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AIBU?

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Hen do dilemma

182 replies

Anonymoususe · 24/04/2024 08:11

Invited to friends hen do about 6 months ago, paid my part and not heard anything since?! Also have not received an invitation to the wedding, and the hen do is coming up soon. Have messaged bride asking when the wedding is but no reply. Starting to think I’m not actually invited to the wedding 😂 it’s all very odd. Would I be unreasonable to not attend the hen if I’m not actually invited to the wedding? It hasn’t cost a lot so far, but would involve overnight hotel, travel, drinks food etc worked out it would cost a minimum of £250 for one night. It would would dictate the whole weekend & we don’t get very much time together as a family. Also a cost that I can’t hugely afford at the moment! Obviously I may still be invited, but it is strange to not have had an invite yet right? And no reply from bride? DH thinks I’m overthinking it and should still go even if I / we are not invited to wedding. It would be nice to celebrate with her, and I will be fine with no invite if it’s just a case of having a small wedding due to cost (weddings can be ridiculously expensive) but would like her to explain that to me. At the moment I’m just making a whole lot of assumptions! Have tried asking about wedding planning etc and organising catch ups but it’s all been very vague and slow responses on her part.

OP posts:
Harvestfestivalknickers · 24/04/2024 08:30

I would have expected communication about hen do arrangements by now? Eg, arrival time, how everyone is getting there, accommodation etc. If you've not received anything about the hen do, I would be worried that it's actually going ahead? Or have you been ghosted?

podcastrunner · 24/04/2024 08:28

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podcastrunner · 24/04/2024 08:27

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Anonymoususe · 24/04/2024 08:20

The problem is I feel it’s a lot of money to spend if I wouldn’t be valued enough as a friend to be invited to the wedding or evening part. I guess that’s why I’m stressing about it as perhaps I thought we were closer than we actually are. 6 months ago she said they have a date and to expect an invite soon. The hen is in 10 days time so I really need to decide whether I fork out for a hotel or not pretty soon…

OP posts:
AlanBrendaCelia · 24/04/2024 08:19

Phone the bride, don’t just message her. Who did you pay the deposit to? Have you contacted them?

Lampslights · 24/04/2024 08:16

This is like catnip on here. I’m with your husband though. Wait and find out. Stop stressing and obsessing.

0verandoveragain · 24/04/2024 08:14

I'd just think about whether you want to go to the hen or not. Forget about everything else. You say you'd like to celebrate with her, so go.

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