given himself 1 chilli 🌶 out of 5 for communication. No explanation, no desire to improve, just basically admitting his communication was shite. I didn't bother inviting him for interview.

Watchthedoormat · 24/04/2024 11:33

I was looking for a part-time role whilst my DC were young and I was applying to absolutely everything from retail to care to admin.
Sent my CV -which I'd amend to suit the job role I was applying for at that moment - to a care provider stating how much I loved working in retail.
I also sent a CV to a company I'd previously worked for and put I'd worked there two year longer than I actually had. Plus I had put a lie about length of service.
Didn't know whether I was coming or going in the end.

Thursdaygirl · 24/04/2024 11:29

Under 'hobbies and interests' the candidate 'enjoys wanking in his garden' I think he meant 'working.'

I should add this was on a hand-written job application form, so maybe we just misread his writing .....

mindutopia · 24/04/2024 11:29

That's wonderful, OP. 😂I can't think of any myself, but I was hiring for a role once back in the days of paper CVs and we had someone apply using an 8 page (!!) CV printed on lime green plastic sheets.

Like the sort of thing below, as if you were going to put it on one of those overhead projectors from the 90s. She also submitted us a patent application for a new design for a multistory car park that she was currently seeking a patent for.

The role was for a receptionist at a charity. We were all a bit 😳and I think we actually convinced management to let us interview her purely because we were all so perplexed by her application. She didn't get the job though.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Transparent-Translucent-Printable-Drafting-Printing/dp/B07Z992G62?th=1

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Transparent-Translucent-Printable-Drafting-Printing/dp/B07Z992G62?th=1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-am-i-being-unreasonable-5061277-to-ask-for-the-biggest-cv-fails-youve-come-across

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 11:29

GatherlyGal · 24/04/2024 11:26

Really? Why would they want word docs?

Show quote history

Because apparently most CVs are read by AI and scanned for specific words etc. It can't scan PDFs so automatically sifts to decline as it thinks none of the key words are there. I've seen it in action and realised all those jobs I've recently applied for on LinkedIn are probably using this method as I meet all the criteria and my CV is tailored to each job etc when I write it and I couldn't understand why I was getting automated declines 🤦‍♀️ whereas through a recruiter who you actually speak to and manually reads your CV and passes it onto the company I've been getting interviews.

Superscientist · 24/04/2024 11:28

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 11:22

What's track changes?

Show quote history

In word you can select for it to retain your changes. It's often used when proof reading someone else's work. It means you see the original and the final document in one. So it might be something like - happy with shit shift work with the crossed out bit in red and who made the change You can also add comments. It's like an annotated version of the document

MrsPinkCock · 24/04/2024 11:26

I hate anything with a photo attached to it. I don’t need to see that!

some of these are brilliant though. Poof reading being a particular highlight 😂

Scottishshortbread11877 · 24/04/2024 11:26

Sorry I tagged the wrong person!

GatherlyGal · 24/04/2024 11:26

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 11:23

I've been applying for a few jobs recently and have only just found out PDFs are not wanted and in fact they all want word doc CVs so I've been falling at the first hurdle.

Really? Why would they want word docs?

GasPanic · 24/04/2024 11:26

Don't underestimate the entertainment value of these to the cv reviewer, whose job is normally stupendously boring.

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 11:25

Thanks never heard of track changes!

Scottishshortbread11877 · 24/04/2024 11:25

@Superscientist I think it's when you can see all the document edits?

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 24/04/2024 11:24

I work in a jobcenter. My favourites are the ones who don't include their name or kontakt info. Or the photos (am in Europe so it's a thing) in the car, or on the beach in a bikini, or look like they are on only fans.

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 11:23

I've been applying for a few jobs recently and have only just found out PDFs are not wanted and in fact they all want word doc CVs so I've been falling at the first hurdle.

Original poster
Kidulthood2027 · 24/04/2024 11:23

Ugh, the mental image that that sentence must've brought to the poor fuckers I sent that CV to. Me, sat on the toilet watching the security cameras on a tablet.

OP posts:
HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 11:22

Superscientist · 24/04/2024 11:09

I know someone who sent in their CV with track changes still on.

What's track changes?

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 11:22

GatherlyGal · 24/04/2024 11:19

When I first did mine as a teenager I left it on the computer and unbeknown to me my sister added "pubbing and clubbing" under my Other Interests.

I didn't notice for ages and was trying to get work experience in a law firm.

🤣🤣

SiobhanSharpe · 24/04/2024 11:21

Ah -- the dangers that arise from relying on spell-checker. Salutory lessons here.

GatherlyGal · 24/04/2024 11:19

When I first did mine as a teenager I left it on the computer and unbeknown to me my sister added "pubbing and clubbing" under my Other Interests.

I didn't notice for ages and was trying to get work experience in a law firm.