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Original poster

To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

511 replies

Kidulthood2027 · 24/04/2024 10:57

Have just realised I've been sending off a CV with a sentence that reads "I undertook regular security checks of the hotel during evening shits." I had meant to say "shifts". I thought I had proofread the CV thoroughly before sending it off, but clearly not enough. I was wondering why I was receiving so little interest for basic retail/food service jobs. Absolutely mortified. Any stories to make me feel better? Can be from you or from CVs you have reviewed during your working life.

OP posts:
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8
Sparklesocks · 24/04/2024 14:00

SewingBees · 24/04/2024 13:40

Someone who said they 'like being busty' instead of busy

Haha yes I was once cc’d into an email about a county court judgement along with lots of higher ups, but the sender had missed the ‘o’ out of county the poor soul 😄

Katkins17 · 24/04/2024 13:59

Not a CV ... but as a florist I send out quotes daily to brides for their wedding flowers.

I've lost track of the times I've sent them out stating 'ducky punk' rather than dusky pink or 'red poopies' rather than poppies.... and so many more ways of showing my utter lack of professionalism !!!

Peedeeef · 24/04/2024 13:57

I have done lots of trainings in

This could be a language difference. I work with an Indian woman and part of her role is to ensure teams undertake mandatory training. She always adds an s onto the end of training.

OneTC · 24/04/2024 13:55

Puerile humour sorry but couldn't stop laughing.

Also once had a job application from someone who described themselves as "polite and hostile"

To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?
MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 24/04/2024 13:55

TeaGinandFags · 24/04/2024 13:40

It may be more accurate than you realise 😂

Show quote history

I thought the same thing 😆

Mine said "vunerable" instead of "vulnerable", multiple times and I got the job 😊

MissMillyFluff · 24/04/2024 13:54

Years ago, DD was attending a job club thing and part of the session was to update her CV. Her CV informed potential employers that she was conscientious. On bringing CV home that evening I read through it and the "teacher" had corrected her spelling. DD's CV now read that she was contentious....not exactly an ideal way to gain employment 😳

GoodHeavens99 · 24/04/2024 13:51

LakesideInn · 24/04/2024 13:35

Also exclamation marks. I once read a CV that contained 42 of them.

1 jaunty ! is one too many and will get your CV binned round here.

I think it was Kingsley Amis who said something like 'you're only allowed to use one exclamation mark per year'.

And even that, he wasn't happy with!

Winningatpatriachychicken · 24/04/2024 13:51

The CV that under interests read:

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

😂😂😂😂

GoodHeavens99 · 24/04/2024 13:49

Barleysugar86 · 24/04/2024 13:34

I had an applicant whose previous job role was 'Head of Terrorism.'

Not a typo, just an interesting job title 😂

Bin Laden's CV, obviously!

AttentionToDetal · 24/04/2024 13:49

Jerabilis · 24/04/2024 11:47

Not a CV but I used to work in public sector audit. We were presenting our annual audit report to a local authority council when the giggles started, spreading from one councillor to another. The words “public sector” were missing a rather vital L is several places in the document…

in became part of standing orders that one of the checks on our documents before they were sent to clients was that we did a search for “pubic” just in case!

I use the word 'public' lots in my job. I added it to autocorrect to change any 'pubic' just in case!

My user name is inspired by a CV where the applicant claimed to have great...

Moveoverdarlin · 24/04/2024 13:49

Years ago I was sent a CV from a PR uni student that wanted to do work experience at the creative PR agency I worked at - you could tell she was very young (maybe 19) from her CV. What did it for me was her email address was. [email protected]

I gave her some feedback and said might be time to get a new email address.

thepastinsidethepresent · 24/04/2024 13:49

I'm a writer and editor, so am super careful to proofread my own work as typos are just so embarrassing.

I don't think I've ever made a typo on my CV, but during a previous incarnation as a freelance product copywriter I was very glad I'd proofread my work before submitting when I realised I'd described a dress as 'perfect for the offie.' I somehow doubt that was the image the client was aiming for...

