To be disappointed about the book?

Depends on the shop/charity. Oxfam usually charges £2.50 or £3 for pbs, hbs vary, some are cheap, very recent ones a bit more.

What happened to "it's the thought that counts?".

If I was your daughter, I might equally be annoyed that you had cared so little about her gift that you haven't so much as bothered to pick it up and look at it properly in 4 months.

I find too many of the responses here disingenuous. It's as if mothers shouldn't expect anything at all from their precious offspring. That all you can expect from a child is take, take, take and maybe the occasional charity shop book in recompense. It's setting mothers up for a lifetime of being unappreciated and taken for granted. That's not good enough.

@Abeona But parents shouldn't expect anything.

As a parent, you brought your child into the world. They didn't ask to be here. How can you expect anything at all from them? How can you possibly tell them what is 'good enough' when you dragged them into existence?

It's inherently a one-way dynamic as a parent. That's the deal.

If children want to get gifts etc to thank their parents then that's lovely (and they usually do), but there is no 'good enough' here.

The OP needs to reflect on her parenting then, if her daughter's efforts aren't good enough.

Just have a conversation about presents and spend next year. If you value gifts so much maybe she feels pressured to buy whereas she’s rather not or do something different on environmental/cost grounds. Buying and giving presents doesn’t have the same meaning for everyone.

No indeed. But there's a balance between that and claiming to be happy with a rusty paper clip from MY DD, because I'm so grateful to be even acknowledged by her because im so not worthy...which comes across as very fawny and martyred. And even if true misses he point, which is less about receiving a mean gift and more about what it says of the character of the giver. Most people prefer to think they have raised their children to be thoughtful and generous.

Some people measure worth by money spent. Notions like "£10 minimum" would support this. It's very materialistic.

Agreed, it's awful and totally thoughtless of how you would feel.

@VestibuleVirgin Yep.

Your daughter gifted you a book which by your own admission you enjoyed a lot. She had thought about your likes and interests, and got you a gift to match.

Why are you thinking about how much money she spent or whether it was from a charity shop? It was a thoughtful gift.

Yes paperbacks are usually three for a £1.

They are, although I get hardbacks for about £4. A slim paperback? It is strange.

I agree with pp there is a massive amount of disingenuousness on this thread.

Am i out of touch here? I thought books in charity shops were about 30p
Totally missing the point I know.

That’s weird
I can’t understand how you can’t enjoy something that cost 2.50 not 10 despite being the same thing!
if be happy if I liked it and pleased that it wasn’t 10 especially if I didn’t like it!!
it’s the thought that counts and be lucky you got a gift as my son and eldest daughter always forgets but I don’t mind! I don’t need presents from my children especially expensive ones.

I loved my mum and I always tried to give her something a bit special for Christmas and birthdays, even if it stretched me financially at times, because I wanted her to know how much I valued her. There were times when I was very stretched, particularly after I'd bought my first home and interest rates went up, but even then I'd find something modest and then make a special card for her, or write her a loving note. Did your daughter do anything else to make this book a bit more special, OP?

I find too many of the responses here disingenuous. It's as if mothers shouldn't expect anything at all from their precious offspring. That all you can expect from a child is take, take, take and maybe the occasional charity shop book in recompense. It's setting mothers up for a lifetime of being unappreciated and taken for granted. That's not good enough.

I understand you, OP. A tenner is the absolute minimum you spend on your mum when you're earning. I'd feel equally disappointed. I'd step back from spending so much money on her, give up on any expectations of her completely and focus on creating a new, more rewarding life for myself. Go for a promotion, get some training, earn better money. Use this as a pushing-off point, don't settle for being low-income and unappreciated by your child.

Just from the description, was it The Great Gatsby by any chance? Imho you'll be more disappointed once you've read it! I remember thinking, "Is that it?!"

Spending money on someone isn't the only way to show how much they mean to us, but rightly or wrongly in our society, its one way. Generosity with our own resources towards another is also considered a positive, and excess and unnecessary frugality and meaness to others is not. So I think people are being a bit disingenuous in pretending such a meagre gift from daughter to mother is unremarkable, and the OP should be grateful. She is her mother for goodness sake, and unless she was a very bad one, is indeed worth more than what would be generally be considered close to nothing at all.

If it were my daughter my first thought would be that she had financial pressures I wasn't aware of, if I was certain that wasn't the case, than I'd be surprised too OP.

Same here. Actually I prefer a funny/cheeky/rude card above all else. The laugh we have with cards is worth more than any gift my kids could buy me.

Agree with this entirely

There’s a big middle ground between spending £2.49 on a gift and buying “lavish” gifts.

Two other thoughts…….

Perhaps she had made a decision on environmental grounds to purchase only second hand gifts/ items as presents, she may be quietly buying only second hand across the board for herself for this reason, many people do. Certainly if I see something second hand that I think will fit the bill I will go for it, new not a prerequisite!

Another explanation may be that she is concerned that you may be spending more than necessary on her and is trying to signal that more modest gifts would be ok with her without saying directly.

If you are enjoying the book then happy days! I’ve been variously bought a diet cook book when I was notably climbing the dress size ladder and some long drawn out saga about pregnancy and the miracle of birth when I was trying and failing to conceive, go Mum 🤣🤣🤣

I think it depends on the book.

J R Hartley would have been over the moon with his copy of Fly Fishing - even if it had only cost £2.49.

Daughter on professional salary. No debt. Not currently saving for deposit, though highish rent

@AnnaSewell in my 20s when I had the above description was when I was the most skint in my life. Just all the bills, high rent, going out (but not going overboard), paying for the odd holiday/trip, clothes........ It didn't get better for me until my wage increased which took a while.

Lots of overthinking on here, but yes - you absolutely deserved more than a £2.50 Christmas gift from your daughter. She may as well not have bothered.

Just because one is 'a mum' does not automatically entitle one to be showered with lavish gifts, nor does it mean one has to give them