To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

Application letter dated to the year 3013.

I reviewed a CV a few years back, where a candidate proudly declared a mediocre IQ result as an accomplishment. Bizarre

😂😂😂
Crying at this!

I am reading through CVs just now. One has been in their latest post just ONE month. They seem to have achieved an awful lot, including in things that couldn’t possibly have happened at this time of year!

Oooh I just learned how to do a ° on my phone the other day!

I get awful CVs from all age groups. The over 50s are just as bad as the younger ones for the most part.

Very common to see people list "Attention to detail" as one of their traits and their CV is littered with basic mistakes. An instant no from me - better not to mention attention to detail at all.

German CV:

I wrote Lesbenlauf instead of Lebenslauf.
Lesbe means lesbian. A Lesbenlauf would be some sort of lesbian run or marathon…

Never received a response to that one 😂😂

Saw a cv once where under other interests was "my old tractor" and a picture of a vintage Massey Fergusson. Personally I don't consider that a fail but my manager was so put off and she was hiring so it didn't help.

Another chap was trying to prove that he could type and knew how to write letters and so included a selection of letters that he'd actually been using for his previous employer's clients. Complete with their names and addresses.

I had one of those mad moments when you start typing put can't see where the typing has gone. I was trying to add the name of a hospital I'd worked in but instead managed to add "ONG" in front of my name on the top of the front page. Recruiter pointed it out to me and said she thought it was an unusual oriental name of some sort.

I reviewed an application recently for a senior IT role, and the applicant wrote typewriter and Windows 97 as skills.

This was in 2024. A high level technology savvy position.

😂
So funny!

Trainings in the plural is perfectly acceptable American English. It's in Merriam-Webster.

I think you mean;

"I haven't ever found one'.

Or maybe;

"I haven't found even one".

I am loving the 'massive jugs' and 'poof-reading'! 😂

Yes my friend's CV was fun. Nice person but CV writing was evidently not her strong point!

I once was recruiting for a post in a low income country where people were quite desperate and tended to "embellish" their CVs. One claimed to have an MBA from the US, but unfortunately spoilt the effect by putting in brackets (Master of Bull and Advice).

This did make me laugh. Thanks.

I don't get the idea of not including hobbies at all. Sure, nobody wants eight detailed paragraphs, but briefly mentioning that you enjoy lacrosse or crochet is just an extra little marker that you're maybe a rounded individual

It's a potential source of discrimination, and takes up space that could be devoted to demonstrating how you match the job/person spec.

@Kidulthood2027 youve given dh and I such a 🤣🤣🤣🤣

( 🤞your cv revision will be successful )

A CV was sent to our place recently where they had mentioned 3 times that they were punctual. They never showed up for the interview 🤣

That's reminded me that in a previous job, I used to receive fairly regular strongly-worded corporate complaints from someone whose email address was [email protected]. 😳

That sounds like a classic example of where a job centre has ordered somebody to apply for a job(s) in order not to lose their out-of-work benefits, but they really don't want to get a job.

I don't get the idea of not including hobbies at all. Sure, nobody wants eight detailed paragraphs, but briefly mentioning that you enjoy lacrosse or crochet is just an extra little marker that you're maybe a rounded individual and not an automaton - and can sometimes provide a handy topic for an ice-breaker, especially if it's an unusual and/or fascinating-sounding hobby.

I think some recruiters are quite unfair in sneering at things as clearly ridiculous that they personally don't like, but which a lot of other recruiters would appreciate and might find helpful in making a decision.

Two that amused me. One that included a bundle of photocopies of his (shite) watercolours for an academic job, the other who added "Relationship status: looking for love" 😂

As a Social Worker writing an assessment, I summised that a “package of cake” was needed. Obviously, they really needed a package of care.

We once received one that said "I've aways dreamed of being a data entry clerk and I always work on speed"

We found the first part unlikely and the assumed that on was meant to be with ... we were intrigued anyway and since she seemed very enthusiastic interviewed and she did get the job - she was great at data entry and there were no drugs involved so far as we could tell! Actually she still works for us 18 years down the line so she must be doing something right

Sorry, I understand the embarassment and mortification, but.. some of these, including the OP's one, are hilarious! I think this thread will be moved to Classics soon.

Thank you for this thread, I was chuckling at the Killer Whale, but Queensbury Rules has floored me! 😂

I have recruited to clinical academic roles, so have had some odd applications, but the most memorable went on for 10 pages detailing all the ways in which her creative prowess as an artist and poet had gone unappreciated in her previous (clinical) roles, and how she expected us to do better. The role was mostly undergraduate placement management and some skills teaching. Zero artistic skills required. We didn’t interview.

My ex used to send out his CV: First sentence "Hello, and Welcome! My name is xxxxx xxxxxx........"