Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for the biggest CV fails you've come across?

511 replies

Kidulthood2027 · 24/04/2024 10:57

Have just realised I've been sending off a CV with a sentence that reads "I undertook regular security checks of the hotel during evening shits." I had meant to say "shifts". I thought I had proofread the CV thoroughly before sending it off, but clearly not enough. I was wondering why I was receiving so little interest for basic retail/food service jobs. Absolutely mortified. Any stories to make me feel better? Can be from you or from CVs you have reviewed during your working life.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Thread gallery
8
CanelliniBeans · 16/07/2024 21:10

NoBinturongsHereMate · 14/07/2024 13:03

Thank you for reviving the thread to make that invaluable contribution.

Do you also write those useful product reviews that say 'Haven't used it yet, so can't say whether it works..', and 'Bought as a gift and haven't opened the box.'?

This

LemonyFace · 15/07/2024 18:47

NonPlayerCharacter · 15/07/2024 13:46

To be fair, training as a barrister is a real grind.

Show quote history

😆🤣😆🤣
I'm easily entertained.

NonPlayerCharacter · 15/07/2024 13:46

LiveLaughGoblin · 15/07/2024 11:08

Haha reminds me of my friend’s housemate who wondered, to the room at large, why wannabe lawyers had to do work experience at Caffe Nero wearing ‘Trainee Barista’ t shirts.

Into the bemused silence and sea
of raised eyebrows he mused: ‘is it part of the legal training…I don’t understand why it’s relevant’

Oat flat white extra hot M’lud.

Show quote history

To be fair, training as a barrister is a real grind.

LiveLaughGoblin · 15/07/2024 11:08

FreshAirForwards · 14/07/2024 13:36

I recently stopped a sixth former from pressing send on a CV in which he claimed 2 years experience as a barrister at a well known coffee shop chain.

Haha reminds me of my friend’s housemate who wondered, to the room at large, why wannabe lawyers had to do work experience at Caffe Nero wearing ‘Trainee Barista’ t shirts.

Into the bemused silence and sea
of raised eyebrows he mused: ‘is it part of the legal training…I don’t understand why it’s relevant’

Oat flat white extra hot M’lud.

FOJN · 14/07/2024 15:04

I telephoned for a reference for someone I had just interviewed, I got through and asked for the person named on the application, the person who answered gave a laugh and said they would put me through. When the person I wanted to speak to answered I confirmed they were the person I was looking for by asking if they were Mrs X (name listed on the application), they asked me if I was taking the piss. I was slightly taken back but when they told me their actual name it became apparent that the applicant had written what must have been a nickname on the application. I won't give the exact names because would be very outing but imagine if someone was called Mrs Frog, the applicant had listed the referee as Mrs Kermit.

Unfortunately the other interviewer had clearly pissed the applicant off, completely understandable IMO, so she didn't even answer the phone when I tried to contact her to alert her to the error. It was a shame because she was the best person we interviewed in what had been a very long day.

She was a great candidate so I'm sure she went on to have a good career.

NonPlayerCharacter · 14/07/2024 14:47

FreshAirForwards · 14/07/2024 13:36

I recently stopped a sixth former from pressing send on a CV in which he claimed 2 years experience as a barrister at a well known coffee shop chain.

KC: King's Coffee?

trekking1 · 14/07/2024 14:30

FreshAirForwards · 14/07/2024 13:36

I recently stopped a sixth former from pressing send on a CV in which he claimed 2 years experience as a barrister at a well known coffee shop chain.

😂😂

FreshAirForwards · 14/07/2024 13:36

I recently stopped a sixth former from pressing send on a CV in which he claimed 2 years experience as a barrister at a well known coffee shop chain.

SeeSeeRider · 14/07/2024 13:14

SeanBeansMealDeal · 02/05/2024 16:57

I just read that out aloud to my 11yo DS (who is really into computers), and was thinking that Windows 97 was obviously from a long time ago and obsolete now... but he instantly reminded me (and I was there, using computers in 1997, but he obviously wasn't) that Windows 97 isn't just very old; it never actually existed in the first place!

Show quote history

But there was an Office 97 which may have led to the confusion.

CasualObserver53 · 14/07/2024 13:04

Crying with laughter reading some of these - but @potatoschpotato the comic sans epic sounds absolutely hilarious 😂

NoBinturongsHereMate · 14/07/2024 13:03

Thank you for reviving the thread to make that invaluable contribution.

Do you also write those useful product reviews that say 'Haven't used it yet, so can't say whether it works..', and 'Bought as a gift and haven't opened the box.'?

umar123 · 14/07/2024 12:53

I'm not an employer so I haven't come across any fails in applications, cover letters or CVs

Sakuem · 29/05/2024 20:57

SeanBeansMealDeal · 02/05/2024 16:57

I just read that out aloud to my 11yo DS (who is really into computers), and was thinking that Windows 97 was obviously from a long time ago and obsolete now... but he instantly reminded me (and I was there, using computers in 1997, but he obviously wasn't) that Windows 97 isn't just very old; it never actually existed in the first place!