NeedToChangeName · 24/04/2024 13:49

Slightly off topic, but I heard of someone describing a gap in his CV as due to ill health

At some point, occupational health got involved and saw his medical records

He'd actually been in prison, not hospital

Hotpolarbear · 24/04/2024 13:47

Worked in a cafe and we received a cover letter which said, "I think I'd be a great employee for you as I wear your underwear and its so comfortable "!
Safe to say we didn't offer them an interview.

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 13:46

Stigglet · 24/04/2024 13:42

I did not know this! I was always advised to send as a pdf because it preserves the formatting. If you send it in Word format their software can bugger it all up, and they might not have the correct fonts installed, etc. But a pdf appears exactly as you designed it, fonts and all.

Show quote history

If you're sending to a recruiter or actual person at the company for example use a pdf. If you're applying on a website/LinkedIn/other site etc then use word as AI will filter it. Some jobs get hundreds or thousands of applicants so they use the AI to filter. So a human never looks at most apps which is annoying to know.

JadeSheep · 24/04/2024 13:45

Butchyrestingface · 24/04/2024 11:05

I haven't done this (yet) but can imagine a scenario where it would arise:

I have two CVs: my actual, truthful CV and the CV I would like to have.

The latter contains the qualifications and experience I currently have, PLUS the ones I dream of having. There's a kind of method to the madness. By concretising things, I often end up doing them in the end - and then can add them to the legit CV.

But when sending off my CV to anyone, I have to check, check and triple check to make sure it's REAL CV versus DREAM CV I've attached to the email! Grin

I like this 😊

Isitisit · 24/04/2024 13:45

I added my ‘Master of Arts’ degree to my CV and missed out the T.

I did catch it before sending out but it was a close one!

I do have a great arse to be fair! 😂

Xenoi24 · 24/04/2024 13:44

Pistachiovillian · 24/04/2024 11:09

Someone I know was struggling to find work and asked me to look over her CV for her.

It was written in two different fonts.
Under 'Hobbies and interests' she'd written;

'I like spending time with my friends and animals in general'.

She also had a sub-heading of 'Things I like to do' which read;
'My Dog'.

Pmsl

TinkerTiger · 24/04/2024 13:44

Username620 · 24/04/2024 11:06

I’ve seen loads of funny ones when recruiting an English editor, these are the ones that stuck out.
I worked in the Finish embassy
I would like to be apart of a team
one didn’t even spell the title of their degree correctly
Attention to details (this one drives me mad)
I have done lots of trainings in …

any typos in an Editor application go in the bin and they aren’t even interviewed.

Ooooh love a nice quick way to think thin the pile!

Nicelynicelyjohnson · 24/04/2024 13:43

SewingBees · 24/04/2024 13:40

Someone who said they 'like being busty' instead of busy

I've done that in work emails - sorry for not replying sooner, very busty!
I've also signed off "best retards".

GoodHeavens99 · 24/04/2024 13:43

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 24/04/2024 11:45

A friend of mine was helping his girlfriend with her job seeking.
He mocked up a sample CV for her to use as a template and included some comedic "achievements" he thought would amuse her.
She thought it was the finished product and sent off a CV claiming that she had "invented jam" and "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die".
She got the job.

That's fantastic! 😂

Stigglet · 24/04/2024 13:42

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 11:23

I've been applying for a few jobs recently and have only just found out PDFs are not wanted and in fact they all want word doc CVs so I've been falling at the first hurdle.

I did not know this! I was always advised to send as a pdf because it preserves the formatting. If you send it in Word format their software can bugger it all up, and they might not have the correct fonts installed, etc. But a pdf appears exactly as you designed it, fonts and all.

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 24/04/2024 13:41

I used to work for one of several local universities. It was not uncommon for applicants to tell us in their cover letter how keen they were to work for one of the other local universities. Straight in the bin!

SewingBees · 24/04/2024 13:40

Someone who said they 'like being busty' instead of busy

TeaGinandFags · 24/04/2024 13:40

BreadAhoy · 24/04/2024 11:16

I’ve seen “worked with depraved children and families” rather than deprived.

It may be more accurate than you realise 😂