To be disappointed about the book?

I would have thought the OP would know if that was her DD's stance on things

It wasn't a book by her favourite author at all

How does anyone know that?

Assume you never give or gave your parents, or your DH's, any gifts then?

I love picking out and giving DM and DF presents and they seem to appreciate it.

What does 'gammon' mean @oakleaffy?

Your mother is very lucky.

No way would I have bought my mum just that, even as an out of work teenager, as a student, or now, when I've got some big bills and have to be quite careful! It's something I would prioritise unless I really had no cash whatsoever.

Worthy’s? Ok.

But surely you would understand that young adult would spend more on a new romantic partner they are just establishing a relationship and trying to impress than on close family member?
If child is comfortable around you and secure in your love there is no need to impress parents. Even securelly attached babies give their best smiles to people they just met as they know mum is always there. Just imagine that with social pressure and adulthood.

I see all the worthys are out - I think it's a very cheap gift. I always say to my DD who is the same age not to buy me anything much so Im not grabby but I'd be hurt

My daughter is 28. My birthday is Christmas Eve. She planned on sending me a box of chocolates for my birthday and christmas. But then she sent it to her dad, my ex, instead as he had got engaged. I’d have definitely treasured it if she’s sent it to me lol.. (I still love her, god bless her).

It's not a great gift. I'd be disappointed too

In principle, I quite like the idea of no gifts at all / charity donations instead of gifts / a challenge to spend under £10 / several second hand books to the value of one new one

But, I think that should be agreed / discussed first, to check everyone is "on board"

Some of these posts are hilarious, and of course there's at least one 'sad tale of only tangentially related, don't you know how lucky you are, woe,' that crop up repeatedly. I'm surprised nobody's brought up Palestine yet for full MN-ungrateful-I-wish-I-had-your-problems-bingo.

A book itself is a nice present and I personally wouldn't be bothered if it was brand new OR came from a charity show
A £2.50 book ON IT'S OWN and nothing else, for a present from someone who can afford more, and who has happily received much more expensive presents not to mention all the other help I'm sure OP has given her dd over the years, is unthoughtful and selfish. Of course it's not unreasonable to expect someone to spend a bare minimum of effort on you once a year. OP has suggested she'd be happy with a book costing a tenner - how that can possiby be perceived as demanding or grabby I have no idea.

Was it Black Beauty?

Was it a book she thought you would love? What if she genuinely saw the book and thought Mum would love this.

My best present from my son is something really cheap but has the same image of his tattoo on so it always reminds me of him and is worth more to me than my good designer handbag!

I’m sorry for your loss. But your daughter’s death doesn’t mean that no one else is allowed to have a complaint about their daughter and should just shut up.

Someone else could come here and say, “You should be grateful your daughter lived long enough to give you a present. You should be grateful you can go to a cemetery. My infant daughter was killed in an explosion and no one’s body could be identified.” Would that be remotely helpful to you? Would you feel grateful, or would you feel like that person was using grief and trauma as a weapon to metaphorically smack you with?

Whatever the backstory between OP and her daughter is, if you’re going to get a present for a family member, you don’t give them an obviously cheap one.

THis should have been in your OP.

I think she didn't put any thought at all into your gift, OP. I'm sorry.

It does seem a bit mean and thoughtless .

The answer to this is, "it depends."

I bought a book for a dear friend recently. It was secondhand on ebay and cost me £2.85.

BUT

It is a rare book that she hasn't already got about a subject she loves.

💯.

It's about making an effort. We should want to treat people we love on their birthdays. From a young child, that might be a homemade card and baking a cake with another adult, from a teenager a small gift and breakfast in bed. From an adult, you'd expect a bit more tbh. It's not about the money, it's about the gesture. For example, they could offer to come round and cook a nice meal.

It means that mothers model selflessness to their daughters, but the pp also modelled to hers that mothers are people with feelings that matter; and she's glad that she did.

This doesn’t make sense. You already knew the book was second hand because it has signs of wear. And you surely knew that a second hand, slim paperback would not be £10.

So I’d tell you to lower your expectations to avoid being disappointed, but I’m not convinced that this is a genuine post. If you’re going to make things up, at least make sure the basic details make sense.

The sanctimony and saintliness on this thread is something else.

Are you being deliberately obtuse? Why would it make any difference to your feelings based on the difference of £7.51?
I can’t imagine putting a gifting amount from my children who are a similar age to your daughter.

I don't care where my presents come from, but I would be hurt if they were thoughtless.

My daughter has bought me a playing cards set for my birthday, and I know it cost 50p from Oxfam. It is beautiful and I love it, and she chose it with some thought for my interests. I'd much rather have that than generic chocolates.

A £2.50 book is fine, but needs to be the right book.