Show quote history

I think the one after Windows 95 was Windows 98.
it's a bit like iPhone I think skipped 9 and went from iPhone 8 to iPhone 10, coz I remember a joke on TV saying, "There's no iPhone 9, because 7, 8 (ate) 9" 😂
xx

Sakuem · 29/05/2024 14:54

SeanBeansMealDeal · 02/05/2024 16:57

I just read that out aloud to my 11yo DS (who is really into computers), and was thinking that Windows 97 was obviously from a long time ago and obsolete now... but he instantly reminded me (and I was there, using computers in 1997, but he obviously wasn't) that Windows 97 isn't just very old; it never actually existed in the first place!

Show quote history

I had a second-hand computer that my Dad bought off his friend that was OS Windows 95 in 2004 😂
Gosh that was already 20 years ago 😅
xx

G5000 · 29/05/2024 14:53

Not a CV, but I just received an out of office message starting with: "Thank you for your massage."

Sakuem · 29/05/2024 14:51

I proof read for a lady who had only one typo (that I noticed 😂) which said that she'd taught English at a 'Pubic School'

ToWhitToWhoo · 02/05/2024 17:43

The 'asassinating customers' quote reminds me: Not in a CV, but in a draft of an articls for a scientific journal: '14 participants were executed for not meeting the criteria.' It was corrected to 'excluded' before publication!

SeanBeansMealDeal · 02/05/2024 16:57

RoomOfRequirement · 24/04/2024 17:42

I reviewed an application recently for a senior IT role, and the applicant wrote typewriter and Windows 97 as skills.

This was in 2024. A high level technology savvy position.

I just read that out aloud to my 11yo DS (who is really into computers), and was thinking that Windows 97 was obviously from a long time ago and obsolete now... but he instantly reminded me (and I was there, using computers in 1997, but he obviously wasn't) that Windows 97 isn't just very old; it never actually existed in the first place!

optionalnamechange · 02/05/2024 16:22

RoomOfRequirement · 24/04/2024 17:42

I reviewed an application recently for a senior IT role, and the applicant wrote typewriter and Windows 97 as skills.

This was in 2024. A high level technology savvy position.

I had an application from a young lady who thought she would be a great computer programmer as she was good with languages, having really enjoyed French at school. No IT experience though.
Je m'appelle SQL....

crumbledog · 02/05/2024 15:42

NewspaperTaxis · 01/05/2024 14:56

This is interesting - as the main problem with Word Docs is surely that they can be amended maliciously? For instance, a firm could beef up your skills or qualifications on your CV, then later call you out for making stuff up and fire you. Guess I'm being paranoid, but it is a way to get rid of someone. As many CVs you have to upload on an application form rather than email, that is feasible. (Never heard it happen, admittedly.)

Show quote history

If they want to get rid of you underhandedly, they will get rid of you regardless of the format of your cv.

frankentall · 02/05/2024 09:36

NewspaperTaxis · 01/05/2024 14:56

This is interesting - as the main problem with Word Docs is surely that they can be amended maliciously? For instance, a firm could beef up your skills or qualifications on your CV, then later call you out for making stuff up and fire you. Guess I'm being paranoid, but it is a way to get rid of someone. As many CVs you have to upload on an application form rather than email, that is feasible. (Never heard it happen, admittedly.)

Show quote history

Anyone that malicious and determined could amend a pdf too. It's a piece of piss.

frankentall · 02/05/2024 09:34

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 26/04/2024 20:51

Who? The applicant or my friend?

The applicant is obviously unprofessional, but as for my friend? Nah. Not really. It's her own very small company. She only employs three other people. She's not an HR manager of a big firm or anything.

Let's say they advertise for a qualified electrician (for example) they get inundated with CVs from people with no experience as electricians whatsoever and some of them can't even write an application letter in basic English. They are obviously just churning out the job applications to keep the numbers up, so their benefits don't get sanctioned. Some of them even seem to be absolutely terrible on purpose. It wastes huge amounts of her time and pisses her right off.

Show quote history

The fault here doesn't lie with unsuitable applicants though, it's the fucking stupid jobseekers requirements that set a ridiculous nominal target of jobs to apply for without any reference to suitability or likelihood of being considered.

AstonsDataThief · 02/05/2024 08:51

If a firm wants to make something up to get rid of you, you don’t want to work there.

SevenSeasOfRhye · 01/05/2024 17:59

NewspaperTaxis · 01/05/2024 14:56

This is interesting - as the main problem with Word Docs is surely that they can be amended maliciously? For instance, a firm could beef up your skills or qualifications on your CV, then later call you out for making stuff up and fire you. Guess I'm being paranoid, but it is a way to get rid of someone. As many CVs you have to upload on an application form rather than email, that is feasible. (Never heard it happen, admittedly.)

Show quote history

It should show the last date the Word document was amended so if this was two years after you joined the company or whatever hopefully you'd have a good case for saying it wasn't you.

NewspaperTaxis · 01/05/2024 14:56

MFF2010 · 24/04/2024 18:48

This isn't true, I recruit loads and it doesn't matter 🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

This is interesting - as the main problem with Word Docs is surely that they can be amended maliciously? For instance, a firm could beef up your skills or qualifications on your CV, then later call you out for making stuff up and fire you. Guess I'm being paranoid, but it is a way to get rid of someone. As many CVs you have to upload on an application form rather than email, that is feasible. (Never heard it happen, admittedly.)