Do you send failing asd kid to private school?

Do bear in mind that workloads within private schools are huge compared to the state sector….they are likely to be given homework that takes evenings and weekends from year 7 whereas homework in the state sector is often minimal. An academic child who loves learning will possibly do better than a non academic child who hates it ,as private schools usually rely on having a high achieving year group. P.s. ehcp’s are very hard to come by unless your child has exceptional needs ,which doesn’t sound the case.

The EHCP is a legal contract between the local authority and the child, and it sets out to be a description of their needs and barriers to education (section B) and a prescription for the provision which will remove those barriers/meet those needs (section F) and the outcomes (section E) are a measure of the success of section F.

You also have the right (with a couple of caveats) to place the child at the setting of your choice. The EHCP is legally binding on the local authority and can stay in place until they are 25.

In that case you may not need to face the dilemma.

Look into the EHCP system. Get her needs documented.

If she has an EHCP then the secondary transfer process is not the one everyone else uses - you look at schools and one is named in the EHCP as part of the process.
The school has limited ability to challenge this.

I'm not an expert on the secondary transfer process but it sounds like you would benefit from talking to a Sen specialist as both of your kids would benefit from an EHCP.

Come over to the SEN boards. I have some experience but there are very experienced people over there.

Yes.

I worked in schools for 20 years as a maths teacher.

Students with EHCPs have annual reviews where the Senco, parents and other professionals sit down and look at how well the child is doing. This alone puts pressure on the school to help them.

A good EHCP can also state that (for example) the student must have a 1:1 TA or must access Lego therapy or needs to have a time out card or should have access to a time out room etc etc.

Getting an EHCP for students can be time consuming for parents and sometimes parents don't want their child "labelled".
This means their child finds it harder to access the things that will help them -
So conversations I have had at school - Can X join the support maths group? No it's only for students with EHCPs.

It also means that your child's needs are acknowledged by the school. It means that if there are social or emotional problems they will put much more pastoral support in place - because there is monitoring of how many students with EHCPs get detentions/are excluded/isolated etc and the school want this to be low.

It can also help get extra time or an individual room in exams as you have documentation that your child has needs above and beyond a normal student.

Yes.

Get one.

Not your specific question, but my eldest is autistic and got a place at the local grammar school. She is very academic but also very emotional. But the school have been amazing at supporting her. Year 7 was a struggle as she adjusted to the changes from primary to secondary but she is doing really well now. I think she has had a lot more support than if she had gone to a state school. They have been able to make adjustments for the things she finds difficult including supporting friendships with various lunchtime clubs.

I was hopeful too that being in a very academic school might also help her in that, even if she doesn't 'fit in' in some ways with her peers, that she would find it easier if she was like them academically. And also that the more academic children might be a bit more forgiving and less likely to bully. This was maybe a hangup from my own school though, where someone super smart and a bit different was going to end up the target of a lot of meanness.

There are specialist SpLd schools which might be worth considering, and which you may well get funded via EHCP.

This is a really difficult decision but just to flag up our local grammar is vast and has dire pastoral care so we have chosen not to send our third anxious, overwhelmed ASD there and his profile sounds similar to your second child. His two older brothers went and were okay as less anxious/overwhelmed (clear autistic traits in both) but we were unimpressed with the complete lack of individualised education/care and have seen acquaintances with similar profile to our youngest end up completely refusing school at the grammar with no real help forthcoming from grammar.
Youngest heading next year to small private secondary with good sen on academic scholarship instead. You said your second is bright so may be possible to send both with scholarship for one??

How old is child number 2? What if she doesn’t get selected for the grammar school?

I have 3DC, 2 youngest ASD. Middle one struggled big time after Covid and was failing (yr8). We found a brilliant private school near us, v nurturing, small classes. We have had to remortgage but it’s the best decision we made sending him there.
we had family meetings before hand with all dc, didn’t make decision lightly.
it also had to be the right school, there are some v academic schools near us where he would have struggled with the pressure.

3 years later he’s about to sit GCSEs, he’s predicted 6/7 rather than the 3/4s. He’s also a much more confident, happy child.

the other 2 mock his ‘posh’ uniform and fancy lunches (as siblings do), but we’ve always been v open with them about decision.

Agree totally - horses for courses etc

Most EHCPs are in mainstream. And most EHCPs are for neuro divergence.

I have no experience with ASD but my DD has a learning difficulty plus mental heath issues and a chronic health condition and we transferred her to a non selective private school just so she could be in a calmer and more relaxed environment with small class sizes.

She is due to take GCSEs this year and will most likely only manage to get mainly level 3s and a couple of 4s if she has a good day but we don't regret our decision one bit. The school has been extremely supportive in arranging for her to have extra time and access to a quiet room for exams and have provided loads of addition 1:1 tuition in the run up to GCSEs.

DS is bright and did very well at state grammar so we never felt the need to justify sending DD private and him to state.

Just putting this out there but is it TCS?

OP you need to rethink everything here and bone up on how SEN education works. You can buy your way through it to some degree by commissioning your own reports which then contribute to a shit hot EHCP and amazing provision.

A significant proportion of SEN schools (the ones which fall under section 41 of the education act) are Independent and they are funded essentially via Local Authorities, almost exclusively for kids with EHCPs. There would be no way that parents could afford the fees that specialist provision charges, and no way that the LAs could provide similar on their own purse so they effectively sub-con on a case by case basis. For example the ASD senior school near here, takes kids from 3 counties mostly plus boarders and the day fees start at £54,000 a year. These are children who could not be accommodated in mainstream.

So for the govt to whack VAT on that, shoots themselves in the foot to some degree and there would have to be separate legislation to deal with this conundrum.

I looked into it for my own failing ASD kid.
Everything around us would have required him to sit and entrance exam. Which he would have failed.
I remember thinking that if state school had prepared him to pass an exam like that- I'd have no complaints with state school, in the first place!
I ended up home educating for three years. He'll be starting at a SEN hub attached to a mainstream school next term.

It’s just weird what people’s perceptions are of ASD. If your child is high academically performing with poor social skills your average academically selective private school would be a far, far better option than your average state school. Private school kids are on the whole better behaved / calmer because their home lives are much more likely to be stable. a calm atmosphere with calm kids is what many many high functioning ASD kids crave.

People on this thread, some have no clue what classes of 30+ in massive mainstream schools do to a SEN kid

Go private OP

I would not pay for private for one & not the other.

Even the private that claim to be supportive with SEN, generally aren't the way the state sector is required to be.

Mildly autistic isn't really a phrase that's used these days. A lot of kids have what's called a spikey profile anyway e.g. excel in some areas and struggle in others. Also they may mask so your mild child may be internalising their experience and that does often end in complete burnout and shutdown later in life.
If you mean academically able then I can say that my kid has thrived once moving to a suitable independent school funded by the LA.

It will vary though depending on the quality of the EHCP and the assessments that feed into it.
If the EHCP is woolly e.g. 'child might benefit from a smaller class on occasion' then it'll be crap.
Make sure it is measured and specific e.g. 'child requires a class size of 15 or less at all times' is better than the phrase above.
Also make sure they've included everything from the professional reports. They do accidentally miss things especially if they are expensive.