To be disappointed about the book?

Why the F do you call the OP a boomer?!!! (And you say it in such a horrible insulting derogatory sneery way too!)

Her daughter is in her 20s, so the OP is very likely only middle aged/possibly in her 40s. Boomer indeed! Clearly an excuse to have a go at the older generations - so rude!

Yeah this. ^ The OP's DD is either in a shit load of debt - 10s of 1000s, or she and her mum (the OP) don't have a good relationship. My DDs would have spent £3 on me when they were 10, and still at 'little school!' A grown woman spending £3 on her mother for her birthday is not normal in any family I know, (especially when that grown woman/daughter is a professional, and on a good salary.)

My DDs spend around £40 to £45 on me for my birthday - and their dad (my DH.) Unless it's a birthday age ending in a 0. Then they will spend around £100-120 on us. We spend around £85-90 on them though. (For birthdays that are not BIG birthdays,) and around £200 on big birthdays. And we don't mind. We CHOOSE to do that.

Me and DH usually pay when we go out for meals with them. Though when it's our 2 DD and their partners we split the bill. Wouldn't be fair on me and DH to pay for all 6 adults. Especially as our 2 DDs partners both eat like a horse!

Boomer, have you heard about the COL crisis that is tormenting the country, especially the younger generation?
You should be ashamed of your ungratefulness.

Does it have to be about the cost.
If you like the book what difference does it make.

@HellonHeels well you'd think people would rub out the prices - but often they don't.
I've actually bought books in one charity shop with their (shop name) sticker on the front with one price and a different shops sticker on the back with a different price 😂

Not surprised to see the usual MN piile on about being ungrateful, entitled and greedy etc etc.

It's a mean present. If you are going to buy someone close to you a second hand book because you really think they will like it, you also buy something 'new' and shiny because it's Christmas and you love them. A pot plant. Chocolate. A pair of fluffy socks. Something. I get the £10 threshold thing - it's an amount that means they might skip a coffee or something - it shows you are worth them sacrificing an amount that they feel - even if only a bit.

But everyone else is going to tell you about the 'spirit of Christmas' OP.

Context is everything. If you weren't speaking prior to that and wouldn't even be in the same room, then a present of any type is a peace offering, especially if personal (and a big gift would not have been appropriate).

If you normally get on very well and usually give bigger presents, I'd be checking out with my dd her finances.

If you don't know the 'significance' of a gift four months later, this speaks to problems in the relationship. I don't even remember specifically what I got from my dd's at Christmas except it was a nice day! I certainly wouldn't know what each person got or its monetary value.

This book is symbolic, but of what, only you and your dd know.

When I was 14 my mother gave me a fiver for pocket money. It was the first time I’d ever had pocket money.
(Bear in mind this was 1972). Anyway, I split it. I bought her a birthday present that I thought she’d really like (a dress ring) and got myself some eyeshadow with the rest. Fortunately I’d kept a wee bit back because on her birthday I got beaten black and blue for not spending it all on her and for buying a cheap ring. I got sent to the local newsagent, before school and scraped enough for an Agatha Christie paperback.
I vowed then that I would never set my kids up to fail and that I would always be grateful for anything they bought me.
She got you a present, it was by a favourite author. Be grateful and be kind.

OP is upset because her daughter was cheap - and she was. I can understand her being hurt. No issue with giving or receiving 2nd hand books. I would definitely not start a tit for tat crap present war with my own child though (or anyone). I might delicately try to find out if they have any money worries.

From what other posters on here are saying, it sounds like there are lots of issues between mother and daughter, so there is probably more to it.

My adult daughter did the same for me, great book, perfect for me and only cost a few £

How sad that your daughter seemed aware of your response and rubbed out the price.
My daughter mid twenties bought us all charity shop gifts for Christmas last year due to being environmentally aware.
This is an upcoming trend currently too, so prepare yourself for more of it.
Its the thought that counts not the expense.

This.
@AnnaSewell Mum buys presents from charity shops sometimes- Sister in law was ???! but I realise it’s just her way- and she can buy some really thoughtful things from there.

Do you get on well with your daughter normally?

I don't think OP is being disingenuous, but she's wrong to hope for an independent view on whether this is an objectively Bad Present, because it can only really be assessed within the full context.

Just to show how hard it is, even with full context some PP are saying 'be grateful for the olive branch' while I'm thinking it was a deliberately shitty present.

I do think the op is being ridiculous but what is so offensive about Easter cards? I don’t send them but I got two this year and thought ‘how nice that someone is thinking of me enough to send me this card’ when I received them.

Surely a card is the opposite of materialism? It’s inexpensive and thoughtful to go to the effort of writing and posting a card to say ‘thinking of you’ isn’t it?

Well it's not too much to ask to erase the price mark is it? Low effort not to.

Yes, but not just that. Spending £2.50 years n a charity shop book indicates a lack of effort. So yes the thought is nice but that’s not enough. The same goes for an expensive present that wasn’t thoughtful. ‘Value’ doesn’t need to be money, it can be time, effort etc.
Stop undervaluing yourself if you think this is ok.

I just read that too.
The OP also asked questions about toddler/ baby milestones and as her daughter is mid twenties presumably the toddler is not OP’s. Has OP upset daughter by saying things about her toddler’s development?

Looked at the other thread 😂 feel a bit duped that I gave a bit of an insight into personal experience with my finances. OP, be grateful for the book, stop being a dick and accept your daughter is her own person and entitled to her own views. Leave politics away from family.

Fuck me. Just read the other thread where OP details the relationship with the daughter. I’d be grateful for the book in these circumstances. Its peace offering and acknowledgement of the birthday.

Wowwww you’re not wrong!
There’s a lot unsaid by the OP… this isn’t out of the blue. Major family issues!

Well they are, aren't they?! It doesn't have to reflect money but match the thought, prepartion and time. My friend bought my children easter eggs, it was unexpected and appreciated. I gave her a free holistic treatment at a later date. Someone gives me something then I give back. The poster doesn't have to spend alot on someone who spent £2.50 on a second hand book. Spending less or making a thoughtful gift is fine.

I think that’s pretty low effort OP I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all in feeling hurt.

I thought this too, so I did have a look at past threads and it appears that the OP and her daughter had a huge falling-out over something quite significant (OP was involved in some sort of fairly public litigation about something the daughter was fundamentally opposed to/hurt by/embarrassed about) and around autumn time they were not actually speaking, the daughter had ignored the OP's birthday and the OP didn't even want to be in the same room as her daughter at a family gathering.

So I think this is a really disingenuous thread, to be honest. The second-hand book is really not the issue here.

You'd rather she'd paid more than she had to for it?

I could see it being a problem if you're an author with a hatred of people buying secondhand or she'd bought you Mein Kampf. Or possibly if you have OCD/some kind of anxiety that a secondhand book would stress you out on the basis of hygiene.

Otherwise, don't see the fuss.