Page 11 | To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

Kidulthood2027 · 2024-04-24T09:57:26+00:00

Have just realised I've been sending off a CV with a sentence that reads "I undertook regular security checks of the hotel during evening shits." I had meant to say "shifts". I thought I had proofread the CV thoroughly before sending it off, but clearly not enough. I was wondering why I was receiving so little interest for basic retail/food service jobs. Absolutely mortified. Any stories to make me feel better? Can be from you or from CVs you have reviewed during your working life.

Curtainsforus · 24/04/2024 19:26

A friend - Enjoyed cottaging at weekends - had no idea it meant anything other than staying in cottages.

ThisHumanBean · 24/04/2024 19:23

She also had a sub-heading of 'Things I like to do' which read;
'My Dog'.

This has made me lol 😂

Discobabe98 · 24/04/2024 19:16

Oh my god so so many. I work in admin in a recruitment agency and I have seen thousands of CVs. Wish I could say more without outing/ breaking data protection but..

The worst grammar and spelling you have ever seen including ‘roll’ for role

Someone saying that running the tuck shop in primary school gave them customer service skills

People including a photo of themselves that is a selfie/ webcam pic

Extreme conversational tone being used aka ‘In my spare time I am a father till 2 amazing kids so I am’ (from Belfast)

I’ve seen so many at this point the funny spelling mistakes I probably just block out, always think it’s baffling how many people put apostrophes in the words A Level’s and GCSE’s

Newname71 · 24/04/2024 19:08

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 24/04/2024 11:45

A friend of mine was helping his girlfriend with her job seeking.
He mocked up a sample CV for her to use as a template and included some comedic "achievements" he thought would amuse her.
She thought it was the finished product and sent off a CV claiming that she had "invented jam" and "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die".
She got the job.

I love this!! I don’t have a CV as I’ve been in the same job since leaving school 36 years ago. But if I never need one I’m putting that in it 😂

RazzlePuff · 24/04/2024 19:01

Nanny applicant felt that dog walking and animal care “in my country” made him a perfect candidate to work with children.

RazzlePuff · 24/04/2024 18:59

One CV had skills: pubic speaking

wanted to invite them to office just to hear it speak!!

Balloonhearts · 24/04/2024 18:51

We had someone apply for a deputy manager position claim to be a strong and masterful leader and he would prove himself to us by cutting out the deadwood within the team.

He had never met any of us at that point. He never did meet any of us either.

SmudgeButt · 24/04/2024 18:50

The 18 year old that wanted to be promoted after 3 months working for the company into a team leader role. And used his time as a boy scout team leader as experience. Frankly I thought it was very creative. We interviewed him to give him the experience of a TL role interview but were quite clear that while we were very impressed by his initiative he really should get good at his current job first before looking to progress.

MFF2010 · 24/04/2024 18:48

HaventGotAScoob · 24/04/2024 11:23

I've been applying for a few jobs recently and have only just found out PDFs are not wanted and in fact they all want word doc CVs so I've been falling at the first hurdle.

This isn't true, I recruit loads and it doesn't matter 🤷‍♀️

waitingforthedrain · 24/04/2024 18:46

I've had so many over the years. The one who added a QR code! I scanned it as curious and it was a self assessment report. He graded himself on his communication skills, professionalism etc. shame he only gave himself a 3/5 for professionalism.

Then there was the one who meant to include a headshot photo but sent one of an empty table, looked like an Italian restaurant complete with red and white checked tablecloth, candles and vines.

Or the ones that copy and paste the same cover letter and get your name and location wrong as they forgot to update the headings.

Or the ones that tell me about their grade 4 recorder

IdaPrentice · 24/04/2024 18:40

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 24/04/2024 11:45

A friend of mine was helping his girlfriend with her job seeking.
He mocked up a sample CV for her to use as a template and included some comedic "achievements" he thought would amuse her.
She thought it was the finished product and sent off a CV claiming that she had "invented jam" and "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die".
She got the job.

😂☠😂

NannyGythaOgg · 24/04/2024 18:36

I went on one of those courses. (sometime in the 80s) I could have made a much better job of designing and delivering such a course.

The person delivering it made spelling mistakes on the flip chart, couldn't understand simple questions from the group and wasn't able to get engagement from most of the group

Robotnik · 24/04/2024 18:35

One candidate who gave himself as both references, though he spelled his own name wrong in one of them (same phone number, though).

listsandbudgets · 24/04/2024 18:31

@Blueberry101 I once received an email entitled "ongoing problems in pubic areas".... It was from the vicar!

pambeesleyhalpert · 24/04/2024 18:30

Wrote I had my British life saving certificate. didn't know it meant basic life support 🫠

Corestly · 24/04/2024 18:29

Many years ago, my brother left his cv lying around, and my then 12yr old ds drew a small penis in all its ejaculating glory on it. I found him giggling away and made him confess. Alas, it was too late, the cv was en route to its final destination.

GucciBear · 24/04/2024 18:28

Not strictly to do with a CV but I did read a motor accident report which said As I was proceeding slowly around the bend ....................

listsandbudgets · 24/04/2024 18:26

It wasn't a CV but used to receive various reports about housing when I was a councillor. My favourite mistake was one that blandly informed me "in Xcity the majority of older people live until they die". I did send it back with a note asking what the minority did!

Blueberry101 · 24/04/2024 18:25

Oh dear, hopefully they won't spot it. A few years back I applied for several jobs with my CV which included my experience of working in 'pubic libraries'. Is it too late to send a new version to them?

Notellinganyone · 24/04/2024 18:23

SiobhanSharpe · 24/04/2024 11:21

Ah -- the dangers that arise from relying on spell-checker. Salutory lessons here.

Salutary!

emmypa · 24/04/2024 18:21

So funny this thread.
The people who email their CV to every company they are applying to without using blind copy. Do you really want the company you're applying to seeing a list of the other organizations you are sending it to?
Another one who'd left off the name of most recent employer. When queried, he said it was confidential...😆

ApiratesaysYarrr · 24/04/2024 18:19

Nicelynicelyjohnson · 24/04/2024 13:43

I've done that in work emails - sorry for not replying sooner, very busty!
I've also signed off "best retards".

Show quote history

This can only be topped by omitting the "best/kind" before the mis-spelled "regards"

MagpieCastle · 24/04/2024 18:13

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 24/04/2024 11:45

A friend of mine was helping his girlfriend with her job seeking.
He mocked up a sample CV for her to use as a template and included some comedic "achievements" he thought would amuse her.
She thought it was the finished product and sent off a CV claiming that she had "invented jam" and "shot a man in Reno just to watch him die".
She got the job.

Brilliant! 🥇 Dh and ds just peered in to see why I was laughing so much and had the same reaction after reading.

largeprintagathachristie · 24/04/2024 18:11

My mate had been sending out his CV for a year before he asked me to give it a proof read.

It mentioned all the experience he had from past “rolls.”

NonPlayerCharacter · 24/04/2024 18:09

Whatifthehokeycokey · 24/04/2024 18:07

Application letter dated to the year 3013.

You missed a chance to learn the secrets of time travel.